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THE ONLY PROOF I HAVE IS A GOVERNMENT DOCUMENT THAT I GOT THROUGH THE FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT. THE DOCUMENT REVEALS THAT 95% OF ALL MURDERS, ASSUALTS, ROBBERIES, AND RAPES ARE SQUIRREL RELATED. HOWEVER THIS DOCUMENT WAS DESTROYED WHEN I WASN'T HOME. THE ONLY THING I NOTICED WHEN I GOT HOME WERE TINY FOOTPRINTS ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR THAT LOOKED LIKE SQUIRREL FOOTPRINTS TO ME. |
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