Super Contractor It was the night before implementation and all throught the house not a program was working, not even a browse. The programmers hung round their tubes in despair with hopes that a miracle soon would be there. The users were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of inquiries danced in their heads. When out of the cope there arose such a clatter I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter. And what to my wandering eyes should appear but a super contractor with a six pack of beer. His resume glowed with experience so rare he turned out great code with a bit-pushers flair. More rapid than eagles, his programs they came - he whistled and shouted and called them by name; "on update, on add, on enquire, on delete. on batch jobs, on closing, on function complete." His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean from weekends and nights spent in front of the screen. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head soon gave me to know I had nothing dread. He spoke not a word but went straight to his work turning specs into code; then he turned with a jerk and laying his finger upon the enter key, the system came up and worked perfectly. The updates updated, the deletes they deleted, the inquiries inquired, the closing completed. He tested each whistle, he tested each bell, and with nary abend, all had gone well. They system was finished, the tests were concluded, the client's last changes were even included. And the user exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt, "IT'S JUST WHAT I ASKED FOR, BUT NOT WHAT I WANT." Nothing but Jokes by Nauman Faridi