As Gents’ Secretary and Administrator Extraordinaire Mr. Burman was on leave of absence in Norfolk with the in-laws, it fell to this season’s captain to compile the match report. And what a match. It can’t be any fun to write a match report (especially your first one) when things go wrong so I am delighted to report that The Gents played another blinder. The Enterprise hiccup (and it was only a hiccup as Keith acknowledged) aside, the Gents have found a different gear this season from any of the previous five seasons that this writer has played for them. It’s a pleasure to be captain of such a good team and a fine bunch of chaps to boot. But enough of this self-congratulatory diatribe: down to business.

Norwich are a new oppo to The Gents and although this is only their second season, they all turned up at 1.30pm precisely and to a man they proved to be very capable and competitive (but good-natured) players. Indeed, they have already turned over the Saints and the Mackems this season so it was going to be hard going. The Gents’ task was made slightly easier in that they were playing without four regulars (including both opening bowlers). It could have been a different story had they been at full strength.

Pete Wylie, the Canaries’ skipper, agreed with Snarler that the Gents would bat first as he was convinced that they would not last long with the bat against a new ball attack. As it transpired, their fears were ill-founded but it was at 2.10pm that Swiss Tony and Damian Evans made their way to the crease. Norwich struck immediately – in the first over, K Wylie bowled the full-toss from Hell which travelled to Swiss at some pace at chest height, only then to curve at the last second onto his bails after Swiss had got out the way of it. 2 for 1. Tony cut a disconsolate figure after his previous week’s heroics against The Weasels but he was not at fault: it was simply bad luck.

Enter James Wright. If this man fell into a vat of sewage, he would come out smelling freshly showered. Indeed, so golden is the glow from his bollocks this year that the rest of us will seriously have to consider wearing sunglasses for the remaining matches. There’s not a lot one can say about what happened next other than the facts: a stand of 106 with Damian which lasted for 24 overs and was a genuine contender for one of the best ever witnessed on the circuit. Don’t kid yourselves, it was far from easy. For the first 15 or so overs the ball swung, seamed and bounced very variably and could have resulted in a 50 all out. K Wylie, Splain and McEwan bowled mostly very accurately and we have all seen the Gents capitulate in such conditions. However, Damian and Jimmy batted with a great deal of determination and concentration and the stand was only ended when Davey forced Damo to lob the ball gently into the air to take the return catch. 25 runs, but my word how he fought for them all.

Big Eddie Fitch was given the opportunity to bat at four and he set about this promotion in the order quite conservatively by his standards. Another 30 runs were put on with Jimmy until Eddie edged to Pete Wylie behind the sticks and departed for 15. By this time, Jimmy was in the late 80’s with only 4 full overs remaining. Snelling had already decided before the match that he would bat at 5 to get in some much need practice in the middle but his strategy in that situation was quite clearly to see Jimmy through to this second century of the season. Stuart managed to get the necessary single off the first ball in the penultimate over to give Jimmy the majority of the strike and then they scrambled another one off the last ball of that over so that Jimmy would face the final over. Two runs were hit off the first ball and then several dot balls followed and Jimmy’s frustration was showing. He need not have worried – the fifth ball was sent over mid-on’s head for four runs down to the pavilion and my word how the other Gents roared their appreciation of another outstanding knock from the best batsman on the circuit this season. Norwich, to a man, applauded and congratulated Jimmy and this reflected their spot-on attitude – are you watching Wandham?

After a fifteen minute turnaround, Cichero and K Wylie came to the wicket to face a Snelling/Todd opening combination. Cichero, an Aussie ringer, had fielded like a demon during the Gents’ innings and his throwing arm was something rarely seen at this level (it made Chainsaw Mitchell’s arm look positively ordinary). Typically, he looked like he could bat too. Having taken Snelling for eight runs off his second over, it was Toddy who bowled him through the gate on his first delivery to him in the fourth over of the match. 15 for one. K Wylie and Hussain then added another 17 runs before Sanjay, replacing Snarler after four overs, sent his bails flying. A stand of 30 then ensued as the dangerous Hussain started to play some big shots (including a massive six over long-on off of Jimmy). More bad news for the Gents followed when Eddie pulled up in obvious pain with a torn hamstring during this third over (having bowled with great pace and accuracy during his first two). In a testosterone surge, he completed the over, bowling off of one pace but his pain was too much and he left the field to be replaced by Paul Revell, Sanjay’s builder friend. Eddie is a great find for The Gents and we all hope that his injury is not too serious and that he’s back in action soon.

Snarler bowled his final over after Eddie had hobbled off and accounted for Ellis. Our mercurial Welshman, Damian Evans, then replaced Snarler at the pavilion end with an attitude of "I’ll give it a go." His lack of confidence was ill-founded as he then proceeded to bowl five overs of naggingly accurate medium pace which accounted for Hussain (who looked as though he would score 50 albeit the ball didn’t bounce), Pete Wylie and Balbontin. During this spell, came another piece of fielding brilliance from Scibo. Pete Wylie called Symons for what seemed to be an easy single – Scibo, fielding at point, pounced on the ball and returned it to the keeper’s end in a flash. Naishy was redundant as the throw was a direct hit. Fantastic stuff. At the other end, Jimmy took care of Davey and Splain (finishing with excellent figures of 7-3-18-2) and it took the returning Sanjay in the last over to get the final wicket of number 11 Higgins (a high full toss!) who had hit some big shots for his 13.