Chapter 6
Nickolas,
I do not understand why you are acting this way. Maybe you would know a little bit more about my life if you would ask me when you call. Instead, you tell me how you can’t take being this far away from me and not knowing my life. I understand that this is new to us. I also understand that you miss me, and I miss you too. But, this is making this hard for me and you are just upsetting yourself. I do know that you are jumping to conclusions. Baby, you have no reason to be insecure or worry about what I am doing here - you should know better than to think that after all of the shit I have given you for things you have done during this relationship. You should know by now that I love you and I want this to work, I wouldn‘t have stood by you through the times you have hurt me...you just have to let me show you that I guess and maybe try to have a little faith in me and our love. Right now, I honestly don’t know what to do to make it better. I go thru my day, feeling happy...then I get home to a slew of angry messages and emails that are the same. You know, I haven’t even checked my messages or my email since the other day because I didn’t want to deal with it? You are making me want to push you away and I wish I wasn’t doing this but I do not like the way you are acting. Please try and be more mature about this, you know that all the way you are acting does is make it worse. I am sure that you have talked to Brian by now and he told you the same thing, listen to him...he knows me and our relationship well.
If you want to come visit me as a boyfriend that just wants to spend time with his girlfriend and show her that he loves her, like the Nick I love, then do it. If you are going to come here as the jealous asshole you have been, then don’t bother. It is up to you...you are the only one that has control over the way you act. Please think about that before you decide, because if you are going to start fighting with me and interrogating me then I don’t want you here.
I do love you Nicky but you are making this so much harder than it has to be.
Missing the real you,
Britty Beth
Nick sighed as he reread the email. He knew in his heart that she was right. But still, he wasn’t sure if he could go to Austin as the man she needed for him to be. By the same token, he knew that it would make it better for him if he could at least see where she lived and spend time with her in the new place. He could have a visual. Britt was right, he didn’t have to worry about her going off with another guy. That was a biggie with her, plus, Nick had almost killed their relationship by doing it once before so he knew she wouldn‘t be a hypocrite and do it herself.
**FLASHBACK** - 2 Years ago...
“Britt, we need to talk,” Nick whispered softly. They were sitting outside of the pool at his house with their legs dipped in the pool.
She looked at him as if she knew what he was going to say, tears were already apparent in her eyes, yet she remained eerily calm on the outside. In an even voice, Britt stated plainly, “We don’t need to talk, you need to tell me what you did.”
In a whisper, he replied, “I think we already both know what happened.”
Silence hung in the air, the tension was so much that you could cut it with a knife. “I need to hear it from you Nick, the truth would be refreshing,” she whispered.
“While I was on tour I did something that I am not proud of...” Nick paused and looked Britt, who was now staring at him. He couldn’t look her in the eyes and say what he needed to say, looking down, he finished, “I met this girl, and believe me, she didn’t mean anything to me...”
Interupting, Britt said, “Did you sleep with her?”
Finally facing her with tears in his eyes, Nick nodded. “I thought I knew you better than that Nick...I thought you loved me-”
“No...Britty...it isn’t like that...I do love you its just” he struggled to find words.
The sadness left Britt as she blew up. “Its what Nick? You wanted a piece of ass? You know what? I am so glad I didn’t give my virginity to you, especially now that you went off and did this. And you wonder why I won’t sleep with you...its obvious that you don’t need love to do that and I do. I think that we are just too different. There are things that I need in a relationship that I don’t think you can give me.”
“NO!!! Don’t say that, I messed up and I am sorry, please don’t leave me,” he said with desperation and sobs, he took her hands into his and stared into her eyes, “its not about sex with you and you should know that. I would wait forever for you. I can give you what you need, please give me another chance.”
Looking down and dropping Nick’s hands, with a sigh she whispered, “I understand that you got lonely...I did too Nick, but I didn’t go find someone else. I just thought that I was more important to you than that. I thought that our relationship meant more to you than sex with a stranger. I just need a little time.”
Chapter 7
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