There were so many of them at my house. Inanimate dolls, no thinking or moving skills to speak of.

Many people like to play with them, and grandpa would have no problem with that.

They would never play with me, though.

I see it more clearly, now. Was I not a doll too? A special one, but a doll nonetheless.

Grandpa always made sure I was well taken care of, always handled gently.

But never held, nor hugged. He'd never do that.

Okaasan. Was it because of you? Or the people? Is that why he felt so guilty? So sad?

But I was a puppet, made by him. For my own good.

But I am no longer. I move on my own; I have my own will, my own thoughts and dreams.

I dream of Sakura-chan, and grandpa.

I dream of mother. I miss them all dearly.

They were close to me, and the doll as well.

But dolls can't live, so dolls can't love. Nor can they save, or sacrifice.

Ayatsuri...

I hate that word.

-Tokiko Chibi