People can say what they please; it won't change me. When I go out to play, that's what I intend to do.

All that it really does is make me that much happier.

I mean, yeah, there are times when I shouldn't. Times where I can't be happy, for me, or for anyone else.

Those are the only times I regret even trying.

At least Kaji is there for me then.

But other times, it's just fine. A pick-me-up in the morning; a cheerful one or four after work.

So it's not a problem, especially to what I already deal with, what I see everytime THEY come.

Hateful creatures.

But I don't think I'm any different than them, any of them, for that matter.

The ones at NERV, and the Shito.

Sometimes they look the same, really. That's when I have to look at who's working with me, and what I myself am working for. I see that, and I have to believe I'm doing my best for what's right.

Everytime I send those kids out there, I give them 120 percent from me.

And I wish it were me out there instead, going to war with the possibility of not coming back.

And I see the same thing in my dreams. Him locking me away in a capsule, but not coming with me as that...demon, takes him from me.

And I wake up with those visions fresh on my mind.

And I go to work, for monsters who send kids to fight THEIR monsters.

And I come home feeling heavy, and hollow.

So yeah, I throw 'em back a lot. Big deal.

I can stop anytime I please.

And I'll stop when I stop breathing, or the monsters stop breathing.

-Misato Chibi