If the Carnevale Nutcrackers Spoke...

It's a grand old nutcracker Christmas party!

"Stand aside, foolish little man! I must hang this garland on the tree!"
"Not if I can get this silly reindeer ornament on there, first!"

"GAAAAH!! I can't get these lights untangled!!"

"Hey, check out the new guy! Ha ha ha ha ha!!"

"I suppose you're all wondering how I lost my foot... Well, it was the summer of 1843, and..."
"Oh no, not again..."

"Hey kids! I got a little surprise for you..."

"AAAAAAAALE!!! Cool!! Thanks, Uncle No-Nose!"

"It's even better than egg nog!"

"Here, Ludovic-the-East-German-Nutcracker, I got you a foam pillow
so you won't ruin your strange fluffy hair!"
"Vy, zhank you, No-Noze, you arre a real vriend!"

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!!!"

"That was the year I lost the other half of my mustache... I was in the Crimea when a giant wild animal leapt upon my tent and..."

"So, what brings you over to this silly oversized bin of paper clips?"
"I'm just trying to avoid Colonel Valiant's war stories. What is it with this group and war stories??"
"... Dude. We're all nutcrackers."

"Let us down!! We won't hurt you!!! We sweeeeear!!"
"HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!"