| August 16 2002 Over? You wake up slow You need to know Just where it is you go From here � between love and friends You find a friend A new one to the end? She helps you out � she will defend Against the pain you drown in everyday You find the truth � just what to do You�re over �you know who� And now you feel what you want to Feel happy, content � free from the weight You close a chapter in your life You�re free from strife But then you feel the cold knife She is there � consumed by that guy The guy who did this before You should have guessed this was in store As your head throbs and becomes so sore Your heart � ripped out � dead on the ground When she�s not there � you�re over her But then you see her and it�s like murder What do you feel? You�re no longer sure You are and then you�re not Why won�t it die? It could at least let you cry But instead all you can do is sigh As always you take it and again Again � live with the sorrow The sorrow you had nearly escaped But you say okay You shared end of era congratulations for the whole day today And for brief moment, she was close to you again � what could you say? The bad that comes with the good Just end it End it Plea Why won�t she leave? Get out of my head! Or wear a mask So I could pretend It wasn�t her Just to escape Now I�m alone � in dark In quiet Stranded and fading Heart ripped out Blood drained thin He was a friend He knows how I feel About her Yet again He�s with THE girl Why? Why did and does this happen? Bring me out of it Out of the hole so I can �Kill� myself Become new - refreshed Gouge out my eyes Tear of my skin So I could not see And could not feel For so long � what I�ve needed Is help with it I Just Don�t Know Oh what to do, what to do? Where to go? How to say it, or understand it How to make sense of all the shit And bury it once and for all Six feet under � let it rot at last But I keep clinging Clinging to hope? Dreams? Or sadness? It�s all and more More and more comes � as always It�s the same repeating And now I am used to it I just don�t know What to do Where to go How to say it How to feel Or what to think I�m just in limbo Passing from one to another Like sad, old ragged doll Desert Island Drifting alone So far from home Drifting alone Hoping to see her Just one more time All you want is her Cold and fading You cling on to hope As you lie cold and fading There will be sun And you pray to be warm As you�re told there will be sun Yet dark clouds overhead loom And familiar shivers set in As those dark clouds loom Pitter patter of rainfall down Clouds my groggy head Always the noise of the rainfall down Tense breaths and stumbled words Quivers of oh-so-familiar Those soft and stumbled words Dull thud of pen to paper The life is written down Relived in world of pen to paper Fascination Creeping around the party Ducking and diving Through music, drink and hysterics Pass the garage and enter the kitchen Where group play drunken games Truth or dare The usual choice Followed by the usual questions Bombarded with the spree I falter and glance around Have you kissed? Have you scored? Are you still a virgin? I dart around the room My eyes searching for exit Why am I so set back? Why am I torn to pieces Analysed in front of my peers I would and could not share With those I do not trust And this was the emotional depth As far as it went No heart-wrenched one to ones No help in face to face Nothing to break me from my child Minimal This Another smile Another laugh Another fleeing hug One more please I love your smile And you�re the comfort I need I want out of my prison shell All others are frolicking But I am still stuck here To feel release To advance my prestige Oh how I would break out Bust free from my abode To world where emotion is felt and shared To the swirling relationships To find something new To see and feel what I need What I cry for everyday I want to live I want to die I want more than minimal this The Wound Still Shows The girl She batters me Spins me around And upside down I cry out For her to stop But she keeps coming back Back and back and back She thinks That she is out of my head Yet she still echoes And I don�t know why She acts More like the girl I knew Knew before I spoke Spoke those explosive words I will remain in silence And attach plaster to patch My rotten wound The wound which once were my heart Dreaming Through Her I watched from afar As you left the door ajar And the light flooded out You run and I shout Slipping down hall so dark You slowly disappear and leave your mark Thoughtless is how I stand Slouched and crooked, blood on my hand The curtains draw between us What are we doing to the both of us? As you set sail And I falter and fail I dream of you all the time How I smile when you shine How you touched me � threw down your heart I wanted you � how could I take part? I screamed and cried Broke down and died Wept for I was all alone Trying to relive your voice�s tone Now we part, I go back in the earth We reacquaint for all it�s worth But I still feel � still remember How it is to be the only burning ember |