I thought that all four of my fans across the world would like to know a little more about the man behind the legend. So here's how I falsely answered a questionaire I stole from someone else's web site. It's supposed to be funny, but it's probably not.

Name: Nic
Full Name: Nic: World's Greatest Lay
Aliases: Mr. Cunnilingus
D.O.B.: 7.4.1776
Sex: Male, I think, let me check, hey where'd my..., oh there it is, yep male
Hair Color: Bald
Eye Color: Clear: Glass Eyes
Height: Varies whether I'm standing or sitting down
Weight: That's a question you never ask a lady
Blood Type: C
Who Named You: That one dude
Father's Name: Time
Mother's Name: Earth
Place Of Birth: Where I was born
Astrological Sign: No Right On Red
Sexual Orientation: Left
Tattoos: I have all the Ham Hams from Hamtaro on my back
Best Character Trait: I'm sexy
Worst Character Trait: I'm sexy
Best Physical Trait: My pinky toe
Worst Physical Trait: My big toe
Associated Color: Grue
Celebrity I Am Most Like: God
My First Act As President Will Be: Annual "Sex the Prez" Day
TV Show I Would Love To Star In: Cops
My Worst Fear: That someone is dumber than I am
# Of People Are On My Buddy List: Buddy this
Stuffed Animals: Does taxidermy count?
Something I Do That Pisses People Off: Give funny answers to questions
What I'm Thinking Right Now: Damn this thing is long
What I Eat: I'm not touching that one
When I Wake Up: Whenever the girl kicks me out of bed
When I Go To Sleep: 2 minutes after I "arrive"
# Of Pillows: Do girls count?
Phrase I Over-Use: "Yo Daddy"
What I Do When I'm Bored: You
Relationship With Parents: I have a pedophilic Edipus Complex. I want to kill my son and sleep with my daughter
I Look Like: You Sound
I Have Respect For: No one
My First Car: Hot Wheels!
Most Embarrasing CD I Own: Aol 1000 Free Hours
Most Prized Posession: Hello Kitty vibrator
I Treasure: Hello Kitty vibrator
I Hate: Hate is such a strong word
Something I'm Looking Forward To: Whatever is in front of me
Last CD I Bought: Bought?
Last Movie I Saw In The Theatre: Bambi
Last Time I Cried: Cried "wolf" maybe
Last Time I Was Sick: I'm always "sick".
Last Person I Called: The Ghostbusters
Last Thing I Said: The Ghostbusters, what did you forget already?
Last Time I Had A Serious Talk: I'm never serious
Last Time I Laughed: When was the last time I saw your face?
Last Time I Made Someone Laugh: No one laughs with me, they only laugh at me
I Believe In Reincarnation: I've lived more in one lifetime than most people live before obtaining
I Believe In Angels: I'm here aren't I?
I Believe In Aliens: Of course I do. It was a great movie
I Believe In Accidents: That's how I was born.
I Believe In Fate: You know what they say, "Fate is just Fat with an 'e'"
I Believe In Ghosts: Another great movie, there were thir13en
I Believe In Santa: I worship Santa
I Believe In Myself: "I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky" - That Child Molester Guy, Not him the other one, the one that's still black
My Personal Beliefs On...: It's all good
What I Think Of When I Hear "Chicken": "Finger Lickin' Good"
What I Think Of When I Hear "Love": It's a love-hate thing
What I Think Of When I Hear "Laura": Bush
What I Think Of When I Hear "Guys": Depends on what they are saying
What I Think Of When I Hear "Movies": Stealing
What I Think Of When I Hear "Shopping": Six finger discount, hey I can't help it I was born that way
What I Think Of When I Hear "Death": A very rusty sickel, he really needs to clean that thing
Life Is Like: A box of chocolates: expensive and with too many choices
Dreams: Are reality and reality is the dream
The Sweetest Thing: Was a movie where I got to see Cameron Diaz go down on Christina Applegate
Video Killed: The Porno Mag
Hard Times: I'm not touching that one either, maybe that's why it's still hard
I Have Smoked: I've smoked something
I Have Had Sex: "Warrior that terrifies, it's N.I.C., virgin 'till the day I die" - Sung to the tune of D & D by Stephen Lynch
I Have Flown In A Plane: Mile High Club, dissregard that last line
I Have Gone To Church: It burns!
I Have Read The Bible: It still burns!.
I Have Been Friends With Someone No One Else Liked: I'm friends with me
I Have Stayed Up Till 4am On The Phone: Yes, But I probably started the call at 3:55am
I Have Tipped Over A Port-A-Potty: I've been tipped over in a port-a-potty
I Have Gone Skinny Dipping: How do you dip foor skinnies? Is that like bobing for apples, but with skinny people
I Have Said, "I love you", And Meant It: Meant it? Damn, so close.
I Have Broken The Law: Shh
I Have Been Convicted Of A Crime: Shhhh
I Have Bungee Jumped: Snap!, No
One Thing Nice About Someone I Miss: To the person in my cross-hairs: Could you slow down some. P.S.: And a little less up and down movement when you walk.
One Thing Nice About The Person Who Sent You This: I stole this, so I guess I'll say, "Thanks for being an easy target."
Parting Thought: I pretty much did this whole thing for one person. (Twice)
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