MAY CONTAIN BIG SPOILERS
Right - Dave and Nick *cue screaming, drooling, etc - you know the drill by now :) * find a very dead blokie in a car in an empty fieldy thingy (well, as close to a field as you can get in London...) Poor bloke's had a heart attack, but I reckon it was just to get himself out of the way and distance himself from such a truly awful episode. Anyway, stiff's name is Derek or Danny Quigley, or something equally memorable. Yup, as well as having Dave's initials, as Nick so helpfully points out the bloke also looks like Dave *Nick peers up into the stiff's face in a rather endearing way, kill me now before I choke on my drool!*.
Checking the blokie's passport, which he has with him, they find out his birthday is a couple of days before Dave's. Cue Nick being very sweet and saying that the blokie was old, and Dave better watch out, as it could have been him. Ah, I love this boy *eg* *drool* *etc* *side note, Nick's hair has grown out of the godawful short thing he had - yes, this man *can* get sexier!* Rigor mortis guy has a present with him, adressed to an Alice, signed from 'D'. Dave gives it to annoying widow lady, whose name is *not* Alice. Cue much sniggering from the rest of the relief and cries of 'Alice? Alice? Who the feck is Alice?!' from Aly on the couch. Okay, at this point I lost interest for a while, 'cause out went Nick, and in came Psycho Demon Lady. It's the anniversary of when she met Dave and began sucking out his will to live, so they're celebrating. Of course.... Dave, being to dope he is, has brought the present back, wanting to track down the mistress, Alice, 'cause he feels sorry for her. Jenny finds the present, assumes Dopehead is having an affair.
The rest of the plot was amazingly boring and non-memorable, saved only by appearances of Paul Riley looking amazingly gorgeous, but he was just there because he's new, and the writers can't quite figure out what do with him.
Digression: Writers: "We have an Asian DS." TPTB: "Cool." Writers:" We have a Buffy-style DC, blokes will love her." TPTB: "Team her up with Smiffy, make him look like a damsel in distress. We want girls who can... what do the youngsters say?... 'kick ass'?" Writers: " We have a female DS, let's get in with the women's lib." TPTB: "That new Super's a ladykiller, major ratings boost. Well done on that. What else?" Writers: " New DI is a hardnut." TPTB: (Mr. Burns' style) "Also excellent." Writers: " Oh, and we have a floppy-haired DC who can stand in the background and have menial tasks to do, and only get noticed very occasionally. Let's give him a couple of odd lines because we feel sorry for him. We'll destroy his character later."
End digression: So, showdowns between Evil Irish Witch and Zombie Boy, until she realises she really has sapped all resistance out of him, and falls into his arms, crying "Oh, Davey-wavey no brain slave boy, you do love me, don't you?" Davey-wavey no brain slave boy's reply: "Uh?" Yes, Dave, you're now officially dead.
