Lawyers and Other Things A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor, and it's so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains - there's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of lawyer brains for the princely sum of $800 an ounce. The outraged lawyer says "This is a rip-off - how come the lawyer brains are so damned expensive?" The doctor replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?" *********************************** The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. "I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling. The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it." ************************************* Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer? A: Chelsea. *************************************** Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicycle. ************************************** A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates. "$50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?" ************************************** ---------- Submitted by: Nasir Majeed Nothing but Jokes by Nauman Faridi