With apologies to all those smart, natural blondes out there...... Q: What is tattooed behind a Blonde's left ear? A: Inflate to 50 PSI. Q: How did the Blonde die ice fishing? A: She got run over by the Zamboni. Q: Why was the Blonde proud for finishing a puzzle in only six months? A: The box said "2 to 4 years!" Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? A: They think their picture is being taken. Q: Why do Blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First. Q: How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax? A: It has a stamp on it. Q: Why can't Blondes dial 911? A: They can't find the eleven on the phone! Q: What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you? A: Run like hell, she's got a grenade in her mouth! Q: How do you get a Blonde on the roof? A: Tell her the drinks are on the house. Q: Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them. Two Blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Linda: I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Sylvie: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, it's starting to rain and the top is down! Q: How does a Blonde change a light bulb? A: She holds the bulb in the socket and waits for the world to go around. Q: What do you call an eternity? A: Four Blondes at a four way stop. Q: Why do Blondes like a BMW better than a Chevrolet? A: They can spell BMW. A brunette is standing on some train tracks, jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21". A Blonde walks up, sees her and decides to join her. She also starts jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21". Suddenly, the brunette hears a train whistle, and she jumps off the tracks just as the Blonde is splattered all over the place. The brunette goes back to jumping from rail to rail, counting, "22" "22" "22". Q: What do smart Blondes and UFOs have in common? A: You always hear about them but you never see them. Q: How do you drown a Blonde? A: Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool. Q: Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? A: You have to hollow out the head. Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign it said "Disneyland left" so they turned around and went home. Three Blondes are stuck on a deserted island, when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. She picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pops out. The genie looks at the three Blondes and says, "I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish." Well the first one is tired of being on the island, so she wishes to go back home. POOF!! She disappears. The second one said she too is tired of the island, and wishes to go home. POOF!! She too disappears. The genie then turns to the last Blonde and asks her what her wish is. "Gee," she says, "I'm awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here ..." A Blonde going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. Q: What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of cheerios? A: Oh look, doughnut seeds. Q: How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye? A: Shine a flashlight in her ear. Q: What did the Blonde think of the new computer? A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV. Q: Why don't Blondes like making KOOL-AID? A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet. Q: Why can't Blondes make ice cubes? A: They always forget the recipe. Q: Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter." Q: Why won't they hire Blondes as pharmacists? A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters. ---------- Submitted by: Falak Malik Nothing but Jokes by Nauman Faridi