"You know something." Nick asked Kathy as they lay in bed together that night. "Hmm?" She snuggled closer to him, resting her head on his chest. "I just realized you won't be able to tour with me." "Sure I will." she assured him. "I can travel almost up until I am due, and you should be done touring by then." "Really?" Nick rubbed her back gently. "You'd come with me?" "Of course I would." Nick smiled happily. "Christina never wanted to come with me, because the fans would get mad at her and throw things." Kathy sighed. "Christina is an idiot. If she treated the fans nicely they would be nice to her." "I'm so thankful I met you." Nick whispered. "I don't know what my life would have been like without you." "Mine would have been lonely." Kathy told him. "I know that for a fact." Nick pushed the covers down and placed gentle kisses on her abdomen. "And now we're having a baby." Kathy laughed as his facial stubble tickled her. "Yes we are." "A Christmas baby, what a great present." Nick sighed.

With the tour starting in just a few days Nick and Kathy stayed close to home. They had picked out a room for the nursery and did some preliminary window shopping for baby furniture. BJ had agreed to stay at the house while Nick and Kathy were on tour, but Nick had decided to bring the dogs with them since they would be touring by bus. "I'll miss my puppies being gone for so long." Kathy laughingly agreed. "We'll be quite the road show, won't we?"

"So, who else is joining the tour?" Kathy asked, as she packed Nick's suitcase. "Well, I think Leigh is coming, for the first while anyway. Kristen is in the middle of a movie, Lex is trying to get some time off to come with AJ, she's never toured with us, so she really wants to see what it is like. And you!" Kathy folded some t-shirts into the corner of the case. "So I will have some female companionship somewhere along the way. I think being around so much testosterone might kill me!" "Testos - what?" Nick asked. "It's a male thing." Kathy teased. "Oh well then." Nick said matter of factly. "That will just make sure we have a boy!" "I think that is already well on it's way to being decided." she told him. "Come over here." Nick patted the bed beside him. She sat beside him. "What?" she asked, curious as to why he wanted her to sit with him. Nick lay her down gently and lifted her shirt. He ran his hands gently over her stomach, then moved up to her breasts. "Your body is already changing. I can feel it." he said in awe. "Our baby in there, doing that to you. It's so amazing." He kissed her stomach gently. "How does it feel?" he asked. "It's weird, but a good weird. It's a wonderful feeling." Kathy gently stroked his hair as he laid his head on her abdomen. "Hey little one! This is daddy. Mommy and daddy love you so much. We can't wait to see your..." Nick stopped suddenly and Kathy felt a cool wetness on her stomach. "Nick." she murmured. "Don't do this to yourself." He sat up and brushed the tears away. "Don't do what?" Kathy pulled her shirt down and hugged her husband. "Nick, I know you are upset right now." she said gently. "Damn right, I'm upset!" he yelled. "I'm never going to be able to see our baby!" He stood up and then sat right back down on the bed. "I won't ever see our beautiful baby." he sobbed. "Our baby." Kathy pulled him against her and rocked him, rubbing his back and quietly ushering reassuring words in his ear.

Nick had fallen asleep in her arms and Kathy carefully covered him with the blankets before returning to the packing. She hated that little reminders like this would hit him every so often and trigger an outburst. She tried to imagine how she would feel if she were unable to see their new baby, unable to see Nick. Even though she had experienced sightlessness, she couldn't do it. "This must be hell for you." she whispered, looking over to his sleeping form. "You hold it in so well, most of the time." She finished up the packing and lined the cases up by the wall, ready to go for the morning. Kathy wandered around the house, tossing last minute things into a bag. "Nick will want his books." she said to herself, picking a pile of them up. "The cell phone, the clock for the bus, remote controls for the video and audio on the bus. I need to write a list!" She sat down at the kitchen table and jotting things down as they came into her head, crossing off items that she had already packed. She looked up at the touch of fingers in her hair. "I'm sorry." Nick sat down across from her and hung his head. "I didn't mean to go nuts." Kathy reached across and took his hands in hers. "You didn't go nuts. Nick, you have been blind for almost a year. I know that sounds like a long time but it isn't." She rubbed his hand softly. "You've adjusted amazingly well, with very few complaints. You're entitled to a freak out session now and then." Nick smiled and laughed. "At least our baby will be able to see. I can't pass this on." Kathy's smile froze on her lips. "But I can." she thought to herself.