Additional Disclaimer: A couple of lines lifted from Lois And Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. ;)
Author�s Note: At its initial conception, this was a response to a Halloween fic challenge at the original Required Reading, involving Jake in a dress, spiked punch, and other stuff. Can�t remember who issued the challenge, though.
Nicky�s YA Episodes, season 2, episode 4. Revised version 2004.
You can find the commentary for changes to episodes 204-206 here.
Part One
Teaser
There was a definite chill in the air as winter approached, its footsteps brisk and unfailing. Rawley Lake lay still and quiet against the cool morning air, its glassy surface broken only by the rhythmic dips of oars as a boat glided past. The bodies seated upon it moved in unison, breathing out heavily as they dragged the oars back, making the boat shoot forward like an arrow; then the bodies themselves slid forward while the oars became pushed back in preparation for another such motion, ready for another surge forth.
Mist floated above the lake, shrouding the Rawley crew team like a thin white veil. However, it could not fully conceal the strength and grace they brought with every stroke, and through the haze one could see the oars themselves spreading like wings, lithely carving a rippling path across the water.
Upon the banks of Rawley Lake, two grey stone buildings stood facing each other, the prestigious Rawley Academies, a second home to those who could afford it. But for those who could not, there were still other ways in, as Will Krudski would testify. Though, it hasn't exactly been an easy path, he would say that too.
Huge black banners were strung up across the exterior walls of both schools, with 'Halloween Masquerade Ball' stencilled in bright orange letters.
*Will's voiceover begins*
'Halloween. The night when the ghosts and goblins come out to play. It's a chance to conceal yourself and look at the world from behind a mask, isolating yourself from the set ways that others take to looking at you. It is also a chance to let another part of you shine through, the part that you keep hidden away, the part that no one else knows. It's a night where tricks are uninhibited, surprises are abundant, and it's a night where unexpected wonders can sometimes happen.'
***
Rawley Boys' Academy, common room
"So, what's up with this Masquerade Ball?" asked Scout Calhoun, reclining lazily in an oversized armchair. Jake Pratt and Hamilton Fleming were sprawled on the couch across from him, and the question was directed at Hamilton, resident Dean�s son and Rawley know-it-all.
"Just one of the many Rawley traditions,� Hamilton answered, looking bored. �When I was a kid I thought it meant that everyone was gonna come in costume. I was really excited, waiting for, you know, Darth Vader and bunny rabbits to show up. But it was completely black-tie, except everyone was wearing a mask. It's just an excuse for the chicks to get dressed up. Again."
�How disappointing,� Jake said with a small laugh.
�I was definitely crushed,� he grinned at her.
Scout, though, was not. "This is great!� he exclaimed. �Do you know what a ball at Rawley means?"
"Lots of chicks in taffeta?" Jake raised an eyebrow and looked askance at Hamilton, smirking.
"Yeah, there's that,� Scout said slowly, the inside joke flying straight over his head. �But I was thinking I could ask Bella to go with me."
"Scout,� Jake said carefully, after a pause. �I thought you've been through this already. Is this really a good time to ask her?� As Bella Banks' confidante and closest female friend, she felt that it was her duty to protect the girl from heartache, and that meant shielding her as much as possible from Scout and Sean McGrail's advances while she was still trying to make up her mind between the two.
"Yeah, and whatever happened to Paige, man?� Hamilton added. �I don't think I've seen you guys together for a while."
"Her family moved her to some Swiss boarding school for the year," Scout shrugged. Jake and Hamilton gave him a strange look, and he spread his hands. "Don't ask me why, I had nothing to do with it. Anyway, Jake, it�s not like I�m proposing. I'm just gonna ask Bella casually. If she doesn�t want to, it�s cool. I won�t push.�
Jake nodded, still looking a little doubtful.
�What about you guys?� Scout asked, eager to get the topic off himself. �Are you going?�
Hamilton and Jake exchanged a glance. "Well," Jake said slowly, "� we're not sure."
"The past few weeks have been kinda stressful, and we've been trying to keep a low profile," said Hamilton. "You know, the whole thing with what happened on camp�"
"Has there been any word on, you know� your attacker?" Scout furrowed his brows in concern, looking carefully at the other boy. He could make out a faint purple bruise on the top of Hamilton's cheekbone, the reminder of a black eye acquired on the recent new entrant bonding camp and result of some guy's particularly violent homophobic nature.
"We've been talking to the Dean and some teachers about what happened,� Jake answered for Hamilton. �And about what we should be doing, but� it's hard to get a lead. The school doesn't have the rights to take students for questioning, so they're thinking about getting the police involved."
Scout whistled. "Tough going. You think they�ll carry through on that?"
"Maybe,� Hamilton shrugged. �Even if the police does get involved, it�s only an assault charge, and it only gives them so much room to investigate, which means our guy can slip right through their fingers."
�So,� Scout scratched his chin thoughtfully, �they can't just go through us one by one and sift out the suspicious guys?"
"I don�t think so," Jake said. "So this guy's still hanging around Rawley, we don't know who he is, so we�re not taking chances. The Ball's gonna be huge, anything can happen, and we just don't think we'll be safe there, especially with the masks and all."
�You guys are thinking about skipping the Ball?� asked Will as he walked in, having caught the tail end of the conversation. Nodding at his friends, he took a seat next to Scout.
Jake and Hamilton exchanged another uncertain glance. �You know, it would be fun,� she said wistfully.
"There's gonna be excellent security, and it's on school grounds," Will said. "You can't get much safer." Turning to Scout, he inclined his head, "You're going, right?"
The other boy nodded. "I'm thinking of asking Bella."
"Oh," Will said after a brief pause, lowering his head. "But I thought�"
"Yeah, yeah, I already heard the spiel," Scout interrupted, rolling his eyes. "Backing off, no competition, I know. I swear, I'm only gonna ask her once, if she says no, I won't ask again."
Will nodded, but he didn't look up.
That's Scout's business, he thought, if he wants to ask her only once or a million times.
It's not like I'm going to ask her.
Part Two
*Theme song and opening credits*
The diner
Leaving Charlie pondering over the day�s till takings, Bella walked into Friendly�s just as the last customer walked out. "Wow, late night, you guys," she remarked, glancing at the wall clock. "It's a school night."
"Don�t we know it,� Scout replied with a yawn. �I can't wait to get into bed."
Will nodded in agreement and in greeting, continuing to sweep the floor. Bella glanced at him and a pensive look crossed her eyes. "Can I have a soda?" she asked.
"Help yourself," Scout handed her a large paper cup, carrying a load of dishes into the kitchen.
She leaned over the counter to reach the Coke machine. "So what's up with you two?"
"Not much," shrugged Scout as he put away his cleaning supplies. "You?"
"Nope," she sat down on a stool, sipping her drink slowly. "The scholarship exam for Rawley Girls' is coming up.�
�I think you have a decent shot at it,� he said encouragingly.
She smiled, but her eyes were trained on Will, who was still mopping up, his back turned to them. �Yeah,� she said quietly. �I dunno. I'm not sure if I even want to sit it now � it was kind of a spur of the moment decision. I mean, with Will it was different." She turned to look at the other boy, "It was your ticket out of here. But going to Rawley won't really make my life that much different, so�"
"Yeah," Will acknowledged curtly, with a short glance over his shoulder before he resumed his work.
She looked taken aback. "What�s up, Will?"
"I'm just tired," he said. Scout poked him discreetly, raising an eyebrow. With a small nod Will put away his mop and picked up his jacket from behind the counter. "Um,� he said, striding to the door, �I've got something to do back at the dorms, so I'll see you there, Scout. See ya, Bella."
�Good night,� she said, bemused, watching the glass door swing shut behind him. Turning to Scout, she lifted an eyebrow. "Wow, that was a rapid exit. Are you sure he's okay?"
"I think he's just tired." Clearing his throat, he said casually, "Bella, Halloween's coming up."
"Yeah?" she took another sip of her Coke.
"There's a Masquerade Ball at Rawley and I would really like it if you went with me," he said in a rush, looking at her hopefully.
"Scout, " she began, a note of impatience in her voice as her gaze involuntarily wandered to the streets again. But she froze when she saw that Will had stopped beside the window, hands stuck deep inside his pockets, looking from the outside in.
*Alison Krauss' 'It Doesn't Matter' plays*
She looked down suddenly and with difficulty, as though she had to tear her eyes away from the sight of him standing there, thoughtful, alone and forlorn.
It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed
You've been on a road
Don't know where it goes or where it leads
Scout lowered his head. "Yeah, I thought you'd say no," he mumbled. "I just figured it was worth a shot. I mean, it'll be fun, you know? Jake and Hamilton will probably be there, and Will too�"
Bella swallowed and lifted her eyes once more, seeing Will still standing out there in the chilly autumn night air. A long moment passed before he gave a start, finally registering that she was looking at him. Turning quickly, he walked away, heading toward Rawley.
Yet, he couldn't help but turn his head when he began to disappear from her view, and their gazes locked. There was a sudden pang in her chest, a momentary flash behind her eyes, white-hot, as though she�d been struck by lightning. Then he was gone, swallowed up by the cold autumn night.
It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
If you've made up your mind to go
I won't beg you to stay
You've been in a cage
Throw you to the wind you fly away
Scout, completely oblivious, was still talking with his eyes trained on the floor. "It'd be easy to get a dress too,� he said. �There�s this theme dress shop in Carson, I saw it when I was there last time."
She didn�t speak, and he finally looked up, shaking his head with a note of embarrassment. �You don�t wanna go,� he said. �I get the picture, it's cool, just thought I'd ask."
She turned to look at the empty street, and she felt a similar emptiness inside of her, outlined in sharp angles and ridges as though she were a jigsaw puzzle with the final piece missing. A sudden melancholy surged in her chest and she swallowed, turning to look at him.
�I�ll go.�
His eyes widened. �Really?�
Inadvertently, her gaze flickered toward the window once more. The street outside remained empty, and so did the void, inside. "Yeah," she said, nodding. �I'll go with you."
�Oh, wow,� he said, a huge grin breaking over his face. �That�s� awesome, Bella. I can�t wait.�
She smiled faintly, watching his guileless blue eyes light up in anticipation. And inside her, the void seemed to grow, bringing with it a dull, almost imperceptible ache, the unsettling feeling of incompleteness.
It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Doesn't matter if I bleed
Feel the sting of tears
Falling on this face you've loved for years
***
Carson: theme dress shop
"This one?" Jake suggested, holding up a short orange chiffon dress. "It's so crazy."
"Too crazy for me," Bella laughed, wrinkling her nose, and they continued browsing through the racks in the musty little shop. "I can't believe you're thinking of not going," she remarked as she held up two masks and compared them side-by-side. "Look at this, it's so fun. I can't wait to try some of these masks on. Oh!� she suddenly pointed to a mask hanging on the wall, which was decorated with pale blue feathers and an elaborate sequinned design. "Look at that one. They're all so beautiful.�
�Yup,� said Jake, unenthusiastically.
�I've seen this shop so many times before,� mused Bella, �but I never came in to look. There�s some great stuff here. For sale and hire," she read off a sign, visibly brightening. "Thank god, there's no way I could afford this stuff."
�You�re lucky,� said Jake, making a sour expression. �Even if I go, I�ll have to wear a suit or something.�
�That must suck,� Bella said sympathetically.
Jake shrugged, rifling through a rack of long dresses. "Hey," she said, holding one up, �this is gorgeous. Try it on, Bella."
Bella looked at the dress dubiously. It was velvet, floor-length and a deep wine red, with thin straps and a clean line that looked as though it would hug the body's contours. Very gorgeous, like Jake said, but also very not her. "Um," she began to refuse, but brightened as an idea hit her, "why don't you, Jake?"
Jake looked at her, then back at the gown. "Uh, Bel," she said slowly. "This is a dress. Jake doesn�t wear dresses."
"And it's a masked ball," Bella countered, her eyes sparkling. "Jake, this could be your one chance to go to a dance in a dress! It�s perfect!"
"It'll never work,� Jake said. �Everyone will recognise me. And," she ran a hand through her short hair, "what about this? It�ll give me away for sure."
Bella�s eyes darted around the shop. "Aha!" she exclaimed triumphantly, holding up a long blonde Monroe-esque wig. "They'll never know."
Jake couldn't help but laugh.
***
Scout and Will�s room
"I'm telling you, man, there's nothing to worry about," said Scout, taking a shirt out of his closet and holding it in front of himself, looking critically into the mirror.
"Yeah, I suppose you're right," Hamilton said slowly from his seat on the bed. "Finn�s in charge of security, and dad said he�s pulling out all the stops."
�Then it�s settled,� Scout spread his hands, turning around. "You two are going?"
"I've gotta talk to Jake first," Hamilton said, smiling. "But Bella's probably convinced her already."
The door opened, and Will walked into the room. �Hey guys,� he said with an air of distraction as he flopped onto his bed, looking miserable.
Hamilton and Scout exchanged a concerned glance. "What's up, Will?" asked Scout, putting his shirt back in the closet.
"Nothing," Will mumbled.
"We were just talking about the ball," Hamilton told him. "You are going, right?"
"I dunno," Will shrugged, staring up at the ceiling.
"Why?� Hamilton asked. �Even Jake and I are going.�
�Dude, you�ve got to go,� Scout said. �I told Bella you�d be there.�
Will pulled himself up, leaning back on his elbows as he fixed Scout with a quizzical stare. "Why should she care if I was there? You're her date, not me."
"But I promised her friends will be there," Scout said matter-of-factly. "It wasn�t easy, asking her to this thing, okay? Could you at least show up, for me? Moral support, man."
Will collapsed back onto the bed. "I don't have a date."
"So go stag," Scout was unfazed.
"I don't have a suit."
"You can borrow one of mine," offered Scout.
"We're not the same size."
"Borrow Finn's, then."
"Why do you want me to go that badly?� Will asked, looking disconsolately at his roommate. �I don't wanna be a fifth wheel."
"You won't," replied Scout and Hamilton in unison. "Come on,� Scout added, �It'll be fun. You can scope out all the single girls."
�Scout, I just�� Will paused, rubbing his eyes wearily. �I just don�t feel like it.�
�Aw, man, come on,� Scout wheedled. �I don�t want Bella to feel uncomfortable there. It�d be good if there�s another familiar face, you know?�
Will felt like screaming. Instead, he just sighed, managing a sickly sort of smile.
***
Rawley Academy
Jake walked out of the grove of trees by the lake, having hidden her bike after the trip to Carson. She carried a large shopping bag in her arms, looking around cautiously as she started toward the boys� dormitory.
�Jake!� A sudden voice behind her made her jump.
She swirled around with a gasp, and sighed when she saw who it was. �Lena! You scared me. What are you doing here?�
Lena Fletcher had evidently come back for the fall, and her hair was dyed an even more violent shade of red, if that was possible. She looked at Jake as if she were crazy. "We go to school here, remember?"
�You�re not in Finn�s class this semester?� asked Jake. �I haven�t seen you around campus.�
�Yeah, I�ve got Miss Bradford over at the girls� school,� Lena said as they began walking toward the boys� dorms. �She�s cool. Finn kinda freaked me out in the summer. He�s so� intense.�
Jake laughed. �Yeah. But he�s a cool guy.�
Lena nodded. A pause, and she glanced at the other girl. �So, I heard about you and Hamilton.�
Jake looked askance at her. "You mean�"
"About you guys coming out, and what happened on camp," Lena answered. "I can't believe it. Not the coming out part, obviously; but the camp thing� I feel so horrible just hearing about it. I just can�t believe anyone would do that."
"Yeah," Jake bit her lower lip, shrugging.
"Did they catch the guy?" Lena asked, and seeing Jake shake her head, sighed in frustration. �You're kidding. There's a bastard like that still running around on campus? How can they let that happen?"
"There wasn't much we could do,� Jake said heavily. �No one has rights to do an all-out search. I mean, he wrote us a threatening note, and the teachers did some handwriting comparison and stuff, but they couldn't narrow it down. And it�s not like we can call for a line-up of Rawley sophomores or anything. God, can you imagine what the parents would say?"
"Good point," Lena said glumly.
They walked on in silence and Jake hugged her shopping bag to her chest. "Are you going to the Halloween Ball?" she asked.
"Definitely," Lena said. "Should be fun. You?"
"Yeah�" Jake said without thinking, before she widened her eyes. "I mean, no."
�So� undecided?� Lena glanced at her with a smile.
"Yeah,� Jake laughed weakly. �Can�t decide. Yeah, maybe I'll see you there."
"Okay," Lena patted her on the shoulder as they came to the steps leading up to the dormitory. "Well, I better go. It was good catching up with you."
�You too,� Jake said earnestly. �We should meet up for coffee sometime.�
�That�d be nice,� Lena smiled as she walked off toward the girls� dorms. �Maybe I�ll see you at the ball.�
"See ya," Jake smiled, giving the departing girl a small wave. She turned to walk into the entrance hall, only to bump into Will on the way.
"So are you going or not?� he asked, having caught the tail end of the girls� conversation. �Scout's convinced Ham to go, you know."
�Let�s say I�m going� in a certain manner of speaking,� she laughed, cruising past him. Casting a glance over her shoulder, she asked, �You going with Caroline?�
He shook his head. She smiled sympathetically and went on her way, disappearing up the staircase.
"You're not going with anyone?" Finn asked, coming up the exterior stone steps. �Sorry, can�t help overhearing.�
"I'm going to be the designated fifth wheel,� Will said glumly. �Actually, Finn, I was looking for you, I kinda need a favour."
Finn looked at him knowingly. "Suit?"
"You know me best," Will laughed.
"No problem," Finn said easily. �You can come now, if you�re not busy.�
�Great,� Will said, matching his footsteps to Finn�s as they took a left turn from the entrance hall and into the teachers� wing.
After a brief pause Finn asked quietly, without looking in Will�s direction, "What about Bella?"
Will's eyes darted around the hall and, satisfied that no one else was in earshot, replied, "She's going with Scout."
Finn nodded sagely as he let the boy into his room. "Going to be awkward, huh?"
"Like you wouldn�t believe," Will agreed. "Finn, I need some advice."
"About Bella?" asked Finn, rifling through his closet.
"I've been trying to get away from her,� Will mused gloomily, leaning back against the door with his arms crossed. �And sometimes, for a few minutes, it feels like I'm succeeding, and that I can just stop feeling whatever it is that I�m feeling. Then it all comes gushing back." He looked imploringly at Finn, "What do you think I should do?"
Finn turned from the closet, his dark gaze thoughtful. "I don't think I should be the person to answer this question, Will, I really don't."
Will looked at him, remembering a time not so long ago, a scene he�d inadvertently witnessed between his mentor and the wife of the Dean. �It doesn�t get easier, does it,� he said, his tone taking the uncertainty out of the question.
"I wish I could just say 'follow your heart' like some artiste in a feel-good movie," Finn smiled sadly. "But I can't. You and I both know it's not that simple."
"No, it really isn�t," said Will, looking out the window, scanning the pale autumn sky without seeing much of anything at all.
Part Three
Jake and Hamilton's room
"A wig?" exclaimed Hamilton, sitting up straight on his bed.
"Yeah," Jake laughed at the horrified expression on his face. "Come on, it's not that bad."
"Don't get me wrong," he replied, "I think you going in a dress is� so good. But� are you sure about the wig?"
She put down her shopping bag and cocked an eyebrow. "Hamilton, look at my hair. Can you name one Rawley girl who has hair like this? Everyone will know it's me. A supposed guy in a dress, who is not only cross-dressing, but also has breasts."
"Well, if you're sure�" he said slowly, looking lost for words.
"I am," she replied confidently, pushing a tinge of doubt to the back of her mind. �Anyway,� she continued, �you�d like to see me in this, right?� With a flourish she pulled the dress out of the bag, one gorgeous flurry of crimson velvet.
A devious grin stole over his face as he growled. She laughed, leaning down to kiss him lightly.
***
Scout and Will�s room
"So I guess I'll meet you and Bella there," said Will listlessly, doing up his shirt buttons. As the ball drew nearer, he grew more and more glum; and as he looked out at the setting sun, the wash of fading light near the horizon like bloodied water, he could not remember a Halloween that he had resented more.
Normally he'd be taking his neighbours' children out trick-or-treating by now, maybe even in costume himself. But tonight there were no trick-or-treaters, no costumes, just him in a stupid mask that didn't even hide his identity because everyone was wearing the kind of Opera Phantom masks that barely covered the top half of the face. He was going to a stupid Halloween Ball, alone and sullen. If this was life at Rawley, well, perhaps he didn�t want it as much as he thought he did. He looked down at his all-black ensemble and smiled ruefully. At least his outfit matched his mood.
�Why don�t you come with me to pick Bella up?� Scout put on his suit jacket and turned to look at his roommate. "Do you think I should've gone with the other shirt? I still have time to change." He peered anxiously into the mirror, looking at his blue silk shirt with an indecisive frown.
"Don't you want some alone time?" Will asked, startled.
Scout was still checking himself out. "I don't wanna push it, man. It might be uncomfortable if it's just the two of us. What do you think of this shirt?"
"The shirt's fine, Scout," Will said irritably. "So you want me there as a what? A chaperone?"
�Look,� Scout finally turned away from the mirror. �I'm not gonna push anything with her tonight. We're just friends at a dance, having fun. It's not even like a date. So," he ran a comb through his hair one more time, "it might get awkward when I pick her up. Just come, all right?"
Will was silent, turning toward the window once more.
***
The gas station
Bella looked out the window of her bedroom. The sun had just set, leaving a faint rose-gold imprint over the outline of houses on the horizon. A few little kids in costume were running around on the streets outside, probably getting high on all the sugar they'd been getting.
She glanced at herself in the mirror and touched up her lipstick. She fell in love with the gorgeous feathered mask in the dress shop, and she ended up hiring it along with a matching dress that Jake had picked out. She looked beautiful, and she knew it. She was going to a fancy masquerade ball, which should be interesting, at least, and she had friends there. She had done all the things that beauty magazines had told her to do, pampered herself with a bubble bath, lingered over the almost surgically precise application of make-up, chilled out to her favourite music� and yet there was an overwhelming listlessness at the bottom of her stomach, an emptiness, as though she were enclosed in a cocoon of apathy.
Lost in her misery, it was a few moments before she registered the sound of a running motor outside. Walking to her window and parting the curtains with one hand, she was surprised to see a stretch limo pulling up to the curb. Scout emerged from it, looking handsome in a carefully polished way. He knocked on the door and a moment later Charlie called up the stairs, "Bella, Scout's here!"
�Show time,� she said, quietly, taking one last look in the mirror. Grabbing her mask and plastering a bright smile on her face, she drifted down the stairs.
Scout was in the lounge, making polite small talk with Charlie. They stopped when she arrived and judging from the appreciative look on Scout's face, she knew that he liked what he saw. But then she already knew that she looked good, didn't she? An unfamiliar bitter taste rose up to coat the back of her throat.
"You look amazing," he breathed as he presented her with a small florist's box. "Here."
She smiled and took it and said thank you and opened it and made an appropriately happy and surprised sound when she found a pretty corsage inside. She wore it on her wrist and Charlie took a few pictures of them and she beamed for the photos and inside she felt like screaming.
"Well, we better go," he announced, looking at his watch. "Will's still waiting out in the limo."
"He is?" she asked, a jolt of adrenaline shooting through her bloodstream as she felt her pulse pick up.
"Yeah, I convinced him to come with me,� he said, peering anxiously at her. �It's cool, right?"
She smiled weakly. "Of course."
He proffered his arm and she took it, saying goodbye to Charlie. Stepping out of the house, she waved at the neighbours' children who stood around on the streets, gawking at the limo. Scout opened the door for her, the perfect gentleman. She thanked him, climbed inside, and froze when she saw Will.
What struck her as funny, much later, when she looked back upon that moment, was the fact that both of them had completely artificial smiles plastered onto their faces.
He was wearing a suit that was not unlike Scout's, except that he had on a black shirt instead of a blue one. The colour stood stark against his pale skin, making his boyish face look even more innocent than usual. His pensive eyes brightened momentarily as she came face to face with him, mesmerised by the sight. He saw how her hair shimmered in the soft twilight, hanging sleekly down past her shoulders. He saw the delicate folds of her powder blue dress skimming her body and ending just above her knees, the gauzy material grazing her bare skin. He saw her pale pink lips glisten and her cheeks blush, and all this he took in at a moment�s glance as they froze there, a strange and beautiful tableau.
Scout clambered in after Bella, unwittingly breaking the moment. Bella sat down silently opposite Will and noted that he had the top buttons of his shirt undone, his legs sticking out unceremoniously in front of him. As he smiled at her he ran a hand through his hair, carelessly, tousling it further. She turned to look at Scout, who had sat down next to her, her eyes travelling over him, sleek, classy and oh-so-perfect.
Master Oh-so-perfect Calhoun looked at the two of them and spoke, his voice tinged with a hint of disapproval. "Will, aren't you gonna say something about how great Bella looks?"
She suddenly wanted to throttle him for saying that.
"You look great, Bella," Will said offhandedly, proffering a small half-smile. She brushed past the surface and saw an amused glimmer in his eyes, plain as day. His mouth uttered the words but his eyes spoke a different language, one that Scout did not know. Behind the pale blue gaze he seemed to be saying that he knew she knew she was beautiful, too. And that she didn�t need confirmation for something like this, just as he knew he didn�t need to speak the words at all.
She smiled in spite of herself.
***
Jake and Hamilton's room
"Okay, you can turn around now," said Jake, emerging from behind the closet door.
Hamilton, who was facing the other way, obliged. When his eyes fell on her, he simply stared. His lips formed the shape of an O but evidently he wasn�t getting anywhere near enough to vocalise the word.
She turned self-consciously, putting a hand over her wig. "Well?"
He moved his lips in another feeble attempt to speak, his eyes as wide as saucers. He had never seen Jake with long hair before, and now he was sorry that she had to keep it short to stay at Rawley. The dress clung flatteringly to her figure, and jet-black tresses tumbled past her shoulders, making her skin look extremely creamy. She had used a shiny crimson lipstick in the same shade of the gown, and everything that he saw left no doubt that she was a girl. A very beautiful one at that.
"You look�" he croaked out, swallowing and racking his brain for a word suitable for the magnificent sight before him. She looked at him expectantly, a smile playing about her lips.
He failed to come up with decent vocabulary and, after a moment of panic, decided to settle on the tried-and-true magic word.
"Wow."
"You look pretty wow-worthy yourself," she laughed, taking in the sight of him, the black suit and dark vermilion silk shirt underneath.
"Tonight's going to be amazing," he whispered as he leaned in to kiss her softly.
***
Rawley Academy, Main Hall
The spacious hall was transformed by the time the ball rolled around. Thankfully the decorations committee decided to forgo the normal tackiness of Halloween dances, and instead opted for satiny black and orange streamers hanging off the chandeliers for a thematic touch. Small candles burned discreetly in corners of the hall, and several Jack-O'Lanterns were sitting on the refreshment tables. Music blasted from massive speakers by the stage, and a DJ was happily spinning his way through stacks of records. Lots of students have already turned up, and the hall was a sea of ornate masks, dresses, and customary black suits where tastefully coloured shirts peeked from behind fashionably wide lapels.
Even if some flaunted it and some didn't, there was no denying that this was an elite crowd, children born to wealth, familiar with elegance, knowing how to behave when it was expected of them. It could be seen as extreme refinement, or just plain pompous superficiality. Whatever the case, it was pretty much the Cotillion all over again, except that summer had come and gone, and it was a new dance for a new night.
Halloween.
"No,� Jake pulled on Hamilton's hand, ducking behind a pillar. "No no no no� This isn't gonna work."
"Come on, trust me,� he followed her. �No one will recognise you." He appraised her from behind a black moulded mask, which covered from his cheekbones up. "You look so different that I'm afraid I'd lose you in the crowd and never find you again."
Her hand smoothed over the wig self-consciously, and she pressed down on her ruby-coloured mask, looking around. "Maybe I should've gone with a full-face mask," she lamented, gingerly running a hand over her exposed lips and chin.
"Jake, no one is wearing a full-face mask,� he chuckled. �You'd be even more conspicuous than you are now. Not that, uh,� he added, looking a little caught. �I mean, you're not. Conspicuous, I mean."
"I dunno," she muttered, glancing down again. "Hamilton, I know these people, and they know Jake's a guy. If they realise� there�s a lot more at stake than just a good night out."
He sighed. "I guess you�re right. You know what? Let�s try easing into it. Look, I think that's Lena's over there. Let's go say hi."
"She's gonna know it's me," she exclaimed, shrinking back behind the pillar.
"No, she won't," he replied as he forcibly dragged her from her hiding place.
�How blind do you think people are?� she muttered as they approached Lena, who was wearing a black suedette mask shaped like a cat's face, scanning the crowd with a glass of punch in her hand.
�Very,� he whispered out of the side of his mouth, �trust me.� Raising his voice, he called over the music, �Hey, Lena!�
The redhead turned, smiling as she recognised the boy behind the mask. "Hamilton, hi!" Noticing Jake, she looked curiously at the other girl, who kept her head down, hiding behind her curtain of 'hair'. �Hi,� she said, �I�m Lena.�
�This is Jacqueline,� Hamilton grinned. �A good friend of mine.�
Lena nodded and extended her hand. "Nice to meet you, Jacqueline."
Jake cleared her throat, conscious of her distinctive voice. "Nice to meet you too," she mumbled in a hurried squeak, quickly grabbing hold of Lena�s hand and giving it a tiny shake before she�d let go, discreetly wiping her sweaty palm on the back of her dress.
"So," Lena looked down at the couple�s enjoined hands, then at Hamilton again, frowning a little. "Where's Jake?"
"Uh, he's not feeling well," he said quickly, stifling a smile. "So he's just staying home for the night. Told me I should come anyway and take Jacqueline. She's a� um, mutual friend."
�Is that right?� Lena said, a hint of frostiness to her voice. �Poor Jake, holed up in his room while you two are down here enjoying the ball. Well,� she shrugged, looking over her shoulder, �I�ve got to go find my date. Have fun.�
�We will,� Hamilton grinned as Lena threw Jake a thoroughly mistrustful look and walked off. Turning back to his girlfriend, he leaned in and pecked her on the cheek. �See?� he said confidently, �no one will recognise you.�
She chuckled back, smoothing down her wig again.
Part Four
Will, Scout and Bella walked into the hall and promptly found themselves surrounded by a sea of masks. Quickly putting their own ones on, they pushed into the thick of the crowd, heading toward the refreshment tables. "I like your mask," Will said to Bella, glancing at her quickly.
She traced a finger over the delicate pale blue plumes that adorned the edge of her mask. "Thanks. Yours looks nice too."
It did, in fact. It was a standard mask, also in black, his blue eyes standing out startlingly against the dark tone. He smiled, and they fell into silence, looking at each other awkwardly. Despite the crowded hall and the throngs of people, it somehow felt as though they were the only inhabitants of this hall, acutely aware of each other�s every movement, the stillness between them, like sparks in the air.
Luckily, Scout interrupted. "Hey,� he said, �there's Hamilton over by the punch bowl. Who's that girl?"
Bella chuckled. "Look closer."
Scout and Will glanced at each other, confused, as the trio made their way toward Jake and Hamilton. "Hey,� Bella approached Jake, grinning. �You look gorgeous!"
"So do you," Jake replied, appearing to have become more comfortable with her disguise. "I knew that dress would be perfect on you."
Scout and Will greeted Hamilton before they turned to Jake. It took a moment for the situation to register, then their eyes bugged out in shock, quite comically, their jaws dropping simultaneously. "Oh my god!" they exclaimed in unison, " Ja�!"
Hamilton deftly clasped a hand over both their mouths. "Watch it, guys," he hissed, looking around nervously.
Scout and Will's eyes widened as they nodded. Hamilton let go and they crowded around Jake, spluttering quietly. "I can't believe it," Scout marvelled, looking Jake up and down.
"Is this�" Will lowered his voice, "a wig?"
Jake nodded, grinning at Hamilton.
"Looks really good," Bella commented. "Realistic, don�t you think?"
Jake chuckled. "Better than the blonde one you showed me, anyway."
Bella laughed just as the song overhead finished and Savage Garden's 'Truly Madly Deeply' struck up. Something in her expression shifted, and she glanced absently at Will before lowering her eyes, darting a quick, guilty look in Scout�s direction.
Meanwhile, Hamilton offered a hand to Jake. "May I have this dance?"
"Of course," she smiled, taking his hand. They moved away from the others, onto the edge of the dance floor, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning into his embrace with a contented sigh.
I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope I'll be your love be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do
I will be strong I will be faithful
cos I'm counting on a new beginning
A reason for living, a deeper meaning, yeah
"Would you like to dance?" Scout smiled at Bella hopefully.
�Um,� she said, inadvertently glancing at Will again. �Yeah, sure.�
�See you later, man,� Scout grinned to Will as he escorted Bella toward the dance floor. The other boy nodded, waving them on.
And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky
I'll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection
of the highest powers, in lonely hours, the tears devour you
Will leaned against a pillar and looked at the room full of dancing couples, shadows flitting through his eyes. Absently, he poured himself some punch and took a sip. "This stuff tastes awful," he mumbled, gulping it down, taking strange pleasure in the mistreatment. He poured another cup just as someone turned the corner and promptly bumped into him. �Hey, careful,� he said, turning to look into a beautiful face hidden behind a sculpted silver mask. �Caroline?� he asked, surprised.
�Sorry,� she steadied herself against the pillar, smoothing out her silver gown. �How are you, Will?�
"All right," he responded automatically. "You?"
"I'm okay," she replied, looking him up and down. "Who are you here with?"
He shrugged, slightly embarrassed. He was never comfortable with Caroline, not even when he was madly in love with her. "I�m, uh, just here by myself."
"Oh," she said, looking ill at ease.
�Um,� he said after a long pause, indicating the dance floor, �do you maybe wanna��
"Actually,� she answered quickly, �I have to, um, go find my date."
He nodded, feeling himself colour beneath his mask. "Right."
"Okay," she said, smiling awkwardly again before she walked away. Shaking his head, he gulped down his second glass of punch. "Great going, Krudski," he muttered, glancing at Bella and Scout, who seemed to be enjoying themselves out on the dance floor. He sighed and went back to the punch bowl.
***
"I can't believe I'm here,� Jake whispered into Hamilton�s ear. �Dancing with you, in a dress."
He turned and brushed his lips against the soft skin of her cheek. "I know. This is like a dream."
They swayed together, not speaking, simply enjoying the time spent together, the closeness of each other�s embrace.
"Thank you," she murmured.
"What for?"
"This. Everything. You." She trailed her fingers along the back of his neck, leaning in to kiss him softly.
I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I wanna lie like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me
Oh can you see it baby
Don't have to close your eyes
It's just standing right before you
And all that you need will surely come
***
Bella and Scout talked. More accurately, Scout talked, and Bella tried to focus on what he was saying without much success. The music was setting a particularly romantic mood for the entire hall, the dance floor was covered in swaying couples, and she could feel her palms growing damp as the situation became more and more clear to her that this was, indeed, not what she wanted. Her eyes scanned the room, not quite realising what she was looking for until disappointment welled up inside of her when she could not find a familiar lanky form, clad in black.
"Bella?" Scout murmured into her ear.
"Yeah?" she replied automatically, still looking around the hall.
"Is everything all right?� he asked, sounding concerned. �You've been quiet."
"Actually,� she paused. �I'm kinda thirsty." Anything to get out of this dance.
"Let�s go get something to drink, then," he smiled, ever the considerate gentleman. Drawing out of the dance floor, they went to the refreshment table where Bella filled a cup with punch and drank heartily to give the impression that she really was thirsty. But she made a face when she had finished. "This stuff tastes funny."
He looked at her and took a sip from his own cup. �It does,� he said, furrowing his brows and taking her cup from her hands. �I think it�s spiked, Bella.�
�Good to know even prep school kids pull stunts like this,� she raised an eyebrow, grinning.
�Maybe I should tell someone,� he wondered aloud, scanning the hall for chaperones.
�Yeah,� she said, pressing her fingers to her temple. �You know what? I don�t really drink, and I feel a little dizzy already. I think I'll go sit down."
"Are you feeling okay?" he asked, a worry line emerging between his brows.
"I'll be fine in a few minutes," she assured him. "Go tell someone about the punch."
"I don't want to leave you here alone," he replied anxiously.
"It's okay, Scout," she smiled. "Go. I won't disappear."
"Okay," he agreed reluctantly. "I'll be right back." She nodded and he set off, still glancing over his shoulder.
***
"Excuse me," a tall boy tapped on Hamilton's shoulder. "May I cut in?"
"No," Hamilton growled, barely turning around.
The guy looked taken aback. "Hey, sorry man," he said, backing away. �I didn�t mean to, uh��
"Hamilton," Jake chided, "that was really rude." Smiling at the guy, she disengaged herself from her boyfriend�s grasp. "Of course it�s fine."
"What are you doing?" Hamilton hissed, aghast.
"Hamilton, you're here with 'Jacqueline, a good friend',� she hissed back. �You don�t want people to start thinking that you're cheating on me. Uh,� she blinked, �I mean, me the guy."
�I guess�� he said dubiously. She smiled at him, playfully ruffling his hair before she turned to the other boy, accepting his offer to dance. Hamilton was left stranded on the dance floor, looking around in a state of mild indignation and bemusement.
Sure, Jake had a point, but it didn�t mean that he had to be happy about it. Before he could walk off, however, someone grabbed him by the arm. �Hey!�
�Lena?� he turned around and smiled. �What�s up?�
"What do you think you're doing?" Lena demanded, still holding onto his arm.
He furrowed his brows. "What are you talking about?"
"I saw you kissing that girl, Jacqueline," she said, her tone accusatory.
Hamilton tried not to smile, but Lena saw his lips twitch and mistook it for silent acknowledgement. She narrowed her eyes angrily. "Hamilton, what's up with you? Are you bi? Even if you are, it's not an excuse."
"Um," he tried to interrupt, still fighting down a smile.
"You're a lying, cheating jerk," she fumed, talking right over him. "Don't you even care about how Jake feels? God, he's sick and you don't stay behind to look after him, which is pretty inconsiderate already, and now you're sticking your tongue down some girl's throat while you're here?" Shaking her head in disbelief, she backed away from him. "God, I'd love to slap you, but I'll leave that up to Jake when he finds out!"
�Lena�� he tried again to get a word in.
�Save it, Hamilton,� she spat out, storming off, leaving him standing on the dance floor with a most interesting expression on his face.
***
"So, do you go to Rawley Girls?" the guy asked Jake as they danced.
"Um," she paused. "Sort of." He gave her a strange look and she laughed nervously. �I mean, yeah, I do.�
"I don't think I saw you at the Cotillion," he said.
"Um, no, I came here after summer vacation,� she replied quickly. �This is my first year."
"Oh, so you're a sophomore?� he asked. �Do you know my sister, Leah Rickard? I'm Gareth, by the way."
She frowned and acted as if she was trying to remember. "I don't think I know her."
He raised his eyebrows. "That's interesting. She's usually so loud people can't miss her. She�s the redhead, you know, the one with the dreadlocks?"
"I, uh,� she shrugged, �keep to myself."
He nodded, and they kept dancing. "So, I�ve told you my name�" he said, his tone lightly teasing.
"Oh, sorry,� she smiled. �I�m Jacqueline."
"So� you're just 'Jacqueline', or do you have a last name as well?" he grinned good-naturedly.
She barely had time to bite back an instinctive �Pratt�. Her brain churning furiously, she grappled for the first name that popped into her head. "Fleming! Jacqueline Fleming."
He looked surprised. "Fleming? Are you related to the Dean?"
"Uh, no, no,� she stumbled over her words, wanting to chew off her tongue. �Um, it's a common name."
Luckily, at that moment she was rescued by Hamilton, who smoothly cut into the dance, whisking her away from Gareth. Once they were safely away from the other boy�s earshot he grinned at her, "Jacqueline Fleming, huh?"
"Shut up," she moaned, burying her face in his shoulder.
"Jacqueline Fleming," he repeated, smirking. "I like it."
�Stop it,� she punched him on the arm, grinning. As the walked off the dance floor they found Bella sitting at the refreshment table. "Hey," Jake touched her on the shoulder, "where's Scout and Will?"
"Scout went to find a teacher," Bella replied, swatting at Jake as the other girl reached for the punch bowl. "Don't drink that, it's spiked."
�Betcha anything it was Ryder,� Jake said as she pulled back, glancing around suspiciously.
�Probably,� Hamilton agreed, smiling at her. �So, how about another dance?�
Jake glanced at Bella, unsure. �Um, do you mind?�
�Go, have fun,� Bella smiled at her friend, but her gaze was already shifting, capturing a familiar lone shadow wandering past the veranda. "Excuse me, you guys," she said hurriedly as she stood up, making her way toward the French doors and taking her mask off as she went. Jake and Hamilton looked at her retreating figure and shrugged at each other, joining hands and returning to the dance floor.
Part Five
"Will?" called Bella, hurrying after the dark figure moving away from the hall, down the path and walking onto the lake bank. "Will, stop!"
He turned, then, swaying unsteadily on the spot. He had taken his mask off, and up close she could see that he was flushed, his eyes glazed over. "Hey Bella," he grinned broadly, squinting at her. "How ya doin�?"
�Oh god, Will,� she moaned as she grabbed him by the arm. "How much of that punch did you drink?" Escorting him to a bench near the lake, she sat down at the edge of it, looking up at him worriedly.
He followed suit, sticking his long legs out in front of him and sliding halfway down the seat. Looking as though he was seriously contemplating her question, he began counting on his fingers. "Uh,� he murmured, looking self-amused, �four� five�" A little disconcerted when he ran out of fingers on one hand, he seemed to forget entirely about the other hand and instead held up both feet, counting, "� six� seven. Seven cups," he announced finally, looking pleased with himself and putting his feet back on the ground.
"God, Will, it was spiked!" she exclaimed as she surveyed him. "And it tasted like crap! Why did you keep drinking?"
�I was miserable, Bella,� he said, and his tone would have been earnest had he not been grinning widely at the same time, his gaze slipping in and out of focus as he looked at her. �But the punch made that go away� so that counted as a good in my book��
She bit her lip, looking at him silently, feeling her throat become bone-dry. A sudden wind swept across the lake and she shivered in her dress, which was hardly more than a fancy slip. He blinked and, registering this even in his intoxicated state, shrugged out of his suit jacket. He presented it to her with a flourish, still smiling broadly.
"Thank you," she took it and put it on, trying not to focus on the disconcerting familiar smell of him, a faint clean scent of soap with mossy undertones, as though he�d been taking long walks out in the woods. "Will, you should get inside," she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself. "It's cold out here."
"The cold's good for the soul!" he laughed, shaking his head. Faint strains of music floated down from the hall and he leapt up, extending his hand. "Come on, Bella, dance with me." Without waiting for an answer he pulled her to her feet and swung her around, his unnaturally harsh and merry laughter breaking the quiet of the night.
"Stop, Will, you're making me dizzy," she protested as she teetered on the slippery grass, trying to keep balance on her thin heels, "Will, stop! Please!" Gasping as he halted suddenly, she crashed into him, her nose colliding with his chest and she shrank back, half pained and half embarrassed. By reflex he wrapped his arms around her waist, and she looked up at him, fighting back a sharp intake of breath as their gazes locked.
The freezing night air suddenly felt like cool, damp velvet, and the moonlight washed over them, like silver molasses. The lake was lapping against shore, softly, the sound of it at the same time muted and magnified as she stared into the penetrating blue of his eyes.
"You're so beautiful, Bella," he whispered, and by now his words had lost all the boisterousness, falling to a soft murmur, earnest and almost a little awed. "You are so� beautiful," he repeated, dragging the syllables out. "Did I ever tell you that?" Without waiting for her answer he laughed and shook his head. "Of course not."
She stared into the unfathomable depths of his eyes, and was silent.
"Bella," he said, pronouncing the name carefully, as though by saying it out loud he was performing some sort of ritual, invoking an ancient magic. Raising a hand to touch her cheek, he whispered, again, "Bella�"
His finger traced her jawline, and her heart leaped, thumping with a ferocious beat in her temples as she watched him lean in toward her, closer and closer still. Her breath hitched in her throat and she could feel the heat of his hand on her face, the coldness of the night, the quiet burst of electricity that seemed to run over her skin.
Then, she saw his eyes suddenly become unglazed, and a sharp cold light gathered behind them, like a lens focusing. He gave a startled jerk and drew back, a dull blush flaring in his cheeks. "Oh god," he muttered, looking away frantically. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry�"
"Will," she whispered.
For a moment his tortured gaze met hers and it seemed like things could have gone a different way; something that was simple and frightening and at the same time more complicated than she could ever have dreamed. But then he averted his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said again, his voice a low mumble, before he turned and ran, slipping over the grass damp with evening dew, blindly, without direction or purpose other than getting away from her.
She stood there on the bank, fingers gingerly touching the spot on her cheek where his hand had brushed by and set it on fire.
***
�Did I mention you look so hot?� Hamilton whispered into Jake�s ear, grinning.
She smiled back, kissing him lightly on the side of the mouth. �You don�t look so bad yourself.�
He chuckled and was about to reply when a blond boy squeezed past the crowds of people, planting himself in front of them with his arms crossed over his chest. Hamilton peered at his masked face, furrowing his brows. "Ryan Parker?"
Ryan was a classmate of theirs from Finn�s English class. He nodded curtly and grabbed Hamilton by the arm. "Excuse us," he said to Jake as he pulled Hamilton into a corner of the hall.
"What's up, Ryan?" Hamilton asked, mystified.
Ryan ignored his question. "I came with Lena. You know her, right?"
�Yeah�?� Hamilton said slowly, bewildered.
"She's really upset," Ryan continued, glowering. "Because apparently you've been cheating on Jake. With a girl." He glanced surreptitiously toward Jake, who looked like she was trying to eavesdrop nonchalantly. He turned back to Hamilton, "What's wrong with you, man? How could you do this to Jake?"
"Uh�� Hamilton muttered, �Jacqueline's just a friend�"
"And you guys were making out right there on the dance floor,� Ryan snapped. �I think we can round up at least a hundred witnesses."
"God, Ryan, it's complicated, all right?� Hamilton pressed a hand to his forehead and groaned. �Just drop it."
"Look, Fleming,� Ryan seethed, looking as though he wanted to grab the other boy by the collar. �I always thought you were a decent guy. I guess I was wrong. Jake's sick, and you don't even care enough about his feelings to just skip the damn ball! So you show up, and you�"
"Hey," Jake interrupted, stepping in front of Hamilton, "what are you doing?"
"This doesn�t concern you," Ryan said coldly. "Please get out of the way, Miss� uh� Jacqueline."
"It does concern me!" Jake exclaimed hotly. "Look, I don't know why you guys are so interested in other people's love lives, but that's private between Hamilton and me�" Hamilton poked her in the back and she hastened to add, "� and Jake."
"Look, I don�t know what you�re playing at," Ryan fumed. �Both of you. But Jake deserves better than this, all right? He deserves better."
"Believe me when I say I�m not arguing that point," Jake said, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips.
Ryan set his jaw and glared at her. "So what are you doing here?"
"Please, Ryan, just trust me on this," Hamilton said. "Jake�s completely aware of everything here. I�m not going behind his back at all. You can check it out with him if you like." Glancing at Jake quickly, he added, "Uh, tomorrow."
Ryan gazed from one masked face to the other. "I don't get it," he admitted, " But I guess there are things that I don't understand. Just," he punched Hamilton's arm gruffly as he walked away, "don't hurt Jake, okay?"
"I won't," Hamilton promised, smiling. Sharing a bemused chuckle with Jake, they stepped aside as Scout pushed through the crowd, followed closely by Finn. As they stopped by the punch bowl, Finn extended a hand toward Jake with a warm smile. �I don�t believe we�ve met before, Miss��
�Uh, I gotta pee,� said Jake, and fled, leaving a befuddled Finn staring after her. Scout and Hamilton looked at each other, trying to hold in their laughter.
***
Will and Scout's room
Will leaned over his dresser, resting his head against the mirror, his eyes clenched shut.
"What have I done?" he murmured, feeling his mind growing clearer by the minute. "Oh god, what have I done?"
A knock sounded on his door, and he bowed his head, remaining silent. The knock came again, more insistently this time, and he glanced toward it, irritated. �What?�
The heavy mahogany door swung open to reveal Bella standing in the doorway, backlit by the soft golden light from the hallway sconces. He froze, his lips parting soundlessly.
"Why do you always run away from me?" she asked, walking into the room and closing the door behind her.
He took an instinctive step backward, pressing back against the windowsill. "Because I have to," he replied, licking his dry lips.
She walked forward, tentatively, her eyes trained on him. "You can't run away from this."
He swallowed and looked away.
"After you've held me in your arms and told me that I looked beautiful, you run away from me. You left me there." She continued to walk toward him, her multi-coloured gaze fastened on his, simultaneously beautiful and unnerving. "You can't do that to me, Will."
"I� I was drunk," he mumbled.
She shook her head impatiently. "That's not enough."
He looked at her, biting down on his lower lip. With a sigh she came to a stop, standing alone in the middle of the room, folding her arms across her chest as though cold. �It�s not an excuse,� she said softly. �You are always responsible for what you do."
He stared at her, mutely, feeling the words - all the painful and beautiful words that he had meant to say to her, sooner or later - choke up in his throat.
"Damn it, Will,� she said, looking down sadly. �Why are you doing this to me? Why can't you just�"
"I can't!" he interrupted vehemently. "Don't you see? I can't do it to my best friends. I just can't do this to them!"
"It�s not about them!" she cried. "It was never about them! It's about you! You would never let them get hurt, not if you could help it."
�Yeah,� he said, his voice hoarse. �So you see, we can never��
"But you're forgetting something," she interrupted, her voice a mere whisper. "You're forgetting about me."
"I never forget about you, Bella," he said hotly, meeting her eyes. Downstairs at the ball, Radiohead�s �True Love Waits� began to play, and they could hear the gentle strumming of an acoustic guitar as the music wove its way into the air, the sound of it melancholic but hopeful.
"But you have," she said stubbornly. "If you haven't, you would have seen what I've been trying to tell you."
His eyes widened, for a moment looking as though he could barely comprehend what he was hearing. "What have you been trying to tell me?" he whispered, taking a step forward.
She just looked at him, her fingers absently worrying the gauzy fabric of her dress.
He took another step, his breathing jagged. "Bella� what are you saying?"
I'll drown my beliefs
To have you be in peace
I'll dress like your niece
And wash your swollen feet
Just don't leave
Don't leave
"Exactly what you've been trying not to tell me," she said, her gaze flickering briefly downward, a pink stain creeping across her cheekbones.
He took another halting step toward her and they stood facing each other, staring into each other's eyes, uncertain of the boundaries that they have crossed and might still cross. "Tell me what that is," he demanded.
"No,� she said. �You tell me."
I'm not living
I'm just killing time
Your tiny hands
Your crazy kitten smile
Just don't leave
Don't leave
He closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them he saw that she was trembling a little under his suit jacket, which hung too loosely off her slender frame, as though she were enveloped inside somebody�s arms.
"Bella, you're my oldest friend," he began, reaching out in spite of himself, placing a finger under her chin to tilt her head up, so that she could look him full in the eye.
"You were my friend and I've always loved you for it," he continued, his voice shaking. "But�"
Her bottom lip quivered and she blinked rapidly, looking as though she was trying to hold her tears back.
"I've always loved you," he whispered. "But now I'm in love with you."
"Oh, Will," she managed to choke out as she pulled him down to her, their lips meeting in a kiss that mingled with her tears.
His mouth moved over hers, searching for something that he had been trying to find for so long. She wrapped her arms around his neck while he gathered her into an embrace, kissing her hungrily, finally admitting that he was not able to let her go. Even after all the pain that he had tried to inflict upon himself, even with all the guilt and the fear, he couldn't leave her. He had finally given in, after so much deliberation and self-loathing, and he was still here, kissing her like there was no tomorrow. And in that moment he couldn't give a damn about Sean, about Scout, about his betrayal and the inevitable aftermath� all that he could think of Bella! And Bella! And Bella! And how good it felt to finally have her in his arms�
And true love waits
In haunted attics
And true love lives
On lollipops and crisps
Just don't leave
Don't leave
Jake rested her head against Hamilton's shoulder. "I love you," she whispered.
"I love you too," he whispered back, smiling.
Just don't leave
Don't leave
The throngs of people inside the hall shifted and breathed, swaying in couples, content inside each other�s embrace. But off to one side, Scout looked around, confused and alone. And unbeknownst to him, Will and Bella stood in the middle of his room and kissed each other tenderly, revelling in this newfound love, an innocence that sprung from betrayal.
Part Six
Will and Scout's room
Will's eyes flew open very suddenly.
The sun's glaring rays bounced off his mirror and struck him full in the face. He groaned, feeling the after effects of the spiked punch.
"Morning!" Scout exclaimed cheerfully, walking into the room, wearing only a towel and dripping water all over the floor. "You're finally awake."
"What time is it?" Will croaked, holding a hand to his pounding head.
"Noon," Scout grinned. "Don't worry, it's Saturday. Are you okay? Last night I came back from the ball and you were already asleep. You must've passed out from the punch or something."
There was a split-second of blankness, then Will's eyes widened as everything flew back into his head, the events of last night crystallising in his mind like a jigsaw made from jagged glass. �Bella,� he murmured, before he glanced sharply at Scout, biting down on his lip.
"I took her home after the ball,� Scout said quizzically. �Why, is something wrong?"
"Uh�� Will couldn't bring himself to meet the other boy�s eyes. �Where was she?"
Scout raised an eyebrow, "How did you know I lost her for a while?"
"Um,� Will cleared his throat nervously. �She was looking for you."
"Oh,� Scout shrugged. �She came and found me at the end of the ball. Coming to think of it, she was acting pretty strange� she�d been quiet all evening. D�you know if something was wrong?"
"No," Will said as he rolled out of bed, pulling on a pair of jeans and a sweater. "Uh� Scout, I've gotta go."
The other boy furrowed his brows. "Where are you going? We don�t have class."
"I need to, um, do something." Will mumbled vaguely, stumbling to the door. Without waiting for a response he dashed out, rubbing a hand over his face as he ran.
"All right," Scout said to the door, looking baffled.
***
The Rawley grounds were unusually quiet that morning, as Jake and Hamilton found out when they lounged under the big oak in the middle of campus, playing with the dogs. It would seem that everyone was worn out from the ball.
"Ah," Jake sighed contentedly as she stretched her arms over her head, then fell over sideways onto the soft grass. "It's good being a guy again."
"Really?" he glanced at her, surprised.
"It was great being in a dress and out with you in public," she said meditatively. "But it was really nerve-racking, trying to remember to act like a girl who wasn't really me."
"Huh?" he looked lost.
She smiled, reaching over to ruffle his hair. "I was 'Jacqueline Fleming, your good friend', not your girlfriend, and I always had to remember to keep my voice squeaky. It was weird."
"The whole night was weird," Scout agreed, coming up the path from the dorms. Jake and Hamilton scooted over, making room as he sat down. "I spent most of the night wandering around, trying to find Bella."
"Yeah," Jake murmured. "She showed up later though."
"Did you guys�� Scout said pensively. �Did you think she looked kinda different? Was she acting weird? I thought she was acting a little weird. She�s so hard to read these days."
Jake and Hamilton looked at each other and shrugged, swivelling around as they heard a voice call their names. Lena and Ryan were walking toward them, hand in hand. �Hey,� Lena called again as she came up to them, �Jake, how are you? I was worried about you yesterday.�
With that she gave Hamilton a reproving glare, which he pretended not to notice. Jake fought back a smile. �I�m fine,� she said. �I was just having an off day."
"We missed you at the Ball," Ryan added, looking askance at Hamilton.
Jake nodded, keeping a straight face. "Did you have a good time?"
"Yeah." Lena smiled before she added meaningfully, "Some people had an especially good time."
Jake glanced at Hamilton and Scout, who looked as though they were about to crack up. "Oh, um,� she played dumb, �that's nice."
"So�" Ryan looked as though he was trying to choose his words carefully. "This Jacqueline� she's a mutual friend of yours?"
Hamilton raised his brows. "She's a very good friend. We love her."
"Um, yeah�"Jake took his hand and grinned self-consciously.
Lena and Ryan glanced at each other and shrugged.
***
Bella's room
Bella leaned back against the headboard of her bed, staring blankly into space. Grace was out for the day, leaving her to the emptiness of the room and, more importantly, the blissful confusion of all that had transpired the night before. Once in a while, her eyes would travel to the mask that lay discarded on her desk, and the blue dress that hung off a wire hanger on the back of the door.
She could feel herself blushing as she replayed the memories over and over again, like a tape loop in her head, certain details coming into sharper focus as she examined and re-examined them. Drawing her legs up and resting her chin on her knees, she sighed contentedly, fighting back a smile.
Suddenly, her door flew open and Will barged into the room, not bothering to knock. "Will!" she exclaimed, sliding off the bed, a tentative grin breaking over her face. �Hey, you.�
"Hi," he said shortly, avoiding her eyes.
She could feel her smile fading. "What's up?"
He closed the door behind him and leaned back on it, taking a deep breath before he lifted his eyes and looked straight at her, his expression solemn.
"What's wrong, Will?" she asked softly, her heart beating an erratic tattoo against her chest, bringing with it a sense of foreboding.
"Us," he replied.
She swallowed. "What?"
"We can't do this, Bella," he shook his head sadly, looking away again. "I� I can't do it."
"Wh� what are you talking about?" she murmured, feeling as if the floor had been pulled out from underneath her feet. The sunlight that poured in through the windows was suddenly cold as ice.
*Dido's 'Here with Me' plays*
"Last night," he muttered, his eyes obstinately remaining on the floor, "last night was a mistake."
"How can you say that?" she asked in a stunned whisper, and it felt as though she was dissolving into mist. How could he say that, after what they'd been through, lost and then found?
I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory
"It was the spur of the moment," he swallowed with difficulty. "And it was wrong. I see that now."
"No!" she exclaimed, her voice shaking. "It wasn't wrong! And it wasn't just something that grabbed us despite our better judgement! It had always been there, Will, you can�t deny it�"
"I can," he said softly, looking at her. "I have to."
"God," she cried, feeling tears well up behind her eyes. "It always ends up like this, doesn�t it? Why do you always have to make life so difficult for yourself? There�s something between us, something that could be amazing if we could just let it happen, but you just won�t let it� maybe you can�t�"
"I can't do this to Scout and Sean," he said, his voice shaking. "I just can't do this to them, don't you see? I can�t be that friend, the one who betrays their trust and takes them away from what they want�"
She just looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears.
"What about me?" she whispered. "Will, what about me?"
Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
He stared at her, the words choking in his throat.
"Don't you love me?" she said, softly, so quietly he could hardly hear her.
He bit down on his lip, and was silent. She took a tentative step toward him. "Will�"
"No, don't," he said, his voice breaking. Lifting his eyes again to hers, he felt the anguish of the moment hit him like an arrow to the chest, the disappointment in her gaze, the undisguised longing. "I'm sorry," he said, and that was all he could get out before he had to turn away, grasping the door handle and wrenching it open with a force that surprised him, seeing everything through the blur of hot tears.
"Will!" she cried after him, her voice high and desperate. "I love you!"
The door swung shut behind him. She could hear the heavy sound of footsteps thudding down the stairs.
I won't go, I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave, I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me
She stood there in the middle of the room, the emptiness of it pressing down on her with a cold viscosity, a liquid intensity, and it felt like drowning. She felt tears on her face, but she hadn�t realised that she was crying.
I don't want to call my friends
They might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's been
The door swung open again, and she looked up with a gasp as Will strode back into the room and grabbed her by the shoulders, his fingers pressing painfully into her flesh, but she didn�t care or even notice because he was looking at her with such fire in his eyes, such suffering, an overwhelming sense of astonishment, perhaps even at himself. "God, I can't leave," he whispered.
She looked at him, eyes wide with frenzied hope. Her mouth opened, but no words came out.
"I love you, Bella," he murmured, "screw everything else."
And he kissed her.
Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
She clung to him, kissing him back, crying and laughing at the same time. And now, she knew that he was here for good. Like he said, screw everything. He came back to her, and he was kissing her, and he wasn't going to let her go.
"I tried�" he mumbled, drawing a shuddering breath, but she silenced him by pulling him to her, closer, deeper.
�I know,� she murmured against his lips. �I know.�
I won't go, I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave, I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me
*Will's voiceover begins*
'Halloween is the night when you can put on a mask and hide behind it, or rip your mask off and stand exposed before the world. Either way, you're facing a part of yourself that you usually shy away from facing, and that�s the real challenge. Halloween holds so many tricks, and it's so hard to see what�s real and what is simply make-believe. So who do you trust? Which masked face do you turn to? And can you truly deal with yourself and what you've discovered during the night, when darkness turns to light and All Hallows� Eve turns to All Saints� Day? Halloween serves us because it is the one night in which anything out of the ordinary can happen, but what about what happens afterward? Halloween night may change our lives, but it is ultimately us who have to learn to live with the consequences.'
And the consequences? What are they? He thought incoherently as he wrapped his arms around Bella's waist, gathering her to him, kissing her as though he planned on never letting go.
I don't care, his heart sang out, I don't care anymore.
I have her.
The End
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