My worst fears of course are being alone. While I don't mind, having my own personal space and alone time.... it does become a loathsome time when it becomes night after night after night after night.
Tonight, I was lucky to find someone to talk with my feelings about. She helped put it in to perspective, and suggest a few things that I might try when I started feeling like this. One of which I already do.... which is talk to the wall, taking both sides of the conversation. Before anyone calls me crazy, realize how many times you have done the same thing with the wall, pet, stuffed animal, etc.. And yes, it does work, but after so often, you can only come up with so many answers to your own questions, so you need an outside perspective, which is what I needed tonight.
There are a couple of things happening this week that has the chance of breaking my current depression cycle, which usually last anywhere from 3 days to 2 weeks. So I'm trying to be optimistic about that. We'll see what happens....
As for the rest of tonight.... I'm going to bed. My current drunkeness is to blame for the amplified effects of my feelings, and tomorrow should be somewhat redeeming. So if you are feeling utter helplessness, try talking to the wall, pet, or stuffed animal, AND take both sides of the conversation with equal force, and you'll be surprised how much better you'll feel.... just remember do it privately, lest someone walk-in on you and call you a complete psycho.
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Why Me?