(Money, money, money, must be funny, in a rich man's world. - ABBA)
I heard this story from my mother. But as so often happens, she told it in bits and pieces over the
course of a few days. And I still remember it? Hey, that's nothing. I have heard a story in bits and pieces
over several months, and even years and, I still remember them. I have a good ear for gossip.
My mother was telling this story to my aunt. These two are probably the gossipiest bunch in the
world. I made sure to stay close-by whenever my aunt came to visit. They would talk on and on for days.
They would still be telling stories as my aunt was leaving. Many a time I performed murderous chores in
the kitchen where they sat, just so I could hear the stories. If they ever noticed I was listening, they would
stop and order me out of the kitchen. But I became quite good at listening without being noticed. I would
screw my face up as though I were paying great attention to the pot I was scrubbing. My aunt knew me to
be very hardworking.
Well, the story went like this. It's a story that happened to a friend of my mother's. We shall call
this friend of hers, Grace. Grace and her husband were quite wealthy. Grace's sister Lucy, was married to
a guy called Lee, who was quite the most unfortunate man that ever lived I should say. He had no ill will
towards people and always wanted to do good. But he was a man for whom things somehow never
happened quite the way he expected. Time and time again, the poor man tried his hand at one business
idea after another, and they all ended up in a stack in the back of his garage. So, Grace was more than
glad to lend him the money, to try to get himself back on his feet. But Lee had thrown plenty of good
money in the toilet - literally. He had an idea to make toilets that cleaned themselves. However, the toilets
spilled too much water and sprayed some into the air as well. Needless to say, the housewives who saw
this demonstration at the fair were not at all impressed. And that was the end of that. But Grace lent him
the money anyway. She had enough to burn as it were.
Grace had mastered the art of lending money to relatives who were in the first place embarrassed
at having to borrow it. She always managed to keep her conversations with Lee as short and painless as
possible. So, Grace made it very easy for him. In under ten minutes, Lee was usually out of the house.
So, what did Lee do with the money? That was my aunt inquiring. But right then, my mother broke off
telling her story. Something had distracted her. Either the cow was mooing again for more grass, or the
neighbor's dog, Joe, had come into our compound through the opening under the fence and was making a
beeline for our Pebbles (who happened to be on heat at that moment). The story was therefore stopped for
the time being. - It turned out later that it was the neighbors' dog, and not the cow. That night I heard my
mother exasperatedly telling my father that he really had to call the vet to get Pebbles sterilized. Poor Joe,
I thought.
A few days later, I caught my aunt and my mother just as they were resuming the telling of the story.
Well, Lee had needed the money, but not for one of his hare-brained projects. He did leave a note though,
for his wife. The next morning after he had borrowed the money, they found him at the end of the garden,
sitting up still against a tree. His eyes still open, and pieces of his brain sticking out from the opposite end
of his head. The Smith & Wesson was lying next to him. He'd bought it with the money loaned him by
Grace.
THE END