I know, I know, I said I wouldn't do lyrics. Well I'm not really.
Thing is I'm writing out four Monkees songs as they are sung. For example, The Kind of Girl I Could Love would be "Thu Kahnd Uv Gurrrrl Ah Curd Lowwwve". Get it? Got it. Good.
First a song by my Nez. Listen to the Band
Haayyy haayyy mursee wummon
Wurn't thaiy gurd, thaiy maed me hyappee
Yah think Yah kein meik id urlown.
Haayyy mursee wummon
Pleyys uh sarng han' noo warn lissurns
Yah need hyelp Ah'm fawleen ugaeun
Pleyy thu drurms uh liddle biddur lowdur
Tyell me thaiy kein leev withowd hur
Yif thaiy ownlee lissurn chew thu bayund
LISSURN CHEW THU BAYUND!
Nyaw, wurn't thaiy gurd, thaiy maed me hyappee
Yah think Yah kein meik id urlown.
Hooohhhhhhhh wummon
Pleyys uh sarng han' noo warn lissurns
Yah need hyelp Ah'm fawleen ugaeun
Pleyy thu drurms jurst uh liddle biddur lowdur
Tyell urs we kein leev withowd hur
Neow thad we haiv lissurnd chew thu bayund
LISSURN CHEW THU BAYUND!
And now for a song by Mr Peter Halsten Thorkelson, Lady's Baby
Laydee's baybee smahls and cooooooooooooooooooossss
Taiks uhwaiy mah lohnlee blooooooooooos
Baybee's mathurr cuks mah meeeheeels
Warrrm an' *gasp* cooooooool is uhreelee reeeeheel
Chorus
Runnin' nevahharhahar uhwas mach fuhuhurhun
Arl it did wurs buring me dahahaahawn
Chasin' uhrownd isun'tah wur it's ahahhaaat
Tenshun puts yew hin thu grahahownd!
Laydee's baybee pools mah haeeeeeeeeair
Lets me know heeeeeeeeee's reely theeherre
Baybee's mathurr TAH chez meheeeee
And at laast Eye rheely seeeheee
Repeat Chorus
Laydee's baybee lets me knohoooohooo
Lyfe wurs ment forr moovin' sloooow.
Baybee's mathurr knows this tooohooohoo
Baybee, Hi lov yeewhoooohooo!
And if that wasn't good enough for you, how about Daydream Believer by Davy Jones?
Orrr, Yah curd hyde
Neeth thu wingzh
Uvvuh blooburd as she sinngzh
Thu shiks uh clok uhlahhm would nevuur rrringuh
Butsits tringzh, handah rahzh
Wahp thu sleep aoooowd uv mah ahs
Mah shevvin' reeyzorrs corhorld andsits zhteengzah
Chorus
Chir ap Sleeeeeeeeeeepie Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen
Whore wot Kyannit meeenah?
Chew uh Dayyydreeeeeem Beeleeevah and uh
Hormcummin' Kweeeeen
Ewe wunse thord uv me
Assur waht naht on uh steed
Bud now ewe nor how happeh Ah cn bee
Wor hand ar gud tahms staht un end
Wither dollurr wun ter shpend
Bud how murch baybeh do weh relleh need?
Repeat chorus to fade
If you're interested, I also have a copy of a song by Mr George Michael Dolenz. It's called Randy Scouse Git, a song very close to my heart for very obvious reasons!
Shez ah wandurfull laydee and shez myne all myne
And there dassnt seem uh wey that she won't camman looz mah mynd
It's tweezy hammin songs too a gahl inner yellow duress
'Sbin uh long tyme since th'pahtee and thu room iz inner mess
Thu for kingsuv EMI ah sidding staytlee onthu floor
Thar ah bahds owdon the sydewak anduh vallay adthu door
He rimmynds meeuvvah pingwin with phewin plastahd har
Thar's talcom powdurr onthu leddah, han' the bahthday boy is thar
Chorus 1
Wah doncha cutchor har?
Wah doncha livvap thar?
Wah doncha doowod Ahdoo
See woddah feeel wennah cah?
Naw they've dakkund orl thu iwndoows
Anthu seets uv nogguh hyde
Ah'v bin wayding for an owwer, Ah cahn't fynd uh plaiss to hyde
Thu beeying noon as Wandahgahl is spicking Ah beeleev
It's nahd eezee tryna tellah thaddaye shortlee hafter leev
Chorus 2
Wah doncha fillyk me?
Wah doncha stoppan see>
Wah doncha haydoo Ahayd
Killoo Ahkil terbee furee?
Repeat Chorus 1 and Chorus 2
Now that that amazing adventure of rubbish spelling is over, I hope you're satisfied that I can indeed sing just like The Monkees, and now you can too!