Anger Management

Managing anger becomes easier if one briefly knows what causes it, why we get angry

Many incorrectly advocate, says science, that anger is healthy ~it is feeling fear or pressure and often a cry for affection or in helplessness -it is not one's own fault.. it is easy to overcome.

Anger results when in an achievement-oriented task one feels inadequate, or when motive is low but pressure or need high, or when one feels one is denied the acclaim-attention-love due, or is helpless over irrecoverable loss not come to terms with ~then on those lines automatically chemical changes take place in one's body which irritate the nerve ends in the stomach (why the sick in the stomach, nauseous, feeling too) and cause parathyroid secretions (an extrinsic cause of back-ache which sometimes follows) and adrenal glands to reduce oxygen to brain (why when feeling so one can not think straight) and proportionately to the importance of the matter and the duration of concern the conflicting stimuli to result in alternating states of perception (why sometimes one later thinks that perhaps one over-reacted and feels rather guilty).

Fallacy it is, says science, that expressing anger is good for one -many's belief is incorrect that unexpressed anger might cause hypertension or blood-pressure or depression or become pathological as passive-aggression by indirect confrontation or might develop into a perpetually hostile or cynical personality, for so to do causes aggression to escalate.

It is also a fallacy that anger is so short-term a response as can be rid of by e.g., as traditionally is suggested, 'counting to ten'

-once an emotion causes readiness to act it continues for at least twenty minutes, usually almost an hour, if intense many hours, even a few days (why anger is quicker if already upset).

Control of anger is not of course by bottling it up inside ~and that does not mean that one need brood or fume for hours -but it need not be expressed aggressively -it can be, inaggressively.

One only needs to see an example of how easy it is to control it ~here is one: you are trying to park your car in the parking lot, and another cuts across and parks in the space you were trying to; you are, understandably, annoyed, furious; you get out of the car and walk toward the other car to give that driver a piece of your mind -suddenly you realize that that driver is an acquaintance! So, instead you take a deep breath and say "Oh, hello.. long time no see.. how are you -and the family..?" You have controlled your anger there -and it was so easy to do.

You are feeling angry ~are upset already -another is..? It happens ~but you are a rational being and anger is not rational.

Take a deep breath ~from the stomach -it sends oxygen to brain ~say 'I am rather upset now -can discuss it later' -will calm by then. Remember the example above ~it is so easy -and you can.

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