| Feb 14th 2001 I asked my self the other day. What the meaning of life really was. I reflected back over the years spent in and out of love. Holding someone so close to me one day, then the next they are so very far apart and I hold nothing at all. Hands that used to be so warm as they touched a face, now are so very cold and slightly tremble uncontrolably. Lips unkisses that once caressed anothers by candle light, with promisses of forever. Spilling out words of love, and things to last for all time. Now they say nothing at all. Only slight mutters into the darkness that has become my world. I was born to love. Hope is all that I have left. Its the last of what I have to hold on to. My mind used to be filled with such great ideas, thoughts and pictures of what love was supost to be like. Empty.... They have all dissapeared with the tears that have fallen from my eyes. Someone looking in would see broken dreams, where a proud poet once stood, Ashes in a pile where a fire once raged out of control. A poet writeing his emotions down with sturdy hands bright shineing eyes and a mind full of dreams. I have become my own nightmare. A fallen poet, someone with out a dream. A writer with out his words. A broken soul that flickers with pain, consumed by his own tears, that put the fire that raged inside of him out. Something cold that hides with in the shallows of the darkness. Isolated by fear that controlls my mind. I am alone, dead to the world around, destroied by my own dreams. A heart that struggles each moment to grasp another beat. And lungs that breath blades upon which rip threw him like a cold winters day I am bound by my own words, and hide with in the fears of no tomarrow. To sleep, to die, blades upon blades, rip the flesh of an already mortal wound. Let me die in peace, please I beg you. Tempt not whats already forgoten, beleave not in what never exsisted, and learn not from a past that should have never became. For just one wish I beg of you. I will not ask for money.. I will not ask of personal possesions. I would not waist such a chance on something as bliss as that. I simply would wish to forget. To ease my mind of a prision term so inhumane. To ease all the memories, all the thoughts... all the dreams and hopes. To erase all that i am and ever could be. To just forget. Because the road is just to long. And im tired. Lay me down now. To sleep, to forget... To have been no more. Jasper Logan Brooks |