[Nic
Totopoulous is seen walking through a hallway in a house. It
is assumed that it is his house. He is wearing a ratty old T-Shirt
and a pair of sweat pants.
He walks down and walks into a room. He closes the door. A moment later he walks out the door and is now wearing one of his snazzy shirts and a pair of leather pants. He walks down the hallway to the front door. He puts on a pair of boots and walks out the door.]
later on...
[The footage resumes with him pulling up to a local bar called California's. He gets out of his car and walks into the bar. He walks over and takes a seat on a bar stool. Someone comes over and he purchases a Molson Canadian beer. Then some guy comes up and sits next to him.]
Random man
- Hey, how's it goin'?
Totopoulous
- Not too bad. Things could be aa little better I think, but not so
bad. How about yourself?
Pretty good.
Hey, I'm Doug.
Hey Doug, Nic.
Nic...
Nic Totopoulous the wrestler? Because if not then you look exactly
like him.
Well, I might
look like him because I am him.
My God!
This is really cool man. I can't believe I'm meeting you.
Well believe
it brother.
[The
bartender comes back with Nic's beer.]
Hey, can you
get me and Alexander Keith's?
Bartender -
Sure thing. Bottle or tap?
Tap.
You got it.
[The
bartender pours the beer into a chilled glass and gives it to Doug.]
Geez, so how
much does professional wrestling pay?
You mean money
right?
Ya, of course.
What else could I mean?
Well, the toll
a wrestler pays on his boday everytime he's in the ring.
Please, wrestling
is so fake. I've watched it since I was a kid, and I've never thought
otherwise.
Well then you've
got a lot to learn my friend. It is a little more real than you think
man. But anyway, I guess wrestling pays pretty well. I'm living
very comfortably, when it comes to money of course. The aches and
pains are still there.
Ya, I was looking
for more of a numerical figure.
Na man, that's
my business, not yours.
Fair enough.
So what do
you do?
I'm an NHL
agent.
Oh ya.
Who do your represent?
That's my business,
not yours.
Ah ha ha.
That's a good one. Alright then smart guy.
So, can you
give me a little insight here.
Umm... Maybe,
what do you want to know?
Well, I want
to know who is going to win this weekend. I want to know if you are
going to beat T-Money.
Do you mean
like a spoiler?
Ya exactly.
I want to put some money on the match.
Well I'm sorry
to disappoint you, but whoever wrestles better wins.
Come on, I
know it's fake. You don't have to treat me like an idiot.
Well I'm not,
it is real, and I don't know who's going to win.
Come on, tell
me.
No, I can't.
Let's talk about something else.
Alright, if
wrestling is so real, how did you lose to Wall2K? You cost me some
serious cash man. I was positive that you would win.
Why?
Because you're
awesome, or at least I thought you were. I mean, he made you tap
out man. He's never ever done that before.
Alright, I
already heard this from Jay Lakewood. He says that I'm a pussy, that's
fine, whatever. I don't need to take this crap from you. Hey
bartender, another Canadian over here.
No problem.
I mean really,
Wall2K is a very good wrestler. I mean he is a former world champion.
Like a said before, it was just a poor match. I had a bad night.
A bad night?
You got your ass handed to you. I think I might have to put my money
on T-Money for this match. Another Keiths over here.
Sure thing.
Hey hey.
Don't go overboard there. T-Money is not going to beat me.
He has no chance in hell. This guy with the big mouth. I mean
everything he says is a load of crap. But really right now I guess
it's just his word against mine right? He can say what he wants,
and I can say what I want. I that matters though is who gets it done
in the ring.
Ya, did you
see what he did to Marcus Luster?
Ya, so what's
your point?
Aren't you
afraid that you might end up like him?
God no.
Marcus isn't as good as me. Neither is T-Money.
I don't know
about that.
Alright, whatever.
Come on, and
why don't you want to wrestle Jay Lakewood. He seems like he could
be good. Have you seen his figure? He is massive, and very
strong.
His figure?
Are you gay?
Well, ya.
Oh my god!
Stop talking to me.
[Totopoulous
moves over to another stool. The bartender hands him another beer.]
Man, what a
freak.
Another random
man - What?
Oh nothing.
Just this guy I was sitting next to. He was a little gay.
What's wrong
with that?
Umm... Nothing
I guess.
Nothing eh?
Well what if I told you that I am gay?
Are you?
Yes.
Oh dear God!
[Totopoulous
moves to another stool again. The bartender hands him another beer
after he quickly downs that one.]
Man I need
this one. Hey bartender, this isn't a gay bar is it? Because
it wasn't the last time I was here.
No, it's not.
I don't know what's going here tonight.
Meh, alright.
Hey, aren't
you that wrestler, Nic Totopoulous?
Ya.
Wow, it's good
to meet you. If you chug the rest of that beer I'll give you another
on the house.
You've got
yourself a deal.
[Totopoulous
chugs his beer. The bartender hands him another.]
Good job.
Uhh... Ya thanks.
[Just
thena UWA show is played on TV. It is an update show to recap the
weeks events. The first headline shows in large letters, "WALL BEATS
TOPPY". Totopoulous puts his head down and finishes off his beer.
The bartender hands him another one. Totopoulous works at that one
while the people in the bar mock Totopoulous as they watch the show.
They talk about how he is scared of both T-Money and Jay Lakewood.
They also say he is afraid of Joe Traupman. While the show is going
on, Totopoulous finishes off a few more beers, he can't tell anymore.
He's had a few too many by the end of the hour-long show. He is fed
up with the people a the bar mocking him. He finishes of his umpteenth
beer and walks up onto the karaoke stage. Everyone looks over at
him.]
A third random
man - Hey, isn't that the chump Nic Totopoulous up there.
Ya, that's
him, and guess what, he's a gay hater!
Ya, he told
me that too!
[Clearly
very drunk, Totopoulous begins to speak, or he tries to very hard.]
Alright people,
listen to me. You all can make fun of me all you want *burp* but
you see, I am Nic Totopoulous, and I am the best ever. The wrestling
match against Wall was a fulke. He can never beat me again I say.
Never. He was lucky. Luck was on the side of the lady on that
night. The fat lady does no sing on Tuesday, she says "You know what?
Topoulopougous should have won. I mean Topoulo... Nevermind.
Wall2K should have lost, because he's not cool enough to win. Look
at me, now this is cool!
I hate you!
[He throws
a chicken wing at Totopoulous and it hits him in the head. Totopoulous
falls over. Then the rest of the people at the bar start to throw
food at him. The bartender goes over and helps Totopoulous up.
He leads him to the nearest exit. Totopoulous goes out the door and
stumbles, and falls.]
Damnit, this
is a new shirt. And I need to dry clean these pants. At least
there is a dry cleaners just down the way.
[Totopoulous
tries to get up, but falls on his back and passes out. The screen
fades.]
