I want to scream out in frustration because of you.

I look at you, so proud and cocky.

Ruthless.

Blood-lusting.

"No mercy." You would pound into me. Making me learn it through black eyes, speaking it through bloody, swollen lips.

I used to have it. I would run to kaasan and ask for cookies, and bring one to you too. I handed it to you with cheery, hopeful eyes and crumb- infested hands. You took the offering and looked at me.

And then you smirked.

And when I cried because of a scrape I got, you actually helped instead of your usual, to let me fend for myself.

To you, unless someone saw it, it was simply an action.

To me, it was the world. I basked in the warmth it provided me.

But only once. Never again was it to happen.

I lost it a year afterward. A careless ki blast misdirected in your training session.

I sensed the deadly energy as it came toward me. It was nothing that I'd ever seen or felt. It's trail was as short as my mortality at that point. Screaming for help, crying your name, I huddled into a ball and prayed that my tiny hand would be enough to stop it.

The blast hit.

And purple became gold.

I was still cuddled inwardly, and didn't notice the change at all. All I could see through teary eyes and now blond locks was your look.

A look of shock.

And scorn.

When I think about it, you could have helped. That look you gave me didn't even match the one on your face before it hit.

That was of worry. Of helplessness.

But that was before the change, the loss.

"No Sayajin child of mine will express such cowardice." You spat.

If only that were true. I wasn't terrified of my death.

I was terrified of losing you.

After that, more of what you were was revealed to me. I sucked it all in: The arguments between you and kasaan that erupted everytime I returned from training battered and beaten severely; the enemies you and your allies attracted on a daily basis that I helped face down; the anger that you took out on me, anger caused by yet not directed to a rival that was kinder, yet more powerful than you; the long periods of time where you would ignore my existence completely.

All for you.

All for my love of you.

Then it happened. After all of my trying to be what you wanted. After all of the pain I suffered to be near you.

I beat you.

I reached my goal. I was someone you could be proud of. Someone that you could count on.

Someone you could smile at again.

You wiped the blood off of you lip.

A lip that was curled into a frown. A frown of disgust. A frown of anger.

A frown of hatred.

Hatred for me.

It was the one thing I couldn't take. I had risen above everything, lost everything, stopped my heart from bleeding, and sealed my tears.

All just for you to smile at me, proud of me.

I said nothing. Just simply sat there looking back at you. And then I walked away. I couldn't do it. It was there, I felt it, but it wouldn't come.

I want to cry.

Why won't you smile?

-Trunks Chibi