"The dilemma is this: can our society arrive at a different system of values to replace those of religion?"
"The dilemma is this: can our society arrive at a different system of values to replace those of religion?"
The snotty nosed b*st*rd put his drink down with a sharp ring on the table; he knew what's what.
"F*ck off, you snotty nosed b*st*rd," I said, pretty pleased with my contribution to the debate. I smashed my drink down with the same air of knowing what's what. Unfortunately, being quite pissed at this point in the evening, I only succeeded in spilling half my pint over the snotty bastard's feet.
"Of course if we can, you obviously haven't experienced such a system." He shook his feet a little morosely. I watched sadly. I didn't think I could afford another pint.
"Art is a possible solution, but the problem facing us is that we need buy-in from society as a whole and that manifestly is not the case with art in the high sense. Now Hollywood cinema, or some such lowest common denominator, might have that buy-in, but is produced solely to make money and so reflects the values that make such an activity attractive. Unfortunately it seems to be winning out." He paused. "You wouldn't happen to have a loan of a fiver?"
I shook my head regretting more than ever the spillage.
"Well," he sighed philosophically. "Any hash?"
I shook my head again. This was partly an attempt to empty the Atlantic swishing around inside it.
"God, what kind of god-forsaken crowd have I fallen in with!"
"What about drink?"
"I thought you had no money."
"No," I persisted; "What about drink as a source of values?"
He stared at me as if a turbot had just initiated conversation. He wasn't far wrong. I could have sworn one fell out my earhole.
"Do I understand you to be proposing a system of ethical and aesthetic values based on intoxication or the cause thereof?" He twisted his mouth scornfully.
"Well?" I asked.
He thought a moment, switching the scornful mouth action to his brows. "I don't know. Do you think?"
"Well," I proposed, "everyone does it, everyone knows what you're talking about when they do it and, and�and!"
I hadn't quite wanted to end on that note, but another rush of tide brought things to a head.
Again he scrunched up his forehead.
"I suppose there is a pretty clear demarcation between good and ill in the alcoholic scheme of things. I mean if you're not ill then it's good!"
I nodded.
"And as you say it is pretty ubiquitous, a ritual understood by all. We will have some trouble with Muslims though."
I nodded again testing my mouth as a possible egress for the oceanic forces within.
"But then all great innovations require some time and persuasion. Yes, my dear Bertie, once again you have proven yourself a more than adequate leader of men."
I nodded again with pleasure, proving my mouth indeed to be an egress and ultimately proving myself a very bad boy.