Special High Intensity Training
TO : All Employees
FROM : Management
SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well
trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone
else.
If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T. on the
job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the
top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at
seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take
D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING
(E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were
promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, they are full of
S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training
others. We can add you name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST
(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get
the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF
INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).
Thank You,
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)
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Submitted by: Naeem Ahmed
Nothing but Jokes by
Nauman Faridi
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