Quotes #9 ================================================ His imagination resembled the wings of an ostrich. It enabled him to run, though not to soar. ( Thomas Babington Macaulay ) ______________________________________________________ His mind is so open that the wind whistles through it. ( Heywood Broun ) ================================================ ================================================ Wall Street is where prophets tell us what will happen and profits tell us what did happen. ______________________________________________________ Personally, I have a diversified portfolio. That's when your money goes down the drain in six different sinks. ================================================ ================================================ Remember the good old days, when it was people who ran amuck -- not faucets ??? ______________________________________________________ Even the ocean is polluted. Last week I pulled a six - pound flounder out to the Atlantic. Today I received a thank - you note from his parents. ______________________________________________________ We've got to do something about water pollution. My kid has a water pistol that Jams !!! ================================================ ================================================ A generation ago there were a thousand men to every opportunity, while today there are a thousand opportunities to every man. ( Henry Ford ) _____________________________________________________ ...... Getting ready is the secret of success. ( Henry Ford ) ______________________________________________________ The haves and the have - nots can often be traced back to the dids and the did - nots. ( D.O. Flynn ) ================================================ ================================================ Everyone thinks of changing the world, but not one thinks of changing himself. ( Tolstoy ) ______________________________________________________ The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. ( Bertrand Russell ) ================================================ ================================================ Wealth can certainly be a curse -- especially if your neighbors have it. ______________________________________________________ What motivated you to become a millionaire ??? I was trying to reach an income my wife and kids couldn't live beyond !!! ================================================ ================================================ I took one of those job - assessment test at work the other day. The report said my aptitudes and abilities were best suited to some form of early retirement. ______________________________________________________ Employee: "When will my raise become effective ???" Boss: "As soon as you are !!!" ================================================ ================================================ We live by words: LOVE, TRUTH, GOD. We fight for words: FREEDOM, COUNTRY, FAME. We die for Words: LIBERTY, GLORY, HONOR. Words: They sing. They hurt. They teach. They sanctify. If a picture is worth a thousand words, please paint me the Gettysburg Address. ( All by Mr. Leo Rosten ) ================================================ ================================================ One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. ( Bertrand Russell ) ______________________________________________________ Idle hands do mischief make. But they don't get dirty either !!! ______________________________________________________ If you hire relatives, you'll have a payroll that won't quit. ( Milton Berle ) ================================================ ================================================ My brother applied for work, but was told by the company that it had more employees than it needed. My brother said, "Don't worry. The little bit of work I do won't be noticed !!!" ( Milton Berle ) ______________________________________________________ I wasn't affected by the crash of 1929. I went broke in '28. ================================================ ================================================ If people really liked to work, we'd still be plowing the ground with sticks and transporting goods on our backs. ( William Feather ) ______________________________________________________ A great man leaves clean work behind him, and requires no sweeper up of the chips. ( Elizabeth Barrett Browning ) ================================================ ================================================ Opportunity doesn't necessarily knock on the door; it may be leaning against the wall waiting to be noticed. ______________________________________________________ The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; the optimist; the optimist, the opportunity in every difficulty. ( L.P. Jacks ) ================================================ ================================================ When I was a young man I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. I didn't want to be a failure, so I did ten times the work. ( George Bernard Shaw ) ______________________________________________________ When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another. ( Helen Keller ) ================================================ ================================================ The battle is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. ( Patrick Henry ) ______________________________________________________ God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into the nest. ( J.G. Holland ) ================================================ ================================================ I like only two kinds of men: domestic and imported ( Mae West ) ______________________________________________________ She may be good for nothing, but she's not bad for nothing. ( Mae West ) ================================================ ================================================ To err is human, but it feels divine. ( Mae West ) ______________________________________________________ You're never to old to get younger. ( Mae West ) ================================================ ___________________________________________________ Nothing but Jokes by Nauman Faridi