The Temperature and Physics of Hell
A true story:
A thermodynamics professor had written a take-home exam for his graduate
students. It had one question:
"Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with a proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or
some variant. One student, however wrote the following:
First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate
are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think
that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more
than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell. With
birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in
volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and
volume needs to stay constant.
#1 So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase
until all hell breaks loose.
#2 Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell
freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given me by Therese Banyan
during Freshman year, and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and
hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A.
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Submitted by: Pawan Misra
Nothing but Jokes by
Nauman Faridi
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