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		put plainly, i feel about the same (maybe a tad more messed up and/or jaded, but overall i feel more or less like the same nick). i find myself regularly rethinking the observation that my brother off-handedly threw out: 'college is really a pretty stagnant time and place' (or something along those lines, or at least that's the version that i've bothered to remember). and for me, that has pretty much held up as true. nothing much happened, nothing to make the year seem especially special. it was pretty much just another generic year in the school years of nick, except that i don't feel all that satisfied about the year's genericness. it's another time when tv, as good as it is, really messed up my expectations for the way things would be. some nice memories, yes; but i was expecting for some earth shattering transformation of myself or at least something new. frankly, i'm not quite sure if i was bored out of my mind half the time, but overall it is all hazily recalled as being ok. so other than nothing happening, stuff did happen. i took some ego bashing (which was probably long overdue and on the whole pretty good for me). well let's just say that winging no a's was a bit out of character for me. yes it hurts (it's one less way to impress people and those impressive traits are quickly becoming an endangered species) but whatever it's nice to be able to gripe about the suckiness of school for a change. other things of note are my gaining of new passions, or at least things i sink of lot of time into. the lack of tv resulted in a decently sized opening of free time. and, sure enough, i founded something nearly as (probably more so-ly) frivolous to fill the gap, anime. well, anime is probably the closest thing to a major change in my psyche, probably for the worse, but hopefully i'll get sick of it soon enough because it really is a huge sink of time (you kinda get the impression that i'm down about my anime watching, don't you?). coinciding with the rise of anime watching was the rise of 'hacker-ish' pride and the fall of time spent gaming. while i'm finding other engineers to be not the greatest of folk (and probably rather to somewhat evil overall), there is the growing suspicion that i'm indeed part flock. plus, there is my general disdain for the public's ignorance to further fan the flames of uber-geekinesss. reading stephenson's books didn't hurt either, they really make you feel good about being 'knowledgeable' about computers. who says computer programmers can't go on exotic quests? and now back to the main point of my thoughts: it's easy to get lost in college; it lacks the chumminess of high school and isn't nearly as easy. sure you meet people, but it's all too easy to get lost in the lack of forced social interaction (a thing that i originally wanted, but whose merits i'm now questioning). the lack of consistent social interaction with people outside those in close proximity is the main reason why i think i'm more messed up now than before, sort of like an added sense of isolation on top of everything else. however, that isolation is not without it's pros. with it, i've somehow patched/pulled together a solid group of friends who'll most likely stick around for quite some time. and for better or worse, it's strengthened my own self-image of the type of person i am (i.e. made more much more opinionated [though not necessarily meaning that i bother to voice my opinions, rather that i at least know how i feel]). i almost feel like i'm the nick of my hyperactive jr. high years, which is kinda disturbing considering that i should probably be in a higher level of consciousness now compared to before. well it's been a year, a year that i thought should've been more interesting, but like most things it disappoints (i'm even questioning the quality of the year's music even though i went on quite a cd buying binge). few experiences, little drama, nothing earth shattering. and what's left if you fast forward through that year just to look at the state of nick is without bothering about how he got there: perhaps a stronger nick but most likely just a quirkier nick with a side of suckiness.