Once again, I hope you enjoy the jokes and stuff!
Some jokes about the Spice Girls... Q: What is the best thing about getting a blow job from a Spice Girl? A: 10 minutes of silence. Q: What do you do if a Spice Girl hurls a grenade at you? A: Take out the pin and throw it back. Q: What did the Spice Girl's mum say to her daughter's date? A: If you're not in bed by 11 go home. Q: What do you call a Spice Girl behind a steering wheel? A: An air-bag. Q. What's the difference between an intelligent Spice Girl and a UFO? A. Dunno - never seen either! Q: What is the difference between a Spice Girl and a 747? A: Not everyone has been inside a 747. Q: Why do the Spice Girls smile when there's lightning? A: They think they are getting their photo taken. Q: How many Spice Girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they only screw in cars. Q: What do a turtle and a Spice Girl have in common? A: Put them on their back and they're both screwed. Q: Why do Spice Girls have TGIF on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First. Q: Why do Spice Girls have TGIF on their shirts? A: Tits Go In Front. Q: Why don't Spice Girls eat bananas? A: They can't find the zipper. Q: How do you know when a Spice Girl has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. Q: What do a Spice Girl and a beer bottle have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up. Q: Why did the Spice Girls get so excited after they finished a jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years". Q: Why do Spice girls wear loop earrings? A: So they have a place to rest their ankles.
Q: What is the best thing about getting a blow job from a Spice Girl? A: 10 minutes of silence. Q: What do you do if a Spice Girl hurls a grenade at you? A: Take out the pin and throw it back. Q: What did the Spice Girl's mum say to her daughter's date? A: If you're not in bed by 11 go home. Q: What do you call a Spice Girl behind a steering wheel? A: An air-bag. Q. What's the difference between an intelligent Spice Girl and a UFO? A. Dunno - never seen either! Q: What is the difference between a Spice Girl and a 747? A: Not everyone has been inside a 747. Q: Why do the Spice Girls smile when there's lightning? A: They think they are getting their photo taken. Q: How many Spice Girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they only screw in cars. Q: What do a turtle and a Spice Girl have in common? A: Put them on their back and they're both screwed. Q: Why do Spice Girls have TGIF on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First. Q: Why do Spice Girls have TGIF on their shirts? A: Tits Go In Front. Q: Why don't Spice Girls eat bananas? A: They can't find the zipper. Q: How do you know when a Spice Girl has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. Q: What do a Spice Girl and a beer bottle have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up. Q: Why did the Spice Girls get so excited after they finished a jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years". Q: Why do Spice girls wear loop earrings? A: So they have a place to rest their ankles.
A: 10 minutes of silence.
Q: What do you do if a Spice Girl hurls a grenade at you?
A: Take out the pin and throw it back.
Q: What did the Spice Girl's mum say to her daughter's date?
A: If you're not in bed by 11 go home.
Q: What do you call a Spice Girl behind a steering wheel?
A: An air-bag.
Q. What's the difference between an intelligent Spice Girl and a UFO?
A. Dunno - never seen either!
Q: What is the difference between a Spice Girl and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been inside a 747.
Q: Why do the Spice Girls smile when there's lightning?
A: They think they are getting their photo taken.
Q: How many Spice Girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they only screw in cars.
Q: What do a turtle and a Spice Girl have in common?
A: Put them on their back and they're both screwed.
Q: Why do Spice Girls have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: Why do Spice Girls have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits Go In Front.
Q: Why don't Spice Girls eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.
Q: How do you know when a Spice Girl has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: What do a Spice Girl and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why did the Spice Girls get so excited after they finished a jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years".
Q: Why do Spice girls wear loop earrings?
A: So they have a place to rest their ankles.
Rules To Live By Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week. I almost had a psychic boyfriend but he left me before we met. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. I intend to live forever - so far, so good. I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough! Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb! Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States. Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week. I almost had a psychic boyfriend but he left me before we met. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. I intend to live forever - so far, so good. I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough! Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb! Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States. Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.
I almost had a psychic boyfriend but he left me before we met.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Top ten things men would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day: 10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers. 9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half. 8. See if they could finally do splits. 7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet. 6. Cross their legs without rearranging. 5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes BEFORE closing time. 4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first. 3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video. 2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too. And, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina... 1. Finally find that damned G-spot.!!!!!
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers. 9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half. 8. See if they could finally do splits. 7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet. 6. Cross their legs without rearranging. 5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes BEFORE closing time. 4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first. 3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video. 2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too. And, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina... 1. Finally find that damned G-spot.!!!!!
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too.
And, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina... 1. Finally find that damned G-spot.!!!!!
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.!!!!!
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or death in the immediate family (with a note from that member). A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settled down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"
The class breaks up laughing, and when they settled down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie- The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and still feels unwipped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear, so you won't ruin them with a stain. Second Wave Poopie- This happens when you're done poopieing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to poopie some more. Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie- The kind were you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke. Lincoln Log Poopie- The kind of poopie that is so huge, your afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush. Gassy Poopie- It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling. Corn Poopie- Self explanatory. Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie-Poopie- The kind where you want to poopie, but all you do is sit on the toilet & fart a few times. Spinal Tap Poopie- That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving sideways. Wet Cheeks Poopie- (The power dump) The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get spalshed with water. Liquid Poopie- The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl. Mexican Poopie- It smells so bad your nose burns. Upper Class Poopie- The kind of poopie that doesen't smell. The Suprise Poopie- You are not even at the toilet because you are sure your about to fart, but OOPS!- a poopie!
Clean Poopie- The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and still feels unwipped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear, so you won't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave Poopie- This happens when you're done poopieing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to poopie some more.
Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie- The kind were you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
Lincoln Log Poopie- The kind of poopie that is so huge, your afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
Gassy Poopie- It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling.
Corn Poopie- Self explanatory.
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie-Poopie- The kind where you want to poopie, but all you do is sit on the toilet & fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Poopie- That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving sideways.
Wet Cheeks Poopie- (The power dump) The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get spalshed with water.
Liquid Poopie- The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
Mexican Poopie- It smells so bad your nose burns.
Upper Class Poopie- The kind of poopie that doesen't smell.
The Suprise Poopie- You are not even at the toilet because you are sure your about to fart, but OOPS!- a poopie!
One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have a $80,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas." Christmas came around, and Johnny asked again.The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry about that. Ask me again some other time." Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father asked him why he was leaving. The boy said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were pulling out, and mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, and DAMN if I'll get stuck with an $80,000 mortgage!"
Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have a $80,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas."
Christmas came around, and Johnny asked again.The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry about that. Ask me again some other time."
Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father asked him why he was leaving.
The boy said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were pulling out, and mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, and DAMN if I'll get stuck with an $80,000 mortgage!"
A man was approached by coworker at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work. The coworker suggested a way to overcome that problem: "When you get home tonight, sneek into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties, and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention that you were out late with the boys."
So the man agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself.
Late that night, he sneeked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's panties, and gave her oral sex. She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realized he had to take a leak, so he told he he'd be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on the john.
"How did you get in here?" he asked.
"Shhhhh!!!" she replied, "you'll wake-up my mother!"
Q: How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to hold the bulb, and another to drink until the room spins. Q: Why does it take 4 women with PMS to change a light bulb? A: IT JUST DOES, OKAY!?!?! Q: How many fireflies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. How they got in there we don't know. Q: How many Spoiled Brats does it take to change a light bulb? A: one, the brat just holds the bulb and waits for the whole world to revolve around them. Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three, One to screw it in and two to sue for unsafe working conditions. Q: How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One, he just screws real bad and then has to brag about what a good job he did later. Q: How many graduate students does it take? A: One, but it takes six years. Q: How many deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They just let it burn out then follow it around for twenty years. Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? A: "Don't trouble yourself, dear. I'll just sit here in the dark." Q: How many AOL subscribers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None...all of them are waiting for the new art to be added!
A: Two. One to hold the bulb, and another to drink until the room spins.
Q: Why does it take 4 women with PMS to change a light bulb?
A: IT JUST DOES, OKAY!?!?!
Q: How many fireflies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. How they got in there we don't know.
Q: How many Spoiled Brats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: one, the brat just holds the bulb and waits for the whole world to revolve around them.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three, One to screw it in and two to sue for unsafe working conditions.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, he just screws real bad and then has to brag about what a good job he did later.
Q: How many graduate students does it take?
A: One, but it takes six years.
Q: How many deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They just let it burn out then follow it around for twenty years.
Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "Don't trouble yourself, dear. I'll just sit here in the dark."
Q: How many AOL subscribers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None...all of them are waiting for the new art to be added!
� 2000 [email protected] If you have any good jokes, email them to me and maybe I'll post them!