Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven't talked to you in so long. I've been really busy at school. And there's this boy I like. He's really hot. I'm going over too his house tonight and I think he might try to kiss me. HEHE. That would be so grose. I've been a very bad girl, I've barely watched any of conference. My friend Kerri tryed to get me to drink a beer on friday. I said no way. I'm way to young for that sort of stuff. And my bishop would kill me. My little brother got out of the hspasluaose.... urgh... what's happening too me.sajl;ekjsetaewohj

What the fuck was that? I must be channeling the souls of thirteen year old morman girls again. Freaks...
So... anyhoo... How is everyone today. Excellent. I've brought you all here today to discuss just how much I enjoy cupcakes... infact I like them so much I'm off to get some right now...

fifteen minutes later

Ummm... ello. YOur still here? well you are very patient... good for you. Well since your still here we can talk about something else that's on my mind.

I'm begining to consider the importants of this form of human relationship. It's a very complex thing friendship. Far more difficult to pull of then being a lover, or an enemy. Atleast with those two states you always know where you stand. It's easy. Being friends isn't.
Example: your suppose to love your friends, but you can't be thier lover.
This is one that usually fucks me up. I can't help but to fall for some of my friends. ANd why shouldn't I. One shouldn't date friends... we're suppose to date strangers... people we don't know, instead of the people we already know and get along with. Sex ruins friendships. right. got that. But sex ruins everything. so what's the big woop.
It's hard to find people that you really get on with. I called a dating service last night. Not cause I'm lonely... I am lonely but that's not why I called. Infact I was with one of those "friend" thingies when I did it. She called the line too. I was listening to some of those horrible dateless people. And it struck me, how different they all were. Some sounded very attractive. Some sounded like hippo's disguised as humans so they could work in our country. SOme were sweet. Some were obvious serial killers. But they were all lonely. No love. the reason they were there was because the didn't have a lover. But I can bet every single one of them had friends. So why the fuck weren't they dating them? Everyone has heard, and probably used those "lets just be friends" or "our friendship is just to gosh darn special to ruin it with sex" excuses. Every once and a while we say these things and mean them. But why? I think it's because we've all been in bad relationships, we end up hating ex-lovers and we just don't want to feel that way about our good friends that we love. But here's a thought. Maybe everthing wouldn't end up so fucking bad all the time if we weren't trying to love complete strangers. THat's what causes most relationship problems anyways, not really knowing what kind of person your partner turns out to be. So wouldn't it make more sence to date people you already know, that you know you get along with. call me wacky. It seems like alot of times we go looking for lovers, meat people, try to hump them, and if that doesn't work we make them friends... shouldn't we go out looking for friends, and if that does work out then make them our lovers... just a thought. Besides I'm fucking sick of all these friends. I've already got tons of "friends". what I really need now is a blow-job...

anyhoo... if you'll excuse me I'm off to eat green jello and watch tapes of Conferance. I should really talk to my bishop while I'm at it.

Keep it Sleazy... 1