The due date of October 29th came and went, and family and friends did nothing to help my poor wife feel anything but worry about needing to be induced. After prayerful consideration, I knew that everything would be okay, and a sincere talk with Merrilee on Monday helped her to feel better.
We�re watching �King of Queens� on Netflix now, and I mention this because Monday night we watched the episode where they�re thinking about having a baby. I thought to myself it would be ironic if this were the last episode we saw before having our baby, just like how the Stark Trek TNG episode where Data�s daughter is a girl happened just before we found out we were having a girl too. Coincidence?!
2:30 Tuesday morning: my wife wakes me up to inform me that she thinks her water broke. I knew full well what that meant, but she wasn�t sure, so together we tried to figure it out. We weren�t able to come up with anything conclusive, so I suggested we call the hospital and get their opinion. They suggested we come by and be checked out, but not to tell anyone in case it was a false alarm and we were sent home. So we ate a little, did the final-call packing (everything else has been ready to go), mommy took a shower she did not want to finish, and off we went.
It was around 4 am as we were driving down the freeway, I�m still a bit groggy, but handling things well. Merrilee hasn�t slept much at all, and she isn�t having contractions, but she IS cramping. I was hopeful that cramping was all she would feel of her contractions, but somehow Merrilee knew that wouldn�t be the case. There were few drivers on the road and I couldn�t help but wonder if all of them were heading for the hospital. Why else would anyone be awake at that time? Yes, I was silly to think this, but the baby was my world at 4 in the morning.
I was very glad to have driven the route previously, and before I knew it, we were at the hospital. I found myself coping with the unimaginable quite well, having wondered whether I would be acting like a TV dad or simply freaking out, but I think Merrilee would agree that I was calm and controlled; that is to say, she would if she noticed. I think she was a little busy at the time. She probably did, that sweetheart.
The last time we came, we pulled into the nearest parking space and walked the distance to the baby wing of the hospital. I knew this wasn�t a practical idea now, and so we drove around the hospital, looking for the parking area we had seen on our tour. It was easy to find before when we were walking, but we had to follow the road and avoid the construction too. And there was a LOT of construction going on all over the place!
Now, for those of you who haven�t noticed it, there are a good number of speed bumps at the hospital. For what it is worth, I didn�t notice either, but oh boy did Merrilee notice! She had to ask me to stop every now and again so she could prepare herself for the next bump, which was an uncomfortable jostle to my poor princess.
The hospital was deceptively larger than we had thought, and it took us a while to find the right parking area. We found a space and I parked so as to leave enough space for mommy and baby on either side, just in case. It didn�t occur to me that we�d have to try to bring all the stuff all at once until I started getting it all out of the car. All those pillows and the food bag and the suitcase of essentials started to take up quite a bit of room, so we left the water jug and my sandwiches in the car. It shouldn�t be a problem for me to come back out to retrieve them if things really started to get underway.
We checked in and filled out some forms, then Merrilee was sent to an ultrasound room where she was asked about how much I abuse her. I mean, with people just plain HAVING babies, I suppose you can�t assume there are happy marriages anymore. I think Merrilee could easily beat the crap out of me if she put her mind to it, but it doesn�t hurt to ask. Funny they never asked me how much she beats me�
In the changing room, Merrilee got to put on what they called their �sexy panties� and sit in a chair to be hooked up for baby and mommy monitoring. I may not have the greatest fashion sense, but I wouldn�t call them sexy. But then�no wait, I won�t write that. My kids might read this someday! And while I waited for Merrilee to be finished answer questions, I was asked about her status. I told them that our previous appointment with our midwife on Friday showed that Merrilee was already 2-3 centimeters dilated. The woman then told me quietly enough so that Merrilee wouldn�t hear that it was extremely likely that we would stay. She was sure about it, but suggested I didn�t mention anything just in case.
Merrilee was hooked up and we could immediately see how her uterus was doing, and we could hear a loud sound representing the baby�s heartbeat. There wasn�t enough evidence to determine whether or not the water had broken, and the midwife seeing us had to leave to check on a baby that was supposedly being born (which wasn�t). This left us with time to be alone hearing the unnecessarily loud baby heartbeat for at least 15 minutes. Daddy got to hold mommy�s hand while sat quietly thinking about who knows what. I imagine it was difficult for her, as we�ve been very hopeful to have our baby soon. Then something happened. Some things do that.
Merrilee had her first contraction. No, not just cramping, she confirmed. A contraction the way it should be. Well THAT was exciting! And what is more, I could see a little printout of her uterus contractions too! So I could see how big they were and how frequent and all sorts of neat numbers that I couldn�t possibly understand. But I got the important stuff, and I felt better able to help mommy.
The midwife came back, saw what had happened, and concluded that we should stay. We were happy to hear this, and we got Merrilee cleaned up and put on some new special undies before they headed out to her birthing room. I took advantage of the time to go to the bathroom, which would be the last opportunity to do so for longer than I had thought. I�m NOT complaining, because mommy wouldn�t get to go for even longer.
I have to mention the pain scale while I�m thinking about it. There was a scale of about 6-7 different faces, of various hues of red (white to blood-red), each with a different level of discomfort indicated, and numbers underneath. What struck me as odd about it was the instructions above the pictures: please point to the number indicating your level of discomfort. Point? I mimed a woman in �10� pain, screaming and pointing repeatedly at the red, angry, number 10 face. I wonder what an �11� would look like. It�d probably have a gun in it pointing at you, or the head would be exploding, or something like that.
I put all our stuff on a cart and wheeled it to the room where my sweet wife was getting comfy in the birthing bed. She was hooked up to another baby monitor (again with the overly loud sound) and an IV drip (not fun taking blood from mommy) and another thing to check on how mommy was doing. In the end, she had cables coming out of each hand and was still asked to sign stuff. NOT what I�d call great timing for such events. The stuff she had to sign gave legal permission to use whatever drugs were necessary, to have insurance pay for things, to acknowledge that someone was doing something, and maybe something about giving up our first born to a goblin�I don�t really remember. There were just a lot of things to sign all over the place and explanations and introductions and apologies because the staff rotation would be changing soon. Frankly, we just wanted to have the baby.
I can�t write this story without mentioning one of the worst nurses that visited. She, much to our disappointment, was around a lot. She asked, as was her job, whether Merrilee wanted anesthesia via an epidural for the delivery. We declined, as we are entitled to do, and we mentioned that this was in the birth plan they should already have on file. Merrilee is having contractions (excuse me, �surges�) every 5-6 minutes or so, and I didn�t tell her, but they were rather high on the display showing how intense they were. I don�t think that�s the kind of thing to share. The midwife, on the other hand, insisted (yes, insisted) on giving Merrilee something �to take the edge off� the pain. She kept suggesting this more frequently than the contractions were coming, and she even had the audacity to show disapproval when Merrilee said she was going for a natural childbirth. That was our plan and we were sticking to it.
Not long after, the nurse began to suggest that she didn�t stand a chance of delivering without an epidural, and the nurse who first checked Merrilee out was trying to discourage her from saying as much, at least in the presence of my wife. If there is one thing that I have learned during the past 5 months of pregnancy, it�s that the atmosphere is important to how well things go with mommy. I was sleepy, worried about my wife who was in pain, but I was doing everything I could to make sure Merrilee felt as comfortable and positive about things as possible. Merrilee grunted something about �shut up,� but the nurse didn�t seem to hear, or care. Husband mode activate: I told her in what I think was a �or you die� voice to not suggest it again, implying that I would happily tear her arms off and feed them to her through her nose if she did. Needless to say, she didn�t appreciate that much and suggested that Merrilee have some oxygen.
Merrilee has pointed out that several of these things are inconsistent with our birth plan, which she took quite a bit of time to work out in detail. It seems that they neither knew about what we wanted, nor did they take care to see that this was what we wanted at all. I have my misgivings about the night staff at Kaiser, but everyone else I think did fine. We�ll make sure to bring out the extra copy of our birth plan sooner next time. We shouldn�t have had to, but I suppose they�ll suffer for it in the end. Bwahaha.
I held Merrilee�s hand through the contractions, which seemed to be getting stronger more quickly that we thought. It�s funny to think that Merrilee was handling the pain fine, but worried she was being a wimp because she couldn�t possibly imagine she was already in late labor so quickly, despite the symptoms that suggested otherwise. I stepped out briefly to phone in my absence at work around 7 am, and returning, I could see things were definitely moving along quickly. Of course, I didn�t have enough experience to communicate what this meant, but hopefully Aunt Joyce would be showing up soon to give us a helpful update.
Aunt Joyce showed up a bit before 8 am because of a meeting she had from 8 to 10. She looked things over and said that Merrilee was progressing very quickly and well and that she�d stop by as soon as the meeting was over. She didn�t suspect, it seems, that it would all be over long before she made it back. I asked her to call and let dad know, as he had wanted us to call when we were on the way to the hospital. With that, she left.
EVERYONE loves Aunt Joyce there. When they found out I was her nephew, they seemed to take a greater liking to us, though that wore off quickly. I can see why she�s so well liked, because she sure stands out as a diamond in the rough compared to the other nurses we had to deal with. She was friendly, funny, and attentive. Go her.
The baby�s heartbeat started to slow at one point, and two nurses came in immediately to see what was going on. Unfortunately, they suggested (and rightly so) that we use an internal monitor to make sure we weren�t just getting interference while checking on the baby. We didn�t want to, but we had to agree that it was important to make sure our little girl was doing okay.
To say something about the helplessness of husbands, all I could do was tell Merrilee (truthfully too!) that she was doing a fantastic job, that I loved her, and that we�d have our baby girl soon. It seemed to help, but there were times when I felt that she just couldn�t hear me past the contract�surges. She just dug her nails into me (fading scars my dear, fading scars) and grunted and cried, and I couldn�t do anything to help. Just being there was enough, she has said, but I wish there was more I could do.
Merrilee asked me (through grunts) to call the nurse in so she could be checked for baby�s progress. She told me later that at the time she felt like she should be pushing, but again � how could she possibly be so far along? Well, they came and checked and confirmed that it was time to push. Merrilee, having researched this in detail, immediately changed positions in bed and got more comfortable. Our birth plan dictated a desire to not be hooked up so she could get more comfortable at her own pleasure, but as I said before, it wasn�t working out like that. Now was a time for change!
The head of the bed was elevated so that Merrilee would be sitting almost straight up, but she turned around so that she was holding on to the elevated edge of the bed and in a kneeling position. I had to relocate to stay near her, and that�s about when things went nuts in the room.
Merrilee started pushing with the contractions, relaxing between (as much as one can), and the nurses encouraged her. Behind Merrilee, I saw a pair of women enter to set up a baby delivery station and some baby delivery items, I saw a panel in the ceiling open and rotate where a big light could shine on where the baby would soon arrive, and a few more people came in to provide support and check monitors.
We were told that the baby was very near, and I (perhaps unnecessarily) repeated this information to Merrilee, mentioning that we�d have our baby girl soon. It seemed to make her happy and pushing resumed. The baby started crowning, and Merrilee was told that she had to turn over. When she did, the IV came out and started going all over the place, and I was the only one who noticed (it was getting all over me). I said something, which unfortunately only Merrilee heard, and interpreted it as a sign that something was going wrong. I explained in a way I don�t understand that it was nothing serious and she seemed to understand and went back to work.
One of the many people who had entered the room at this point was watching the baby�s heartbeat, which had begun to slow the closer to birth she came. It caused quite a stir in the area, which is understandable, since I have reason to believe being born is less than a comfortable experience. It turns out that the umbilical cord was around the baby�s neck, not so tight as to be life-threatening, but tight enough to get our attention.
I looked down and saw our baby�s face for the first time. I didn�t know whether I would have been able to look (not allowed to, but physically able to), but I did and I can�t begin to explain the rush of emotion that followed. She didn�t look happy, but she wasn�t crying yet either. She looked a nice healthy pink and bloody, which I didn�t mind. Another big push from mommy and her tiny little body squirted out (for lack of a better word). If things weren�t crazy before, they sure were now. The baby was swept up and wiped off and I checked on Merrilee who seemed very relieved, exhausted, and disoriented all at the same time. Looking back to our baby girl, I was quickly presented with a pair of scissors and the umbilical cord to cut.
I�ve heard people talk about how special a moment it is to perform that cut that ultimately separates mommy from baby, but it wasn�t quite what I expected. I half thought I would chicken out when the time came (assuming I was still conscious) or that all eyes would be on me and everyone would watch with baited breath as I performed the terrible act. As it happened, I was handed scissors, shown where to cut, the cut was made (tough stuff!) and I gave the scissors back and checked on mommy. It happened in the blink of an eye, and didn�t feel like the big ceremony I had imagined. For mommy�s sake, I�m glad it was over quickly.
I was also profoundly glad to hear little Felicity crying. Whatever doubts I had about her being in less than perfect health seemed to evaporate when I could hear her. The baby was wiped down a bit and some things were done to her, but I was more preoccupied with mommy, who was now calming down considerably and VERY anxious to see the baby. She asked me something about her to the effect of, �what does she look like?� or �how is she?� I could barely utter �she�s beautiful� before mommy was asked if she wanted the baby now or after a good cleaning.
All of her life, Merrilee has wanted to hold her baby. Before she was even pregnant, Merrilee thought about how wonderful it would be to finally hold our own little baby in her arms. Exhausted, hardly modest, mommy and baby were skin-to-skin right away, and the feeling of elation filled the room. Bill Cosby and my father both can make whatever jokes they like about newborns, but I thought she looked absolutely gorgeous. It was then, seeing my two princesses, then the full effect of what had just transpired hit me, and I cried tears of joy. Nobody noticed, of course, because this was all about the girls. I don�t feel bad either, because the girls definitely deserved the attention.
I wanted to lay down next to mommy, despite the uh�unsanitary conditions surrounding her, but there simply wasn�t room. And the nurses were still doing things, making sure the baby was healthy, cleaning up, and oh � the IV that came out earlier had leaked all over the bed and daddy, so I was pretty soaked with whatever that was, but it was hardly worth thinking about. There was so much going on at the time, I couldn�t really be near. But I got to see that wonderful sight of my sweet wife and pink little baby, and that was worth the world to me.
Eventually a space cleared out and I got to lean over Merrilee and give her a kiss and tell her how proud of her I was and how beautiful our baby was too. She did it all without any epidural or pain killer, and it couldn�t have gone better. I wanted to talk about the experience, share things like the nail marks scarring my hands to show that she wasn�t the only one in pain during labor, but the midwife let us know that it was time to deliver the placenta. I got nauseous during the videos in class, so I wasn�t very sure about this next part either, but again I surprised myself. The placenta, in all it�s less than poetic beauty came out just fine and was placed in a special placenta box of some kind. I looked it, looked where it came from, then looked back at mommy who didn�t even seem to notice what had happened. Compared to the baby, I guess it�s hardly worth a second thought. Pretty tough thing, though. Had to hold a wiggly baby for so long, but no more.
As the two girls cuddled as much as mommy and baby can, the time came to try breastfeeding. Being a guy, I didn�t understand how birth would activate nursing capabilities, but I had read enough to know that it should work now that the placenta was out. I watched our little miracle latch on and go for it after a few tries and was once again taken aback by the magnitude of the whole thing. How someone can say that having children isn�t a natural miracle is beyond me.
During the breastfeeding, there was a knock at the door (which wasn�t uncommon) and the nurse present gave the all-clear. Now mommy was pretty much wearing as much as the baby, so a curtain had been drawn to prevent outside visitors from seeing something I�d have to kill them for. We heard the door open and it was Susan�s voice. She and dad had apparently decided to come and be supportive and such. I didn�t know if they knew the baby had been born, or even how long they had been waiting. Taken aback by their sudden arrival, the two of us asked them not to come in just then and we�d get back to them. They were understandably surprised at this, but left graciously to go wait in the waiting room. Waiting rooms are good for that.
I think someone was a little excited about being a grandfather, because my dad called me shortly after this to see how things were going. I have to confess that I was less than eloquent, barely holding onto some state of consciousness where I was barely aware of what was going on at the time. I was asked how the baby was, and all I could answer was �she�s pink.� Not �born� or �beautiful,� but pink. Not a very helpful answer, and my dad decided to leave us be for now, but his curiosity would lead to several more calls over the next half hour or so.
She spent 15 minutes on each side before the nurses had to get the two of them cleaned up (or cleaned off). It was such a rush, and everything happened so quickly, but I remember that Merrilee asked me to stay with Felicity the whole time and keep an eye on her, and to hopefully be able to keep her calm and relaxed as much as possible. I got out the video camera and tried to keep a digital eye on her, but I suppose I wasn�t functioning at 100%, because I don�t know how well that went.
The nurse who was trying to give our baby her Vitamin K shot commented on Felicity�s �strong legs� which were flying every which way. For someone who has never had enough space to really kick, you have to admire the ballerina genes in action. She was also said to have a good strong set of lungs, which our baby girl used to let everyone know she wasn�t thrilled about being scrubbed down, weighed, and measured. Mommy was busy eating the breakfast they brought her (you MAN! YOU don�t get anything because you did this to her! Get your own food you MAN!), and I gave up trying to film these precious moments. The nurse kept getting in the way and baby�s belly-button wasn�t exactly the cutest thing to look at. Cute, yes. But not the cutest.
Felicity hated her first bath. I don�t know if this is because she was given a vigorous rub-down to get all the birthing fluids off, or because she (like her daddy as a baby) has a natural aversion to water, but she screamed so much that her voice sort of vibrated like a little sheep. It broke my heart, and I�m such a jerk that I still thought it was cute. Crying that hard isn�t cute, daddy! I�m not having fun!
After her bath, she was placed under a baby heating lamp (don�t try this at home) where her temperature was meticulously monitored so that, when reaching a good temperature, the heater would automatically turn off to keep baby from baking. She REALLY seemed to like being warm (who wouldn�t?) and lay there rather quietly, but still wiggling and squirming. I got a good, close look at her, and she got a good look at me, but didn�t seem too interested. I�m just moving furniture to her at this point, I think, but there is evidence to suggest that she has SOME idea who I am.
Mommy finished eating and went to go hose off in the shower, and I got a chance to hold our precious little bundle. She was all swaddled up in a cute bundle of squish, and she didn�t mind me holding her at all. As I looked into those beautiful blue eyes, I felt so proud of my two girls, and excited at the prospect of being a father to this little baby. She seemed very curious and looked all over the place with her big eyes and her squirming continued despite her snuggly confines.
Mommy came out, looking much better and happier than before, and she smiled seeing that I was holding our baby. I didn�t want to hog all the good stuff, so I offered to let mommy hold her again, but she didn�t mind me taking a turn for a while. She seems to think it�s very cute to watch daddy holding the baby. Some girls are just so silly, but I didn�t mind having an extra long turn with the cute baby girl. I like �em cute and pink!
They gave us a cart to load all our gear so we could be wheeled into the post-partum wing of the hospital and I packed it all up rather well. It struck me, though, that we hadn�t even used a tenth of the things that we had brought along; mommy was just too eager to have the baby and didn�t waste any time that could be spent on a birthing ball, walking around, or listening to music. Better to be over prepared than under.
As mommy and baby were wheeled out of the room in a wheelchair, I followed close behind noticing the oohs and aahs and envious looks from others we passed. I suppose that sort of thing is to be expected when you�ve got the most beautiful girl in the world. And the baby was pretty cute too. ;)
We had to share a room with another couple that would be leaving soon (but not soon enough!) which wasn�t that bad; we didn�t see much of them at all. We sure HEARD their baby a good deal though � she was a crier. OUR little princess was quite content to just sleep or look around quietly, making little if any noise. In fact, it seems that little Felicity figured out rather quickly how to let us know she wanted to eat: she (of course) turns her head and looks, opening her mouth some. But she ALSO does the cutest little thing with her tongue! It gets me all smiley just thinking about it!
The layout of this little room was simple: bed for mommy, transparent cart for baby to mommy�s right, table for eating to her left, television on the ceiling below mommy�s feet, and a few chairs for use by daddy and visitors, one of which turned into a bed. I thought the chair-bed was weird, since the baby was already born early in the morning, and I thought we�d be well on our way home by lunch time. Felicity was sleeping, so mommy and I cuddled (as much as a newly not-pregnant wife can with a clumsy and fatigued husband) and held our baby as we went through our list of names to see which one was just right for her.
We had about 10 names picked out, and variety of appropriate middle names to go with them. We were prepared for this moment, but holding our new baby made me realize that this was going to be her name for the rest of her life. Or at least until she was old enough to change it and break our hearts. Kids today got no respect for what parents do for them! Right, so, we looked at her and decided that she might look like a *blank* or definitely didn�t look like a *blank* to narrow the field. I was trying to be unbiased, but I couldn�t help but love the name Felicity because of what it means (I�m not telling, though - go look it up or something). The baby was still very pink, and mommy and I agreed that Rose or Rosalie would be very cute. We also liked the name Emma, and we thought she really did look like an Emma. I felt it important that the baby have a good choice of names to reduce chances of future heartbreaking as I already mentioned. We called her by a few of these names and combinations, but none of them stuck. We had some time, so we opted to think about it for a while.
At this point, we could receive visitors, but Aunt Joyce had come in to tell us that she and the other not-us grownups were going to have a birthday lunch with Uncle Rodger (his birthday, not Felicity�s) and they�d call later to see how things were going. This gave mommy and me a perfect opportunity to sleep. I don�t know how long we slept, I think it was about an hour, but I don�t think I EVER needed a nap more than I did right then (though some late nights since are a different story).
We woke up a little fuzzy and we looked at our beautiful baby girl for a while, trying to resist the urge to pick her up and hold her some more while she was sleeping. We decided that if she was going to be nice enough to let us sleep after what we�ve been through, the least we could do was return the favor. We watched a bit of television (not that great during the day), and I think we were lucky enough to find Mythbusters. Not a new one, but still a good way to celebrate baby birth. Oh, and the remote only made channels go up, and when they got to the top, the TV would turn off. Talk about lazy design!
Merrilee was brought a big lunch (again, nothing for daddy) but we had enough foresight to bring some snacks just in case, so the two of us munched on some stuff and cuddled. The couple next to us left soon afterwards and I decided that we had enough privacy to do a little post-birth filming. Felicity just happened to wake up for a feeding just then, so she was alert and not very fussy at all. Just what we could have hoped for.
Shortly after this, my father and Susan came by bearing gifts of food and drink for daddy which had never looked so good. In fact, it was a Subway sandwich with nothing on it I didn�t like. I ate and was grateful. They took turns holding and cooing over the baby and confessing her perfection to us. Well, we did our best and took our time doing it. If you�re going to make a baby, you might as well do it right!
After the visit, a feeding, some snuggling, and putting the baby girl back down to sleep, we had a few visits from nurses who had to check the baby, give us some information, and answer some questions. It seemed that most mommies stay overnight, which isn�t something we were hoping to do. We wanted to take our little girl home! So they said they�d do what they could, but there were certain tests that had to be done after baby had been born for at least 12 hours. So we looked through the papers, filled some stuff out (birth certificate!) and reviewed our �how to make sure baby actually likes you� information on changing, feeding, etc. Gosh, you�d think caring for another human being would be easy�
We took some time to try to find just the right name for our little girl again. Having her awake and looking at us helped, I think, and putting away the list I had made helped even more. I was simply too bound by it, loving the name �Felicity� but not too crazy about whatever middle name we decided could go along with it (Anne, May, or Noel). None of them fit. Merrilee said that she looked like an �Emma� which was very true. She then suggested �Felicity Emma McDonald� as her name. It sounded good, but just because I�m a nerdy geek who can�t make up his mind that easy, I tried �Emma Felicity McDonald.� It sounds worse now than it then. To mommy the choice was obvious, but I wanted to be sure. And we were. The more we called her that, the more it stuck. She didn�t spit-up or cry or anything when we called her by the name, so there weren�t any negative omens jumping out at us. We had a name for our bundle of joy.
It was getting dark out when the whole family came by for a visit. Merrilee and I weren�t sure our little girl would be able to handle so many people all at once, but again, she exceeded our expectations and remained very calm, quiet, and cute while she was passed around. I never thought about it, but Thane hasn�t really ever held a baby before. It felt strange for me to give advice to someone on how to hold a baby, especially when I can almost remember receiving the same advice at one time in my life. I held Thane when he was born, and now he was holding my daughter. Life sure is funny that way.
Of course, everyone loved her, but it was time to go and mommy and I needed more sleep we weren�t likely to get. We had dinner (you can guess who got what) and watched some Law & Order for a bit before someone came to give the baby her hearing test. Now mommy didn�t want our little girl to be anywhere without one of us there. Since this was going to be something of a walk, I opted to go with her. I followed nurse and baby to another part of the wing (passing a bunch of teenagers who looked more like they were hoping for drug-handouts than waiting for baby) and into a secure quiet room that was dark.
I was told to take a seat (there was literally every kind of seat I can think of there. Not a wide variety, but I had a choice of barstool, rocking chair, ottoman, recliner, folding chair�I know! Seriously�) and picking a comfy one, I scooted up close to where our little girl was lying in her rolling bed thing (imagine a crisper drawer high of the ground on wheels). The nurse taped a special speaker to each of Felicity�s ears while I asked how a hearing-exam could be conducted for a baby. Somehow, I didn�t think it was likely to be a �raise your hand when you hear the beep� type thing. As she gave me a layman answer, she was taping a sensor to the baby�s head and spine. Having seen enough Star Trek, I had a good idea what those might be. So I asked if they were to measure neurological response activity to sound and she seemed rather surprised at my technical awesomeness. She confirmed what I had guessed and then asked if I was studying to be a doctor or something, because I knew the technical jargon. I know that I chuckled, but I�m pretty sure I didn�t deny it. Silly me.
I had to be quiet during the exam, but I watched the little lights lit up on each speaker every now and again and I tried to watch my daughter for signs of comprehension while trying to ignore flashbacks to Mr. Holland�s Opus. After a few minutes (it felt like 5, but it was around 15-20), the test ended and our baby had passed with flying colors. In fact, �flying colors� was what the nurse said, which gave sleepy daddy cause to reflect on what that might actually mean. Flying colors�
After taking the tape off my little girl, we wheeled baby back to where mommy was waiting anxiously for our return while talking to her mother. She was glad to have us back and seemed to be feeling better after talking to her mom. I know, by the way, that I called several people including my mother and sister during the day (in that order, too), but I have no idea when or how many times. I�m pretty sure I talked to mom at least twice, but the day left me with little or no memory of it. So don�t start thinking I forgot every detail, or that I�m including every detail either. It�s hard to get this much down!
After a little reprieve, the time came for the next, and hopefully final, baby test � a blood test. Now it was suggested that neither of us accompany the baby for this one, as blood needs to be drawn and there is quite a bit of crying. What is more, supposedly your baby is not alone and there are other little criers around as well. But mommy, who loves her daughter more than words can describe, refused to let her go alone. I tried to talk her out of it, thinking the nurse might have a good idea of what to do here, and also in the hope that mommy might get some sleep without worrying about Felicity on hand. But my dear, sweet wife couldn�t bring herself to leave the baby without a parent for this difficult moment, and went with her. I had to stay, so the next part is based on her description of the event to me.
Again wheeled in the same baby crisper, they arrived in a room with other babies that looked as though they were premature, hooked up to warming and other devices. The nurse escorting the girls left and another two were deciding amongst themselves which would be the one to do this terrible thing to our baby. The lady who did do it suggested that mommy sit on one of the gliders in the room because many parents get very emotional to hear their baby crying so much. Naturally, mommy refused because this would put you further away, almost defeating the purpose of coming in the first place. She lifted the plastic part of the baby crisper to tilt Felicity so that the blood would rush to her feet, took a needle, and gave our baby her first mortal wound in the heel. Okay, maybe it wasn�t a mortal wound, but it was a hole, and mommy (and baby) didn�t like it one bit. Felicity screamed in pain and it broke Merrilee�s heart (she tears up just thinking about it), and mommy felt helpless and she continued to scream and scream, unable to do anything to help. The lady started squeezing blood out of Felicity�s heel into a tube that seemed to take an eternity to fill. After a while, mommy asked if the tube was all that was needed, and the nurse pointed to a stand where there were five circles on a special type of thick paper. Each had to be filled with blood for the test. Unfortunately, the nurse wasn�t getting enough flood from the first prick, so she did a second that worked a good deal better. Felicity screamed through most of it and it sure seemed to hurt mommy too. The test was mandatory (with exception only for religious purposes which I don�t think we qualify for), but still an experience my girls would rather have skipped completely. When it was finally over, the nurse wrapped her back up in the blanket and gave her to mommy who sat in a glider and held her close, feeling terrible for letting this happen to her beautiful baby. A different lady came who insisted the baby be put back into her bed, but mommy held onto her hand the whole way. From what Merrilee has read, it isn�t a required test in other states and doesn�t seem worth what they went through. Perhaps we�ll find a way to get out of it next time.
Felicity had stopped crying by the time the girls got back to me, but mommy looked pretty badly shaken. We were left alone and I held mommy who had a difficult time trying to describe what happened. I didn�t ask her to continue when she started crying again, and it seems that she thinks it was worse than going through labor. A little band-aid was the only evidence that our princess had suffered at all.
An hour or two later, we were told that we could take our girly home. We were sleepy and excited, and it was around 11 pm already. I got to have to the fun responsibility of loading all our stuff into a red wagon (plastic, not radio flyer) so I could wheel it down to our car. I was surprised again by how much stuff we had brought with us, and it took quite a good deal maneuvering to get it all down and into the car.
Once the car was packed, I went back for the rest of the stuff (including mommy and baby) and brought the car seat with me. They won�t let you go home if you don�t have one, so I can�t tell you how glad I was now more than ever that we did. Baby in car seat, mommy holding her in wheelchair, daddy carrying flowers, purse, and probably other stuff I can�t think of, and down we went to escape the place of our daughter�s birth.
It was about as cold as you would expect for 11pm Halloween morning, but Felicity didn�t seem to mind. I pulled the car up to the hospital, the girls were wheeled out, I put the baby in the back, mommy in the front, turned on the heater, and we were finally headed home. I don�t think I have ever been more cautious in my driving, either. Despite the fact that we were leaving hours later than we had hoped, I was secretly glad of it because there was little to no traffic. The same goes for our arrival (I had predicted a night-time labor too!) and our trip home was smooth and easy.
It felt as though we had been gone for several days, though it was only 3 hours short of a full day in reality. Bringing in all that stuff from the hospital left our home looking less than tidy, but we were just too tired and looking forward to sleep. I think this is the point where I mention that we haven�t slept more than 4 hours at one time since then and THAT is consider good sleep today.
After a feeding and a changing, we put Felicity into her bassinet and started to climb into bed when she awoke and started fussing. We picked her up and tried to console her, but she only wanted to be fed or changed (or so we thought). Every time daddy or mommy would hold that pink little bundle of squish she�d start to fall asleep until we put her down again, and she was up and ready to go for another round.
I think hospitals put something in the air conditioning to make it so babies are cooperative and calm, because she seemed quite different now that she was home where we wouldn�t have any professional help at our beck and call. We couldn�t make her happy, she wouldn�t stay asleep, and she seemed intent to nurse even if she wasn�t eating. After prayerful consideration, I think it was mommy who realized that our tiny princess just wanted to be held (I should have guessed, since she�s just like mommy and daddy), and we put her in bed with us. Not only did she sleep, but she kept sleeping. A phone call to Aunt Joyce around 5:30 am (she�d be up) confirmed that mommy was acting as a pacifier along with her other duties, and that there was nothing wrong at all.
Since then our little wiggly babe has helped us get used to being awake and attending her needs. It has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done, and I can understand why people are reluctant to have children considering every trial I�ve written about. But there is something so divinely wonderful about holding this beautiful baby that I would gladly suffer through it all again (and I probably will several more times if mommy has anything to say about it). She has given me a new perspective on life and she hasn�t even been alive a full week yet. I have found new purpose to my work as the provider for our family and as support to my lucky little wife. Every day brings new joys in different ways, whether it is in a tiny smile while she sleeps, or the messy diaper she wants to share all over daddy. Christmas came early for daddy.
We have been blessed by so many people and their support is very much appreciated. I am so grateful to my wife for sacrificing so much for something so worthwhile. This experience has given me renewed respect and admiration for all mothers, especially my own. Having a baby has been worthwhile in a way only a parent can know and I am proud to count myself among the fathers of the world.
