Now begins the hard part. I never have been good at talking about myself or feelings, just ask my husband. I started with what most kids in the 70's did.... cigarettes and beer. It seemed harmless enough, just a typical young adult. Well, it didn't take long until that progressed into drugs. I was always to scared to try any of the "hard" stuff. Years went by and my life went no where. I married someone who, although was saved, was also a drug user, what I didn't know then was he was also prone to drug addiction. We had two children, and we actually thought (in our drug induced stuper, I guess) that our kids didn't know what we were doing! What fools we were!! Just because we never did it in front of them, we thought we were being good parents. What a crock!!! I have my mother-in-law to thank because she always came by and took the kids to church. Definately a saving grace, both our children are saved and don't do drugs. Time passed seemingly uneventfully until 1994. By this time I was beginning to realize I was a user, not an addict. We had both about given up on our drug use, but then the roof caved in when my husband smoked some cocaine. Not realizing at the time, I was blinded to what was happening. I thought I would lose my mind during that time. It's hard to go to work and wonder what would be missing from the house. But the hardest part were the broken promises. The "I'll never do it again" 's. The only thing I had to hold on to was the rememberance that God will not put more on you than you can bare. It was only through God's love and strength that I made it through that ordeal.
It has been almost 6 years now since then, and our lives are as different as night and day. The drugs are competely gone, I've even quit the cigarettes.
The only one who ever helped
was God. He was the only one that could. He let my husband and
me fall deep into that black hole until the only way out was
for us to look up, and the only thing we could see was Him,
His arms outstretched, reaching for us, waiting for us to come
back into the security of His love. We are in church now, every
service. Just hate to miss one!!! I know we have come home
to stay.