All characters and concepts of Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon are property of
Naoko Takeuchi, and are being used without permission. No profit is being
made from these stories.


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 Apprehension

A Sailor Moon short by

Kenji Murasaki (KMurasaki@Hotmail.com)


*****************************


	Meiou Setsuna finished buttoning her blouse jacket, smoothing the
non-existent wrinkles away, frowning in disgust. She wanted nothing better
at that moment than to burn the entire outfit. From the flats on her feet,
to the undergarments beneath the fabric; just throw it all in a pile and
set it aflame.
	It was a guilty fantasy, and one that she thirsted for on this day more
than any other day. It was because of the stains on the cloth, stains that
would never be removed, not that she would have made the effort to try and
effect their removal. No, she wouldn't lift a single finger toward harming
or cleaning the outfit more than needed.
	They served as a curse and a reminder, a reminder of who she was, and what
she had to do to ensure the safety and prosperity of the Moon Kingdom. In a
way, it was more fitting of a uniform for her than even her Senshi apparel.
	And this was the day to remind herself why. This day, that so many years
ago, she used her abilities and made a choice that gave her great relief,
and great sorrow.
	She slipped into her flats, and left the apartment.


***************************** 


	The wind was crisped and chilled, just as it had been everyday for the
past week. It raked cold fingers across her bare legs, making her suppress
a shudder. She didn't have to wear the skirt today, but she had decided to
trust the weather man. One would think she'd have learned not to do so
after getting caught in the rain two days in a row.
	Regardless, Kino Makoto stood before the markers, loose blouse, suspender
skirt, and a sad, half-forced smile on her face. She continued looking at
them for a moment, and then placed her mommento in front of the markers.
	Daisies. Her mother and father both adored the flower for as long as she
could remember. Her mother kept a fresh vase at home, and a few dry pressed
in books of sentimental value, and her father had a habit of putting them
in Makoto's hair whenever they went out to a park. It would never stay of
course, since she was always doing something rough and tumble, but it was
something she had grown to tolerate, and eventually enjoy.
	The daisies were always a symbol of happiness and love to her small
family. Now, as they had been for some years since that day, they were a
mommento, something  placed in front of the stone slabs in honor and
remembrance.
	Still, she enjoyed the delicate flowers, for herself if no one else. She
kept a bundle or so in a small vase in her apartment, as her mother did.
Taking care of them was a bit of a chore, but nothing she couldn't handle.
	Makoto remained kneeling, letting her mind drift on notions.  Perhaps her
parents would be proud of her now? Their little tomboy, a responsible,
teenage girl living on her own, taking care of if not all, then a great
majority of anything that came her way. Not only that, but being a savior
of the world as well. She idly wondered what sort of reaction her parents
would have had to her being one of the Sailor Senshi, if she had told them.
	It seemed to have filled a gap, being around the girls. There was little
fun involved, but it was something that she hadn't been used to before, not
since her parents had died. It wasn't something she took well. She had
cried for two days, not sure why her parents wouldn't be returning from
their business trip, a trip she still had issues on as to why she couldn't
go.
	Her uncle had kept watch over her as best he could, but his style of
living was solely designed for a bachelor, and it left him little time to
console the child outside of making funeral arrangements and balancing on
his job. In the end, she had just stopped crying, but stayed angry instead.
Independence seemed the track to take, and she had taken it. Her anger
however, found better ways to exert itself, not that she cared any. She
just drifted along, taking care of herself. Her uncle seldom came home for
more than a week at a time, so the apartment was indeed her own in all but
name when she got older.
	Older, stronger, wiser. The years had honed her, and she had honed
herself. There were times however, when no one was in, or she saw
something, or was just walking, where she'd stop, and wonder. Wonder what
would things have been like if they didn't take that trip, if they had just
stayed home with her. Would she be any different? Would she have not made
some valuable choices?
	Or maybe, what if she had gone with them?
	It might have made things easier, and at one time, that was indeed what
she had wanted. She thought further about that time, hoping from school to
school, always getting into something, and only really looking out for
herself. The girls had helped change most of that attitude, but there were
still times where she wondered, what if it was different?
	She sat up, and brushed down her skirt from floating too high in the wind.
She looked around, and frowned in annoyance. He still wasn't here. She was
hoping that her uncle would make a surprise appearance, instead of actually
staying true to what he said over the phone about not being there. But
like always, he was true to his business. She supposed that would suit her
fine, she was used to his hurried excuses and schedules. After all, she
had to get used to them, nothing around her would take care of itself.
	She heard footsteps behind her, and her hopes shot up. That hope turned
into confusion when she turned around, and saw not her uncle, but Meiou
Setsuna instead. The woman was wearing her familiar business suit, the pale
skirt and jacket, and had a calm, but sad look on her face.
	"Setsuna-san?"
	The woman looked at the younger Senshi for a long moment. Then slowly, she
walked over to the grave markers, and placed a delicate bouquet of flowers
by each. She sat back up, and smiled lightly at Makoto. "Someone has always
been around with you for this, haven't they?"
	The girl blinked in a bit of confusion, then nodded slowly. "I never
really thought about it, but yeah. How did you know where I was going to
be?"
	"Well," the woman paused, seemingly afraid to continue. Makoto continued
to look at her in heavy confusion, not exactly used to seeing the woman
this way. Finally, she spoke again. "I... had a connection with these two.
They were friends, once."
	Makoto stood frozen. "You knew my parents?"
	"From... some transactions, business. I never realized at the time, but
they had become so over time." She wiped something from her eye, and
continued. "I have to say this is the first time that I've been able to
bring myself here."
	Makoto nodded, understanding better. She'd never really known, nor
considered that Setsuna actually had a life outside of guarding the Time
Gate. It had always struck her as a weird thought. But to hear that she
had one, even more, to know that she had once had a relationship with her
parents, helped her to see a new part of the woman.
	"They're proud of you, you know."
	"Huh?"
	The elder woman looked at her with a sad smile. "They really are. I'm sure
they'd have loved to see their daughter as the woman she is now, helping to
shoulder such responsibilities."
	Makoto looked at her curiously. "Being a Senshi?"
	"Not just that, but simply taking on the job of growing up, on your own."
She turned her head to gaze at the sky, but Makoto had a sense she wasn't
even seeing the clouds overhead. "You're strong, and beautiful. They would
have been very proud of how you are today."
	"I guess." She rubbed her arms against the biting wind. "I've thought
about that, but I just never really cared too much, just curious. I'd do a
lot to see their faces again though.
	"But I have them here, in my heart, and that's what matters, right? I
think I like it that way." Makoto's smile became less forced as she looked
at the two gray  markers. "It's an old wound, but people live through it.
There were times though..." She blushed suddenly. "We don't get to talk too
often, do we? Like this?"
	"Not... really. Duty keeps me very busy." Her look became more serious,
as if reminding herself of something. "It is good for the spirit to indulge
every once in a while, though."
	"Did..." Makoto trailed off, not really sure how to address the rising
awkward feeling of curiosity in her chest. "Do you think you could tell me
about them?"
	"Hmm?" Setsuna looked a bit taken aback by her question.
	"I mean, I remember them, but I really didn't get to know them, as people.
I was wondering if..."
	"Well, I'll see what I can recall." Setsuna replied with a wry smile. "Do
you think you have time for a café stop?"
	"Sure." Makoto said, smiling a bit more. Setsuna lead her to the car, and
she looked over her shoulder once more to the stone reminders before
entering the automobile.


*****************************


	Amazing in how such seemingly small things effect the larger mass, Pluto
mused. She talked to the young Senshi about what she did remember from her
interactions with the girl's parents, and in remembering, began slowly
recalling just how strange and sad the situation became.
	It was no secret how her job really operated, once one thought about it.
Logically, people could draw the conclusion that at one point or another,
the Senshi of Time would make a decision that would affect countless lives.
It was her duty, really, to ensure the best scenario could past, that would
be majority beneficial to everyone that it could. This was the greatest
blessing, and the most horrible curse.
	Since that time long ago when she took the mantle, she had experienced
sleepless nights, and seemingly never-ending bouts of worry or guilt at
what she was witness to. Such choices, whether the outcome of a massive
battle, or a meager deed which wiped a precious necessity from someone
else's grasp, were solely on her head, but only so much, for time, such as
destiny, was never absolute.
	She had no trouble believing that she had died the day she'd seen the
vision that foretold the fall of the utopia known as the Moon Kingdom. She
sought all sorts of ways to prevent it, but none had shown even a slim
hope of being better than any other outcome that involved the
civilization's near-complete destruction.
	So she prepared for what she could, putting all her efforts into that
last moment where Serenity would finish her work and help her friends and
family, her people, into the future's hands. At no point in her life had
she cried harder than that very night before the attack. Until one day...
	One day, in her continued vigilance, Meiou Setsuna saw several
rips in her plan, seemingly from nowhere. One she couldn't act to fix, or
face dire consequences, so all she could do was hope the best for that
poor child at the time, and ensure Mamoru's survival to be around for his
lost love that would help him greater than anyone else could.
	Another was her greatest fear, only one option could be taken, otherwise
Serenity's wish, her wish, would never come to pass. Makoto would be the
loss that would unravel the entire dream.
	Setsuna could do nothing except wait for the time that it would matter to
shift the stream, a subtle use of her power, and things would be reassured.
However, at that point, after so many lost, some directly by her hand, she
herself felt inhuman and cold with guilt at such a quick, deliberate act
that would doom lives, and feeling such massive weight upon her again,
cried herself to sleep that night.
	She drifted, unsure if she could actually commit to it, when she ran into
a coffee house one day. Fate was not written in stone as of yet, and she
was spending her day pondering if she could actually do it again, just sit
by and watch more lives be claimed in the name of a dream. A kind teacher
walked in on her sad, haggard look, and tried to comfort her. It turned
out to be one of the supposed sacrifice, Makoto's mother.
	To that end, Setsuna had never really figured out just why, but she had
allowed the woman in her heart, and they did grow to be friends. She left
the café that day feeling not so alone, or put upon. Indulging herself
against her better judgment of remaining stoic and uninvolved in such
matters, she befriended and learned to trust both the woman and her
husband. She was there on the day that the girl sitting before her, little
Kino Makoto, came into the world.
	At the time, she felt like she owed it to the two that she be so
intimately involved in their lives, but with that first look into that
delicate babe in an incubator, she knew such was not the case. It was what
she owed to herself that she reminded just why she did some of the tragic
things she did, to ensure that those after her had a chance.
	Some point afterward, for the first time ever, she committed her subtle
shift in the time's predestined flow, by explaining to her parents just how
special their little baby truly was. It had frightened them, and they
didn't believe her, so she showed them, by showing herself. Where Setsuna
expected anger, only came silence, however. Makoto's mother then hugged
her, and thanked her for saying that her child would be so highly honored.
	It caused the Time Senshi no small amount of confusion and grief at their
reaction, even when the father followed likewise. She remembered the
evenings that they would talk about the kingdom that had been put into
time's memory, and about other things as well, day-to-day things that
Setsuna had begun to take up again. Still, she found herself too wrought
with guilt to reveal their oncoming departure. She felt it too cruel, even
for her.
	The day came that the business trip was to be made, and she was sick with
the pang of fear. She was living it again, seeing her friends and family be
sacrificed for the sake of the future. Something on her answering machine
brought her from it.
	She remembered the message clearly. Makoto's mother had called and said
that they had to leave the city on business, though that wasn't the case.
Setsuna knew that it was a pleasure trip, due to them from too much stress.
She had gasped when she heard the woman say that Makoto was left back at
home. Even more surprise came to her as the machine continued with Kino-san
beginning to sound sad. She thanked Setsuna for being as truthful as she
could be, and wished her well, as well as saying thanks for her friendship,
and see that Makoto grew into the beautiful woman she saw that day so long
ago.
	"Setsuna-san?"
	The woman looked up from her coffee, noting the tear in her eye that she
couldn't recall shedding. "It's not worry Mako-chan, I'm fine."
	She wiped her face with her napkin, and looked at the young woman across
from her. Her eyes were raised in curiosity, and Setsuna realized she fell
back into an old habit she hadn't used for years, calling Makoto so
intimately.
	The girl smiled. "That... sounds right, somehow."
	"Makoto, I apologize. I haven't been that well with you, after your
parents did such wonderful things for me."
	"They did?"
	"Your mother and father... helped me, when I was feeling the most lost."
She stared into her cup, searching for some great answer to an unasked
question. "They helped me find out the future is not forged on itself, and
that many people came along on each other's shoulders to see it come true.
	"I don't think I could ever repay the gift they gave me, but I have done
the one thing they asked of me, by keeping eye over you." Makoto blinked,
but Setsuna continued. "That's why I know they're proud of you. You are
every bit of the woman that they saw you could be, and that I saw."
	She sipped her cup while Makoto pondered over her spoken thoughts.
"I really haven't had a friend since then, you know. You girls are the
closest I've had to family ever since."
	Makoto's response was with a wry grin. "So that makes you the mysterious
aunt then?"
	"Aunt..." She remembered that word following her name, several dozen
times. It seemed Makoto had as well; her hand went to her mouth, waking up
from a lazy daydream.
	"I think I can live with that, as long as you come to me when you really
do need an ear, or a friend."
	Makoto looked at her for a moment, then nodded. "I'd like that."


*****************************


	For a future we believe in, we will give our all for it. We will wreck our
path with our sweat, blood, and tears to see it come true. But we must not
forget along the way, those that lent a shoulder, a hug, or a kiss; those
that might have fallen so that others may tread their paths and bear their
burdens with better strength. Thank you for helping me realize this.

-- Meiou Setsuna
(Card connected to the flowers at the gravesight.)


*****************************


	As to what brought this on, I've wondered just how much of what Pluto does
is written in stone. And to a more selfish note, I believe I've grown too
accustom to seeing a heartless Sailor Pluto, always doing things for the
sake of a future it seems she really doesn't believe in. After a better
look into the anime itself, this brainstorm came on in the middle of class.
it took several different directions, but I'm pleased with the final
result, which focuses on a possible take of her duty to Serenity and her
people.
	Anyway, not a major work, but lemme know what you think. Back to the hack
I go.

-Kenji M. 10/10/01