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November 4, 2005
Next Time...
It has come to my attention recently that one of my hobbies has garnered some local attention. That hobby is singing karaoke. I do this twice a week - Tuesday night at the Scoreboard Sports Bar and Wednesday night at the Hideaway (both in Big Rapids, MI). On rare occasions I may go to Morley on Thursday night and sing at the Moe-Z Inn. These are, by no coincidence at all, the nights that M.E. Entertainment puts on the show at these locations.
There appear to be regular customers at these places who have begun to spread the word about me. In fact, there is a web page hosted by Ferris State University created by some of my fans. I appreciate the gesture, though I'm not entirely sure that I deserve it.
Let me give you the scoop in my own words, in a light that is as positive as possible without becoming too arrogant. I don't claim to be the best karaoke performer in the world; I don't even claim to be the best karaoke performer in the area. I do claim, however, to be the only human being in the vicinity with not only the ability but - and this may be more important - the balls to sing in the style of AC/DC lead singers Brian Johnson and Bon Scott. My reputation, as it were, now demands that once a night I must stand up in front of the crowd and scream out one of their best-known hits, including Stiff Upper Lip, For Those About To Rock (We Salute You), Sin City, Girls Got Rhythm, Back In Black, You Shook Me All Night Long, Hells Bells, Big Balls and Thunderstruck.
However, I cannot limit myself to one band, or even one specific musical style. I will also sing the hits of KISS, Aerosmith, Queen, "Weird Al" Yankovic, and every so often I'll throw in something different just for kicks. I've done songs by Van Halen, Poison, Styx, Guns 'N' Roses, Metallica, Black Sabbath, The Eagles, Sir Mix-A-Lot, Bon Jovi, The Offspring, Def Leppard, Twisted Sister, Michael Jackson, The Cars, Meat Loaf, Tom Petty, and even Eminem. As you can see, I'm an oldskool rock'n'roller at heart.
When I step up to the mike, I am fully aware that there may be as many as five dozen people in the bar. I'm not nervous when I perform, though, because I am there to entertain only one person: myself. If you like what I'm doing, great. If not, fine. I do what I do, and then I usually shrink into a little corner with a book. Why? Because I'm hardly a social creature, and I'm far from a chick magnet, and - worst of all - I don't drink alcohol. I also tend to dance exactly the way one might expect a sober white nerd to dance, which is why I do not.
Anyway, the great majority of my interests are referenced in the Stuff link at the beginning of every page. I am also big into reading a number of sci-fi and fantasy novels. At the same time, I am writing a few of my own, as well as several dozen rock and roll songs and stand-up comedy material. I like to think that I am much more intelligent than I appear to be, and I can't be a slave droid forever. With any luck in this world, these pursuits will be my personal key to financial independence. From there, I can look for happiness on my own.
Incidentally, if anyone knows people with similar musical interests who would be willing to play guitars, bass and drums in order to help me form the rock band I've imagined, feel free to contact me during karaoke night - preferably when I'm not singing.
Jax Mandrake