| This has by far been the most difficult thing I have ever dealt with in my life. What made it most difficult was the fact that Nick wasn't there to wipe my tears this time. Every time I have ever been sad or upset, Nick has been there to make me laugh. He always would do anything he could to make me smile. Now that I need him more than ever to put that smile on my face that only he could, he is gone. I sometimes wished it would have been me instead, but then I realize that I would never want Nick to go through the pain that I wake with every morning, or the tears I shed each night. So many times I just want to pick up the phone to call him and see what he's up to, or to share some funny story with him. Every time something funny happened, Nick was the first person I'd call. It's so strange, because Nick and I were like a couple of puppies, always following eachother around, and always getting into some kind of mischief. Now I feel like a lost little puppy in this world. I feel like I've lost my companion, and I know that there are others that share in my loss. |
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The hardest thing I've ever had to do was speak at Nick's service. I don't know what kept me from falling and fainting. I don't know what all I said, but many people felt what I said and it moved them. I don't take credit for that. I spoke from my heart, and my heart is Nick. He was always the one who spoke for me when I could not, stood for me when I could not, and was my strength when I was weak. He has obviously continued to do so even after his death, and my proof was on that day. So many people have befriended me after all this, and I greatly thank them. The people at Shark's have also been really good to Nick's memory. It's strange walking in there without being with Nick. The last time I ever saw Nick was at Shark's. We were outside goofing off and he was making me laugh, as always. I remember I got in his truck and revved it up, like I so often did, and he kept telling me to get out of it, but I stayed in it revving it up, just to push his buttons. I had no idea it would be the last time I would hear that truck. His truck was such a huge part of him, and I'm glad that his parents have requested it stay as far away from Hot Springs as possible. Nick's parents are awesome. His whole family is, and I'm so glad I got to be a part of their lives while Nick was alive, and will continue to be and help keep his memory alive. His family has a kind of courage that is unbelievable, and I have so much respect for them. I know that this has been so hard for me because Nick was my best friend for many years. I cannot imagine how it must feel for them, and I pray for them often. I ask that anyone visiting this site does the same. Nick was an amazing person and I learned so much from him. He taught me to be strong and not worry so much about what other people think. That's one thing that was so true about Nick. People would mess with him and pick on him, and say mean things to him, and it would bother me more than it would bother him. He would just shrug it off and not care. I wish more people had that kind of strength. I also learned that life is precious and not something that should be taken for granted. If only we had known that our beloved Nick would be leaving us so soon, we would have done so much more. I now know that we don't have that warning, and that we need to live each day to it's fullest. He also taught me that when we're living our lives to their fullest, we must live it with responsibility. I can't beleive that I have seen so many of the guys that were at Nick's service out on their bikes not wearing helmets and doing tricks. You know who you are, because if I saw it, I chased you down and chewed you out for it! Please guys, ride safely. Look how bad Nick's death hurt you. Would you want that hurt on someone else? Wear a helmet. Don't drive recklessly. Please.
I don't know what else to say at this point. I've really kept it together up until this now. I was putting this site together and laughed while I looked at some pictures, and nearly cried while looking at others. I thought I was all cried out up until writing this. When typing this all the emotions I've gone through over the last few months have come flooding back to me. All this emotion is overwelming.
If you have read all this, thank you. I don't know what it's all here for, but I thought I would share some of my feelings about this with those who visit this site.
If you'd like to add something, email me!
[email protected]
Thank you,
I love you guys!
"Life is precious, don't take it for granted. We love you, Nick!"
-Chelsea aka "Baby Girl"
12/23/2005 |
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