LAN Humor Something for our IS friends........ Once upon a time, there was a junior LAN administrator, Kevin. Kevin got a new job, assisting an old LAN manager, Tom. One day, the LAN manager came to Kevin and said, "The time has come to pass the LAN into your hands. I will be moving on." Tom handed Kevin three envelopes. The envelopes were plain, except for the numerals 1, 2 and 3 respectively on each. Tom then gave his last bit of advice to the new LAN manager: "You have learned well, but some day there will be a problem that you are unable to handle. When you get into trouble and see no way out, open one envelope and read the contents. Use them sparingly, for there are only three." The two men shook hands for the last time, and the old LAN manager went upon his way, out into the world to conquer new LANs. Kevin did well... his LAN grew and prospered. But, just as the old LAN manager had promised, the day came when the server crashed. No matter what Kevin tried, he couldn't get the server back up. His boss was on his back. Kevin went into his office and closed the door. He sat at his desk and thought to himself, "if ever there was a time, this is it." He opened the bottom drawer, reaching way in the back, selecting the first of the three envelopes. He held it in his hands, looking at the numeral 1 on the front. "Yes, it is time." He tore open the envelope and a piece of paper fell out. Kevin picked up the paper... "Blame previous LAN manager," it said. Kevin pondered the words for a few moments.He then went to the director... "The previous LAN manager had the system so messed up, I haven't had the time to straighten out all the problems." It worked... Kevin eventually got the server back up and his boss bought it and all was right with the world again. Time passed and the LAN was stable. One day, not only the server crashed, but they were struck by a virus. Half of the network was infected. Again, Kevin decided it was time. He closed his office door, reached into the back of his bottom drawer and pulled out number two. Hoping that this would do as well as the first envelope, Kevin tore it open. This time, the paper read "Inadequate training." Again, Kevin went to his boss. "You didn't tell me about these viruses. I've had no training, no exposure. To protect our systems against things like this, I need to attend conferences and classes." Kevin's boss agreed and Kevin began attending every conference and class available. No more viruses, the LAN ran perfectly. Again, time passed flawlessly. Then disaster hit - EVERYTHING crashed... the servers, the bridges, the workstations... everything. Kevin was in real hot water. Everyone from the president on down was on his back... What had happened? Kevin went into his office and closed the door. He thought about the remaining envelope. It was the last one... if ever there were a time, this was it! He took the envelope, removed the paper and read... "Prepare three envelopes." ---------- Submitted by: Naeem Ahmed Nothing but Jokes by Nauman Faridi