Please for the love of god, try the following:
- Don't click the
Refresh button. Go outside now.
- If you are about to spend anoter $100 at Amazon then please contact Amazon Anonymous.
- To go outside, first click the Cyber Hypnosis menu, and then click Cold Water in the Face.
On the Numb Ass tab, click Sedentary Back Pain.
The Get Out of Your Chair settings should match those provided by your local area network (LAN) administrator.
If your Evil Computer Addict Persona has enabled it,
we can examine your network and quickly discover a way to wake you up from your computer-induced stupor.
- If you would like Windows to try and discover them,
Detect Computer-Induced Stupor.
- There are a host of things awaiting you in the outside world: fishing, skiing, skeet shooting, triatholons,
PTA meetings, and dentist appointments, for example.
- If you are unable to get up,
click here and your power strip will emit a large enough shock to scare you back to your senses. If that doesn't work, then we give up.
You are officially in need of serious help. Dial 0-800-GET-HELP on your computer's keypad to reach a mental hospital near you.
- Click the
Back button to melt your computer.
Cannot find reality files