The feeling was something that she couldn’t explain to herself, much less anyone else. Nick had assumed that it was about him and her, and the fact that she didn’t know how they would get back to normal. Jordan was curious as to what she would do, whether or not she would finish in Austin or go on with Nick like he wanted. AJ’s feelings were a bit simpler, he just wanted Britt to be alright and he was eyeing Nick like a hawk, almost as if he was trying to be there to prevent him from doing or saying the wrong thing. Britt shared these feelings with her loved ones, however, it went a bit further for her. For one, she was confused. She didn’t understand how she was feeling because she had never felt this way before. Britt was depressed, plain and simple. Many things plagued her mind; she felt like it was her fault that she was raped, afterall, she was supposed to be with Nick in Las Vegas and she had let peer pressure persuade her otherwise. Someplace inside of her knew that it wouldn’t have made a difference whether or not she was supposed to be with Nick, even if he didn’t exist in her life, she still would have wanted to go to that party in Dallas with Jordan and she probably would have still gotten attacked. She wanted to blame Jordan, for dressing her in the provacative costume, but she got over that feeling almost immediately. She wanted to blame the outfit, Gavin for having such sleezy friends and most of all, herself for not being where she should have been, with Nick. But, she knew she couldn’t. One thing that she did know is that she didn’t want to feel this way anymore but getting better was hard and she knew that it wouldn‘t get any easier. She was afraid that she would never be able to be intimate with Nick or anyone else again, but she knew that she wanted to be with him because she needed the closeness. The fact that he was very timid with her broke her heart. All of these feelings stayed bottled up inside or her as she watched her relationships both with her loved ones and between them deteriorate before her very eyes. She knew she had to make a decision, but this was a time when she needed to hear the voice of someone who always had known what was best for her.

Shaking, she picked up the telephone and dialed the familiar number. “Hello?”

“Mamma? Its Britty.”

“Oh honey, its so good to hear your voice, how are things?”

Britt sucked in a deep breath, before softly speaking, “Actually mamma, things aren’t that great and I don’t know what to do, I thought that you could maybe help me.”

Liz Meyer could sense something that she had never heard in her daughter before, what it was she was unsure of, “What’s going on? Is everything ok with you and Nick, are you and Jordan fighting? Tell me baby, maybe mommy can help.”

Britt just broke down, she only wished her mommy could help her right now but she knew that wasn’t possible. Knowing her, Liz gave her time to compose herself and allowed her to say the next words. “Actually, Nick is here, in Austin right now.”

“Did he come for a visit? That was sweet of him...”

“Not exactly.”

“Then what?”

“Something happened Mamma,” Britt said almost in a whisper. Before her mother could ask what, Britt said, “and right now I don’t feel ready to tell you about it, but I will someday. What I need to know is what I should do. Nick is worried about me and wants me to try to take my exams in the next week or so, he wants me on the road with him.”

“Honey, if things are that bad you can always come home, you don’t have to stay in Austin or with Nick.”

“I can’t,” Britt whispered softly, breaking not only her mother’s heart but her own. “I am a grown up and I have to work this out. Plus, I don’t think anyone can help me right now except for myself.” And maybe some major psychoactive drugs, Britt said to herself.

Liz Meyer knew her daughter, she knew it was better to leave it alone and that Britt would come to her when she needed her, and more than anything, she trusted her daughter and her judgment. “Is there anything you need baby?”

“I’ll work this out Mamma, trust me...”

“Alright baby, but I want you to tell me if there is anything I can do...”

“I promise, I will tell you,” Britt said as she watched Nick walk into her bedroom and sit on the edge of her bed next to her. A moment of silence overtook the room and the phone line. “I love you Mamma.”

“I love you too Britty, take care.”

With that, Britt heard the line go dead and looked down into her hands, tears threatening to spill. Neither of them said anything for minutes. Britt felt Nick’s arms wrap around her shoulders and she fell into his embrace. “Your mom?”

“Uh huh,” she said as she wiped the tears from the bottom of her eyes.

Nick felt her body resist his embrace a bit, he pulled away from her and touched the side of her face, “Did you tell her?”

“No, I can’t,” Britt said as she looked away and moved off of the bed and got onto the floor and began going through a random magazine.

“OK.” Nick said very simply. He had realized that pushing her was not the thing to do and that it would get him absolutely nowhere. But, at the same time, he knew that he only had a couple more days before he could head back out on the road.

As if she read his mind, she asked him, “What do you think I should do? Should I stay here or should I go with you?”

Nick sighed and looked down, he knew what he wanted. Pushing Britt too hard is what had gotten them here. Thoughts of what if plagued his mind and he wondered would she have wanted to be with him on Halloween had he not been so pushy with her about the other weekend visits. “Britty, it doesn’t matter what I think.”

“I know you are leaving soon, I know you can’t stay here forever,” Britt said as she stood up and walked over to the mirror. She looked at her face and saw that she didn’t look like the person that she used to see. She was different, she was ugly. She turned around and faced him. “Tell me what you want me to do, I can’t decide right now.”

“You know what I want Britty,” Nick sighed, “but I don’t know if that is what is best for you right now. I don’t know if I am what you need...hell, I don’t even know if either of us can handle this. But I do know that if I had a choice, I would want you with me. I want to at least try to help you get better.”

Britt looked at him softly, then, the first smile he had seen from her since before the hospital shone, although lightly and barely there, “OK.”

“OK? That’s it? No argument...just yes...??”

“Just yes, I’ll go with you Nicky.”