Stupid Criminal Stories
A true story out of San Francisco:
It seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked
into the branch and wrote "This iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in
this bag."While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller,
he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might
call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the
Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After
waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was
not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not
accept his stick up note because it was written on a Bank of America
deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated,
the man said "Ok" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the
police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in
line back at Bank of America.
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Also from San Francisco:
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of
$40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
contained another picture...of handcuffs.
======================
Seattle.....
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor
home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the
motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined
to press charges, saying it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
======================
Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering El Paso
from Mexico. They rigged it so propane gas would be released from
all of its valves while the truck concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana.
They were clever, but not bright. They misspelled the name of the
gas company on the side of the truck.
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Oklahoma City...
Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store
in a district court this week when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district
attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending
himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber.
Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should
have blown your [expletive] head off." The defendant paused, then
quickly added, "-if I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20
minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30 year sentence.
=========================
R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing
their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood.
When he asked how the system worked, the officer's asked him for a piece
of identification. Gaitlin give them his driver's license, they entered
it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlin because
information on the screen showed Gaitlin was wanted for a two year old
armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.
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Submitted by: Nasir Majeed
Nothing but Jokes by
Nauman Faridi
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