-There is no I in team.
-There is no I in me, either.
-There isn't an I in teamwork, but there is an ewok.
-Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
-We have enough youth... how about a fountain of smart?
-Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
-A hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong.
-Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
-Some people's minds are like concrete -- all mixed up and permenently set.
-Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
-The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
-Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
-The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
-Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.
-A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
-If you make people think they�re thinking, they�ll love you; but if you really make them think they�ll hate you.
-Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn
-He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
-If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
-A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
-Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
-The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
-Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
-Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
-Blessed are the censors; they shall inhibit the earth.
-To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many people is research.
-Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
-The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
-If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.
-Youth and skill are no match for experience and treachery.
-Laugh alone, and the world thinks you're an idiot.
-Few women admit their age; fewer men act it.
-When life gives you a lemon, say "Lemons? I like lemons. What else have you got, huh?"
-Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all of its students.
-Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
-When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
-Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
-Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
-A Smith & Wesson beats four aces every time.
-Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
-Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill.
-War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
-Make it idiot-proof, and someone will make a better idiot.
-Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
-Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
-There are 3 kinds of people; those who can count, and those who can't.
-Always take the time to smell the roses and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
-It's always darkest before dawn... so if you're going to steal the neighbor's paper, that's the time to do it.
-All that glitters has a high refractive index.
-Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
-The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
-Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.