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THE |
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DO'S AND DON'TS |
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OF |
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LIVING |
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IN A |
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ZOMBIE WORLD |
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DO: |
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| DO USE ZOMBIES AS BOWLING PINS |
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| DO USE YOUR PICK-UP TRUCK AS THE BOWLING BALL |
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| DO SET FIRE TO ZOMBIES AND BET ON WHICH ONE DIES FIRST |
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| DO BET ON ZOMBIE RACING - BUT ONLY WHEN IN INTERNATIONAL WATERS |
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| DO DRESS ZOMBIES UP AS GHOSTS AND PLAY TRICK OR TREAT JOKES ON YOUR NEIGHBOURS |
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| DO USE A ZOMBIE AS A DARTBOARD |
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Zombie Bowling |
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| DO SHOOT THE ZOMBIES IN THEIR HEADS IF YOU WANT TO KILL THEM, NOT IN THE BOLLOCKS NO MATTER HOW TEMPTING |
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| DO TEACH YOUR PET ZOMBIE HOW TO DRINK SHOTS OF VODKA |
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Zombie Car Jack |
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| DO BEAT YOUR PET ZOMBIE AT VODKA SHOTS, OTHERWISE YOU?RE A WUSS! |
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| DO PRETEND TO BE A ZOMBIE WHEN IN A STICKY SITUATION TO ESCAPE |
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| DO FART IN THE PRESENCE OF A ZOMBIE AND OTHER COMPANY AS YOU ARE BOUND TO GET AWAY WITH IT |
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Zombie Coffee Table |
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DON'T: |
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| DON'T USE A ZOMBIE AS A COFFEE TABLE, YOUR MOCHA IS BOUND TO GET SPILT |
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| DON'T PLAY ZOMBIE SKITTLES, ZOMBIES ARE PEOPLE TOO, BUT IT IS ALL RIGHT FOR ANY OTHER GAMES |
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Zombie Light Bulb |
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| DON'T SUNBATHE IN THE MIDDLE OF ZOMBIE CENTRAL, YOU'RE CRUISIN' FOR A BRUISIN'! |
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| DON'T USE ZOMBIES AS CHEAP LABOUR TO BUILD YOURSELF A NEW HOME, THEY ARE WORSE THAN COWBOY BUILDERS |
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| DON'T SMOKE THEM A KIPPER, AS THEY'D RATHER HAVE SMOKED YOU |
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| REMEMBER A ZOMBIE ISN'T JUST FOR CHRISTMAS, IT'S FOR LIFE, SO DON'T BUY A NINE-YEAR-OLD A ZOMBIE AS A PET! |
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| DON'T ALLOW A ZOMBIE TO BABYSIT FOR YOU |
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| DON'T PRACTICE YOUR HAIRSTYLING TECHNIQUES ON A ZOMBIE, FOR SOME REASON THEY DON'T LIKE IT |
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| WHEN PRETENDING TO BE A ZOMBIE IN ORDER TO ESCAPE THEIR DINNER TABLE, DON'T PRETEND TO NOT LIKE HUMAN FLESH, IT'S A DEAD GIVEAWAY! |
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| DON'T SPILL YOUR BEER IN THE GUN CHAMBER WHEN HUNTIN' ZOMBIES! |
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| DON'T MISTAKE A WHORE FOR A ZOMBIE, IT COULD RESULT IN PROSECUTION, OR DEATH |
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| DON'T USE A ZOMBIE AS A JUDGE IN A COURT OF LAW |
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| DON'T USE A ZOMBIE AS YOUR PROSECUTION WITNESS |
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| DON'T POKE FUN AT A ZOMBIE'S SIZE OF SCARRING, THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO - JUST DEAD ONES WALKING |
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| DON'T TEACH A ZOMBIE TO DO THE SALSA, IT'S BOUND TO END IN TEARS |
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DON'T FART IN AN ELEVATOR FULL OF ZOMBIES, THEY ARE QUITE PARTICULAR WHEN IT COMES TO FLATULENCE! |
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| AND THE BIGGEST DON'T OF THEM ALL - DON'T BRUSH A ZOMBIE'S TEETH AS YOU WILL EITHER END UP WITH NO HAND OR HIS OTHER ZOMBIE FRIENDS WILL LAUGH AT HIM |
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