| [Joe
Shmoe is sitting on the plane after trying to sell his North American belt
to Fulcrum. He seems very focused on his match now that negotiations for
the belt have been put on hold. He has a few things to say.]
The
Super Fun Happy Hour has now been put on hold. Tomorrow night, I have to
defend my EWF World Heavyweight Title to the Tickin Time Bomb, Rampage.
Now, I said it before, and I’ll say it again, you have earned my respect.
You are probably the second best wrestler in the world. Unfortunately your
match is against numero uno. That is, Joe Shmoe. Now, before I go any further,
Andrew Stone, I can’t believe that a piece of garbage like you is calling
me out. And for a two falls match for both titles. Well, the answer is
no. I don’t want to have to worry about you right now. I have Rampage on
my mind, so go bugger and do what most no talent hacks would do.
Now,
Rampage, a fellow Canadian. I understand that the fans are behind you,
and they should be. You are one hell of a competitor. Unfortunately for
you, I am simply that much better. I am faster, stronger, and more talented
than you will ever be. I beat one of the top superstars in the world in
J.D. Onslaught. You have beat a bunch of no name hacks who are a disgrace
to EWF. Now, let me make myself clear, you will not be the undisputed heavyweight
champion because I plan on keeping this belt until, like I said, it stops
holding my pants up. Now, you have the advantage with all of your experience.
Let’s face it, I don’t really have much of a game plan. I simply go out
and kick ass every single night I am in the squared circle. This will be
one hell of a match, maybe even the best match of all time. But, the true
champion will come out victorious. That man, is the man you are looking
at, Joe Shmoe.
Now,
Canadian beer, I have to agree, there is no beer like it. But that might
be the only thing I agree with you about though. I will beat you pillar
to post. I will beat you up and take you out of this match. And after tomorrow
night on Tuesday Terror, when all is said and done, I will still be the
EWF World Heavyweight Champion. I’m sorry for you Rampage, but that’s the
way the cookie crumbles.
[The
camera zooms away from Joe Shmoe as he gets that focused look on his face.
He is more ready for this match than any he has ever had. Tonight will
be the battle of the century. Who will come out the champion, and who will
come out the loser?]
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