SomebodyUpThere

Spiritual Humour

I've always been envious of people who are capable of interpreting messages from the spirit world. I admit I'm a bit of a 'thickie!' I never seem to get their subtle hints. I regularly have to ask Spirit to give me obvious signs to grab my attention. They say a nods as good as a wink but not for me, I need a slap around the face!
       I'll give you an example: I had been reading a lot about the Indian mystic Sai-Baba; a man renowned for performing miracles, producing objects out of thin air, and appearing in two places, sometimes in different countries, at the sametime. I'd read about people who had stayed at his Ashram in India and been totally changed by the effect this happy, peaceful man had on them. He has his followers, and, of course, his critics, but I was getting a numb bum from sitting firmly on the fence.
       I decided to ask Spirit for a sign. Like everybody, I wanted proof. During a meditation, I asked directly for evidence, I was quite blunt, rude even.
       'Okay, you lot, if he's what he claims to be, I need a clear signal'
       I thought nothing more about it and continued my day as usual. Eating, sleeping, drinking, sleeping, eating. Later that evening I was working on my computer.

      "Darling, the computer has crashed on me." I called in my best innocent-little-boy voice, that I use on such occasions as this, hoping to avoid any blame.
       "Oh no! What have you done now?" came the reply. I explained that I hadn't done anything, why, I had hardly touched it, I revealed in hurt tones.
       My wife repeated the process that I had just gone through, hitting, swearing, etc.
       "Really darling," I chastised, "that's not going to do any good now is it?"
       She turned to me, with eyes ablaze and was about to shoot me down in flames, when the screen began to flicker. It went from black, to grey, and then a purple box suddenly appeared in the middle of the screen and in it were two words:

Somebody 'Up There' Likes Me!

Certain events can take your breath away. Ice-cubes down your underpants or a kick in the mid-riff by a startled pony are two such examples.
The best are those bizarre mysterious experiences, which leave you open-mouthed in wonder.
Spiritual Writer Nick Richardson explains...

Eventually, I realised what I had been doing wrong. I hadn't sworn at it. Summoning up every rude word and insult I could think of, I let the computer have both barrels in a tirade of abuse... still nothing.

GURU MEDITATION

I stared open mouthed at the moniter.
       "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" I asked. My wife confirmed that she was. I rapidly explained to her my earlier request for a sign.
       "Well, that's a pretty impressive way of sending a sign." She said.
       I was really quite dumb-founded. Sometimes, you try and explain away these happenings as just co-incidence or chance. This was more than that. This was a positve affirmation - synchronicity. To me this was Proof, in a most unambiguous form. Needless to say I was highly impressed with Spirits use of a modern communication system. No burning bush or angelic visitation here. This was high-tech stuff. I wondered if they had a mobile phone; perhaps they could call me direct?
       The words stayed on the screen for a minute or two and then disappeared. We pressed a few more buttons and the computer kicked back into life.

Suddenly the screen went blank. I did the usual routine, hitting every key very hard, as if this could possibly make any difference. I slapped the monitor, I kicked the plug... nothing.

I had to admit defeat and swallow my manly pride. Shamefacedly, I had to consult The Wife, The Oracle, The Seer, She who knows all.

The most important lesson I learned from this was that spirit actually heard me. They listened, I got through and it worked. I now chat to them all the time. I expect I bore them rigid. I quite often imagaine them all sat around 'up

there' yawning, while I ramble on and on with the inane chatter that passes for thoughts in my head. So far though, my requests for next weeks winning lottery numbers, and Derby County to win the FA cup, seem to have fallen on deaf ears.
Oh well, I live in hope.

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