European Commission
The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the EU rather than German,
which was the other possiblilty. As part of the negotiations,
Her Majesty's Govt. conceded that English spelling had some room
for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would
be known as "EuroEnglish."
In the first year,"S" will replace the soft "C". Sertanily, this
will make the sivil servants jump with Joy. The hard "C" will be
dropped in favor of the "K". This should klear up konfusion and
keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik
enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "PH" will be
replaced with the "F". This will make words like fotograf 20%
shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan
be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Government will enkorage the removal of double letters, which
have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that
the horible mes of the silent "E" in the language is disgraseful, and
they should go away. By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing "TH" with "Z" and "W" with "V". During ze fifz yar,
ze unesesary "O" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "OU" and similar
changs vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis
fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!
Nothing but Jokes by
Nauman Faridi
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