May 12, 2004
Well i thought i would start a journal with my thoughts. Just for the heck of it. Today i have a headache; the same one i have had for 3 days now. i am just at a point right now where i have to figure out what to do with my life and where i want to live. Upstate NY might be nice. A brand new start in a place where i don't really know anyone, well except for one friend. i was just thinking today how much people change. You think you know someone but then they seem to sink to a new low. *shrugs* i just don't get people sometimes. Oh well. 
My Journal
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May 14, 2004
Damn, i just started this and i skipped a day lol Oh well it happens! Work was long today, way too long. Lucky for me it is the weekend! I am happy, which is a nice change. Maybe things will finally make sense for me. It would be nice if everything would fall into place but everything still feels up in the air. We will just have to see what happens and i will keep my fingers crossed.
May 16, 2004
I had a mango smoothie today yummmmmmy. I watched 'Something's Gotta Give' on DVD and hated the ending. Hot young doctor .. old grumpy man ... guess which one she picked in the end! Now i am a self proclaimed hopeless romantic, but i am getting tired of love being used as an excuse for so many things. "i cheated but that is because i am in love with the other man" .. " even though he beats me i stay cause i love him".. all kinds of stupid crap like that . I hope when i fall in love again that goes smoothly, then again anything would be less dramatic than last time!
May 20, 2004
Alright, tonight i am gonna write about something really stupid. When you rent a movie from blockbuster now the older movies you get for a whole week and with all this time there are different ways that people approach the situation. Personally, i  like to watch the movie and make sure that everyone else around watches it in a timely fashion, then i return the movie when it has been viewed. Now some people don't know how to deal with this whole week of rental time. They WAIT till the night before the movie is due back and then they watch it. Is it just me, or does that way just sound less efficient? I mean if you forget to take the tape back the next day then you are screwed. SO MAKE SURE TO TAKE BACK YOU MOVIES ON TIME!
May 23, 2004
Go see 'Troy'. Especially if you like seeing Brad Pitt all hot and sweaty and manly.
May 26, 2004
*Sigh* i really need to make a change, a big change, in my life. i don't like it very much around here. I am friendly with a lot of people but the truth is, i still feel so alone. Maybe one day someone will understand and appreciate me the way i need to be. Some attention would be nice at the moment to pacify me but even that seems like a lot to ask sometimes.

Song of the moment: "Brick"- Ben Folds Five
May 30, 2004
I got my hair cut today! Woo hoo!!! It feels weird to have so much less hair, but don't worry everyone it is still long. Just a haircut cost me $20 + tip of course. Guys have things soo much easier when it comes to haircuts. They can either do it themselves (electric clippers are fool-proof) or they can pay a couple bucks to get it done. This woman today came into the salon while i was waiting to buy some shampoo and conditioner and it cost $68! $68 for 2 bottles of hair product. I can't even begin to imagine how that price is justified, but i guess some people will pay any price for beauty products.
June 9, 2004
This summer is going to be awesome. Friday is the No Doubt and Blink 182 concert. I know it is going to be amazing. I have been listening to those groups before today's teens got into them. Also, in 2 weeks and 3 days I get to go on a mini-vacation. I am very much looking forward to seeing my friend :-)

Song of the moment- "Feelin' Way Too Damn Good" - Nickelback 
June 12, 2004
The concert was soooo awesome. There was only one opening band to deal with before we got to the good stuff. It was raining the whole time but it was well worth being cold and wet. On another note, what the hell is wrong with men??? It seems like they try to do me wrong, then maybe 6 months to a year later they come back. I mean what are they thinking? Do i really seem like the kinda girl that likes getting hurt over and over again? Come on guys. I am not stupid. If you f*cked up, try not to do it to the next girl. As far as i am concerned, i am not interested. Yes i am sweet, and smart , and amazing and you should have thought about all that before you f*cked me over. It is too little too late to say sorry now. I am not about to put myself in a bad situation again. I wish other girls would take my lead on this issue too.
June 16, 2004
I love my friends but it is amazing how stupid they are sometimes. You can tell your friend something till you are blue in the face, but in the end they are gonna do what they wanna do. They need to make their own mistakes. All you can do is be there to pick them up after they fall even though it kills you to see them going down the wrong path.
June 30, 2004
Well i am back from vacation. I had sooo much fun it was so hard to leave *sigh* Being away from VA makes me realize how much i don't like it here. I wish i could get what i want but i guess life just doesn't work out that way. Hopefully soon i will figure out what i want to do and where i want to go. If anyone wants to offer me some suggestions let me know.

PS ... even Julia Roberts breaks her own rule in Pretty Woman, and she is happy that she did.
July 5, 2004
Well the 4th of July was uneventful around here. There was a big redneck gathering at the supermarket parking lot but needless to say, i was not gonna get involved in that. *Sigh* It really sux that anytime i seem to like someone they never feel the same, and in the same respect, those people i can't stand will never leave me alone. I can just never win. I need to get out of this state. I am open to suggestions if anyone has any LOL.
July 19, 2004
Opps I have been neglecting this site for a while lol. I am so bad at keeping a journal. It is evidence and there are some thoughts that no one needs to know but me. Well now i am trying to move to Long Island. I know i can see how my life will play out if i go there and even though i am giving up some opportunities, it should all work out for the best. Somethings are just not meant to be, even though it is hard to accept that sometimes.
July 24, 2004
I figured out that i need some attention, but not just the regular, meaningless BS attention. I need some sincere attention. I want to feel wanted and appreciated. It is just a feeling that i miss terribly. I am such a girl, it is aweful. I should be tough and not worry about crap like that. I guess i am just a hopeless romantic, or possibly just hopeless LOL i am not quite sure.
November 5, 2004
Yeah i know i haven't done this in a while, but it is my site so i can do whatever the hell i want. I am just feeling sorry for myself again. I feel good that i have  been putting my foot down with men lately. I am not gonna take any crap and i need respect. I am not gonna just smile and pretend everything is alright when it isnt anymore .. and you know what .. i dont care if someone else gets upset. If you can't treat me with respect, like a woman, then i dont have time for you. It is just that simple.
November 15, 2004

I have been in a bitchy mood lately. There is nothing wrong with me, but i like my bitch. I don't feel the need to pretend to be nice to those who don't deserve it. So get used to the bitch, she is a part of me. I hate BS excuses from other people. I feel that people are not always honest with me. Sometimes when something seems hard or scary or different it is just easier not to do anything. Why take a risk, right? Well sometimes you do have to take a chance on life i think cause the rewards can be great and then you don't have to live with knowing you didn't try. But not everyone thinks the way i do.
December 25, 2004

Merry Christmas!!
Christmas is always great but, it is just not as much fun as it was when you are a kid. This morning i wasn't even trying to wake up early. I got some nice presents but i didn't get what i really wanted. I am working on that though. Now i am thinking about New Years. I wish i had someone to kiss at midnight but it doesn't look like that is gonna happen. It's no problem, i am gonna find a party and have some fun regardless. Besides a kiss isn't worth having unless it really means something. I have been kinda stressed lately, but now school is over and i plan on keeping everything and everyone who is stressing me out of my life. 
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