[Nic Totopoulous is seen in a garage. He has a long black pipe in his hands. It’s about five and one half feet long. On one end it has a lid. As the camera gets closer we can see that the tube is thin in one half, and for the other half it is much thicker. Totopoulous is carrying a short hockey stick as well. There is a plastic grocery bag that is filled with something, but we can’t tell what it is. Just then a car pulls into the driveway. Wall2K gets out of the car with two LCBO (we are in Canada here, LCBO means liquor store) bags.]
Wall2K – I’ve got the stuff man.
Nic – Alright, lets go inside.
later on that night…
[Nic Totopoulous and Wall2K are sitting in chairs with six empty Colt 45 bottles lying on the floor.]
You ready?
Let’s go!
[They both get up and walk out the front door.]
later on that night…
[A car pulls into the parking lot of a local public school. It’s not going very straight, but oh well. The car stops in the middle of the lot. Both Nic Totopoulous and Wall2K stumble out of the car. Wall2K walks to the back and unlocks the trunk. He opens the trunk door. Nic Totopoulous reaches in and takes the long black tube out of the trunk. Then Wall2K reaches in and takes the hockey stick and the grocery bag out of the trunk. They shut the trunk door and begin to walk toward a field.
They get out to the middle of the field. There are soccer nets, a baseball diamond and a playground. Wall2K puts the bag and the hockey stick down. He takes something round out of the bag. It’s an oval, it’s a potato!?! What are they doing with a potato? He hands it to Nic and Nic begins to jam it into the thin end of the black tube. He gets it in there. Then Wall2K takes the butt end of the hockey stick and begins to jam the potato into the tube. Wall stops, he seems satisfied with the job he’s done getting it in there.]
So this is gonna work?
Of course it is. I do it all the time.
Alright, good. So what, just spray the hair spray in the end, put the cap on, shake, and push the barbecue lighter?
That’s all there is to it.
Hehe, kool.
[Wall2K holds onto the tub and the cap for the wide end. Nic picks the hair spray out of the bag that held the potato. He begins to spray it into the end, then he stops and Wall screws on the end. He shakes it, and pulls the lighter.
BANG!!!
A noise the sound of a gunshot goes off! Fire goes from the end of the tube and the potato flies out of the tube.]
That was so kool! What a potato cannon. I wanna try it again.
Well I think it’s my turn.
No, let me go again.
Alright fine. But this time you have to shoot it at something.
That’s even better than before.
[They both start to look around for something to shoot a potato at.]
Hey, over there. Look at that eighteen wheeler. I think I’m gonna shoot it at that.
That is awesome. Let’s go.
[The two drunken idiots pick up the stuff and walk back toward the parking lot where the truck is parked. The put things down and get the potato cannon set up.]
Well here goes nothing.
This is gonna be great!
[Totopoulous puts the spray into the back of the cannon, Wall screws on the cap, he shakes it, pulls the lighter.
BANG!!!
The potato flies out and hits the side of the trailer with a splat. There is potato everywhere, and a little dent in the side of the trailer.]
Well that was alright. Didn’t really break anything though. Did smash the potato good though.
Ya. Think it would break the window of the school?
Hmm… I don’t know. Wanna try?
Oh you know I do. Let’s do it.
[The two of them get the cannon set up. Wall sprays the hair spray into the end, Nic puts on the lid, he shakes it, aims at the school window, pulls the trigger…
BANG!!!
CRASH!!!
SMASH!!!
The potato smashes through the window! The two of them look at each other, then they stumble over to the window. The hole is the size of a basketball hoop. They look through the hole.]
Holy shit! That hole is huge.
That was great!
Ya great! HA! HA!
You know what?
No.
We should probably leave.
Oh shit! Good idea, let’s go.
[The two of them pick everything up and run back as well at they can to the car. The put everything into the trunk and slide into the car. Wall turns on the car. They turn around and take off out of the parking lot and down the road.
Scene fades.]