Virus List HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS: Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later in another directory. O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS: You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but you just can't prove it. BILL CLINTON VIRUS: Suddenly appears from nowhere, promises to upgrade all your applicatons, gains control of your computer, then totally corrupts your entire system for four years. GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating, "Read my docs ... no new files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus. LAPD VIRUS: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense." OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB. TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Your system works fine, but it complains loudly about foreign software. POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never identifies itself as a "virus" but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism". ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits. COLIN POWELL VIRUS: Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything. Secretly, you wish it would. AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS: You're in L.A. but your data winds up in Dallas. HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and sends you a bill for $4,500. PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack. Once if by LAN, twice if by C. GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine. DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Their is sumthing rong with your komputer, but ewe can't figyour outt watt! NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it. FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer. GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose 30 percent of their data, 14% of the time (plus or minus a 3.5% margin of error). TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file. ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: our programs can never be found again. CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, and the screen splits in half with the same message appearing on each side of the screen. The message says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side. PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes and ask for money. NIKE VIRUS: Just does it. STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before. Nothing but Jokes by Nauman Faridi