When my article "Is Santa Corrupting Our Children's Morals?" appeared in the Fall 1991 FREE INQUIRY, I expected a few letters to the editor in response. The reaction caught me completely by surprise. The story of my heresy spread like wild fire. At least one hundred newspapers picked up the story, many of which called me for interviews. I appeared on three television shows and was interviewed on about twenty-five radio shows, including the British Broadcasting Company, Voice of America and stations in Hong Kong, Australia, New Zealand, and Canada. My mailbox bulged with resoponses. I was showered with a plethora of abusive terms, the mildest of which were grinch and scrooge. Other people offered their wholehearted support and even congratulated me for my "courage." Stations frequently began the interviews by warning parents to tune to another station if children were listening. A few irate subscribers canceled their subscriptions to the Providence Journal when it ran a story about my views on their front page.
I was recognized on the street from my picture, which had appeared next to Santa's on the front page of the Journal. In Rhode Island, I had become known as the "Kingston grinch," Kingston being the home of the University of Rhode Island where I teach ethics. I was the bad guy who wanted to ruin Christmas for children. My family, friends, and colleagues were confronted in shops and hallways and asked to give an account of my "outrageous" position.
Most adults vehemently denied that they were lying when they perpetuated the Santa Claus myth, and, in that patronizing manner adults often take toward children, added that even if they were it didn't matter because young children couldn't tell the difference between fantasy and truth anyway. Their position was sometimes further bolstered by the claim that real life is bleak and devoid of any joy and that Christmas could only be made fun for children through a lie.
Oddly, it seemed to be the adults, not the children, who had the biggest problem distinguishing between a lie and a fantasy. Of the many letters I received, my favorite was a package of twenty-one letters from a class of sixth graders in Texas who had been asked by their teacher as a language assignment to respond to my article. Unlike parents, the great majority of whom strongly supported the Yuletide deception, only four of the students found the position acceptable. Ten totally agreed with my position, while the remaining seven expressed mixed feelings. Half wrote that it was wrong of parents to tell them Santa was a real person because, in the words of one, "It's a lie and parents shouldn't lie to their children." Five students added that lying hurts children's feelings and that when they found out they've been lied to they felt let down. Several were uncomfortable with their parents having used Santa as a "threat" or "bribe" to get them to behave.
On the other hand, one of the students who believed in keeping the Santa tradition alive wrote that she was "impressed with how they [her parents] had tricked me for four years." Others pointed out that children who did not believe would be considered "oddballs." "What if your kids go to daycare and tell everyone (Santa isn't real)," one concerned child wrote, "and they tell their parents? It might start an argument or fight." While few mentioned that it made Christmas more fun, none wrote of any positive effects of believing that Santa was a real person had on their imagination. Only parents seemed taken in by the illogical claim that they could stimulate their children's powers of fantasy by telling them Santa was real and not a fantasy figure.
One reporter from a Boston television station asked my oldest daughter if she felt she had been deprived at Christmas because she didn't "believe in Santa Claus" like the other children. My daughter replied that, on the contrary, it was the other kids who had missed out on the fun. It's rare, she continued, when parents take the time to play pretend with their children. Christmas was one time our whole family played at make-believe together.
One reason people lie is to gain power over those they deceive by keeping them in the dark about what is actually happening. Because it benefits him or her, lying almost always seems more justified in the eyes of the liar than from the vantage point of those who have been deceived. However, deception all too often backfires. Among the many clippings sent to me on the subject of Santa Claus was one from a medical newsletter on children and stress. It stated that, while Christmas is the most stressful time of the year for adults because of having to buy gifts and spend time with people they'd rather not see, it is also stressful, although less obviously so, for children. While Santa, we are told, "knows" everything, young children often need immediate feedback to know whether they've "been good or bad." For the 85 percent of children who believe that Santa only brings gifts to good boys and girls, the uncertainty about their status with Santa in the weeks before Christmas can be just as stressful as it is for parents who have to fork out the cash for the gifts on their children's lists. No wonder everyone is so happy when Christmas morning finally arrives and the Santa deception at last is over.
The Christmas season should be a time of good feelings and fellowship, not of bribes and financial hardship. I'm more convinced than ever that it's time to stop lying and return the jolly old elf to the realm of fun and fantasy so we can all get on with enjoying the Christmas season. It's also time we started showing children more respect year-round. The reaction provoked by the Santa contraversy has got me thinking about writing a book on lies parents tell their children. Are there any experiences or ideas readers would like to share?
Please send your letters to Readers' Forum, P.O. Box 664, Buffalo, NY 14226.
[Source: Free Inquiry: Spring 1992, Vol. 12, No.2]
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