Both of our childhoods, although vastly different, were very much the same. A single parent guided us through life as best they could. We became who we are as Vegas became our common ground and then we met. An introvert and an extrovert. The result? A friendship beyond measure. A love quietly unnoticed by many.
The past is so familiarBut that's why you couldn't stay
So many years together, so many memories. Ghosts of the past greet and haunt our dreams. How do we find our way? I remember hearing how Warrick described our investigative methods- scientific experimentation versus pounding the pavement.
How closely that resembles the way our personal troubles are solved. I tried to help you and you did your best to assist me, but we were just too different despite the sameness.
Too many ghosts, too many haunted dreamsBesides you were meant to find your own way...
For over twenty years, we have grown with each other. Together we have survived many things. An abusive spouse, a stalker, surgery, the loss of someone once loved, an explosion, a kidnapping. You were the one to help me out more often than I would help you. I did my best, but you know me. You were the one with better interpersonal skills. We finally admitted to what we had and for awhile it was good.
I wonder when it started. Did I ignore you too often? I try to reach out to you, but I see you retreat into the shell I thought was gone. There is so much history and pain, but I cannot erase it from your mind. Nor can it be erased from mine.
But after all these years, I thought we'd still hold onBut when I reach for you and search your eyes
I see you've already gone...
I have loved from afar. Now, I can say I have loved up close as well. Is it possible to weather the same storm twice? We were good, my love, but there is too much to try and overcome. I understand that what once was can be no longer.
That's OKI'll be fine
I've got myself, I'll heal in time
But when you leave just remember what we've had...
Disappointment, anger, hurt, frustration. It is all part of the healing process when the end comes. In the end the world keeps turning and life goes on. You taught me that before you handed me the papers. There will be days that it will hurt, but I know I will survive.
There's more to life than just youI may cry but I'll make it through
And I know that the sun will shine again
Though I may think of you every now and then...
We are like a phoenix and from the ashes of life we rise again. There is death of the old and as the wind gently blows away the debris, new layers of understanding and life are revealed. There is grief and tears, but in the end ashes cannot give the answers we seek.
Can't do a thing with ashesBut throw them to the wind...
All that is left is to pick up the pieces and begin anew. It is like recreating a crime scene, each time is different, but also easier. There's a saying that gets tossed around whenever something tragic happens- what does not kill you makes you stronger. I have seen it in action in the course of our jobs and trust that this will one day strengthen me. I have no regrets and neither should you. Do not look back, although I want you to. I do not think I can survive if you do.
Though this heart may be in pieces nowYou know I'll build it up again and
I'll come back stronger than I ever did before
Just don't turn around when you walk out that door...
Time will pass and each day it woll be easier. What we were will always be part of us even though our time has passed. I wish it could have been forever, but that, my dearest, shall never be. Your bags are packed and we have that awkward silence that plagued our early years.
That's OKI'll be fine
I've got myself, I'll heal in time
But when you leave just remember what we've had...
We will move on to new experiences, you and I, but there will always be something to remind me of us. At those times your absence will take hold and dark clouds will gather. I will look up to find the patch of blue in all the grey, for I know that someday the sun will shower its rays of warmth and security down upon me.
There's more to like than just youI may cry but I'll make it through
And I know the sun will shine again
Though I may think of you now and then...
The door closes behind you and I am left with the remainders and reminders of our life together. Copies of what the state of Nevada decrees lay on the coffee table. There was little to do, and in the end it was the right thing. I could never make you miserable on purpose. Your eyes as you say goodbye express the guilt that part of me wants you to feel. I cannot say that I did not rejoice. Nor can I say that you do not deserve to feel the guilt of what has happened, but I forgive you and someday I will forgive myself.
I hope you will find the time to forgive me one day. It was not your fault nor was it mine, but life cannot be fair to everyone all the time. We both need time to heal and someday, I know, we will.
That's OKI'll be fine
I've got myself, I'll heal in time
And even though our story's at the end
I still may think of you now and then...