 
SMS
Jokes
Short
Messaging Service, otherwise known as text messaging, mobile
messaging, or alphanumeric paging is a digital cellular network
feature. It lets you send short text and numeric messages to and from
digital cell phones, cell phones and e-mail addresses, as well as cell
phones and public SMS messaging gateways on the Internet. Currently,
there are approximately 30 billion SMS messages sent globally each
month.
An
awesome and huge collection of SMS jokes, Ad lines and shayris. Simply
scroll down or click on the links below.
English/
Hindi
/
Ad
lines /
Shayaris
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English
A friend is 1% FUNNY ,
2% SWEET,
3% CARING,
4% LOVING and
90% GOOD-LOOKING.
THAT'S WHY I AM UR FRIEND.
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*
I am at police station ,
they caught mee for the possession of good-looks.
They say that I need someone UGLY to bail me out.
WHERE ARE U?????
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*
We go
up and down, protection is tight,
keepin it up all damn night,
never tired always alert.....
I love my job as a security guard
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*
Who Wants 2 B A
$MILLIONAIRE$
Let's play?
Q.Nobody likes u
cos u r a:
A.Prick B.Wanka
C.Rsole D.Twat
50/50?
phone a friend?
RING ME! I'LL
TELL U!
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*
Could
u fax me ur photo very very urgently ?
Mind u - it's really very very urgent,
damn serious and very imp .....
I'm playing cards and we've misplaced the JOKER.
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*
If u save this msg, it means I'm cute.
If u edit this, I'm still cute.
If u fwd this, u r spreading that i'm cute
& if u erase this, u r jealous of me coz i'm cute!
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*
Good morning...
Have u done two of the most important things
when you wake up today?
1)Pray, so that u may live...
2)Take a bath-so that others may live too!
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*
Friendship is like peeing in ur pants,
everyone can see it
but only you can
feel it's warmth.
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*
I love "u", I love "u",
I love "u", I love "u",
I love "u", I love "u",
I love "u". Hey! Don't get excited,
I love other alphabets too...v, w, x, y, z !
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*
I mixed RUM in water and got drunk.
I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk.
I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again.
Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!
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*
Dark were those days, without your sight.
When I was in darkness, you gave me light.
You gave me strength 2 make life bright.
Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT
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*
Please remind me 2 remind U
about reminding me to send U
this reminder that reminds me of reminding U
that U never have to remind me 2 remember U,
I ALWAYS DO!
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*
I Love You. I Love You. I Love You.
I Love You. I Love You. I Love You.
I LoveYou. That's because
Meneka Gandhi says "Love Animals" !
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*
The animals of a jungle have decided to hold a meeting.
The lion has come, the tiger has come,
the elephant has come, the monkey has come..
But The meeting hasn't started. Guess why ?
Because the Donkey is busy reading this SMS !
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*
Girls think
boys are fit.
Boys think
girls are sexy.
But don't worry...
I'm sure science
will come up
with something
to help you.
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*
Can u pronounce good english:- read along woof,
roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, roof,
poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof.
Test results: U r a good
dog. Now stop barking.
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*
Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish.
I asked 4 "world peace".
That's impossible, he said.
Then I asked him 2 give u brains.
He said "Let me try world peace"
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*
Falling in love is a sweet ambition,
finding true love is a life time mission..
Take my word, follow the Indian tradition
& marry ur dad's ugly decision !
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*
Good looks catch the eyes but
Good Personality catches the heart,
You are blessed with both!. FLATTERED?.
Don't Be, it was sent to me,
I just wanted you to read it.
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*
From Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec,
From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u
have never changed. For me, you've always been...........
a headache !
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*
1 day u'll B srprisd 2C ME beside U.
U & ME laughing, U & ME crying,
U & ME dreaming, U & ME holding on,
U & ME... just U & ME sitting in a
MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.
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*
I cannot hide this from u any more. I don't want 2 hurt u and I feel
it's best if I tell u,
before you hear it from someone else ............
Potato Prices Have Gone Up !
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*
It
takes 3 words to say "I LOVE YOU"
3 minutes to explain!!
3 hours to demonstrate!!
3 days to appreciaate!!
But it takes life-time to prove it..
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*
If someone did ask me what I meant by life,
"I would sit next to you, pull you close,
put my arms around you and say proudly,
this is my life."
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*
My friendship is like an onion ..
which has many layers in it.
It'll add flavour and tatse to your life
But if you try to cut it,
you will have tears in your eyes.
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*
When a door of happiness closes.
Another opens But so often at times
we look so long at the closed doors..
that we don't see the one which has been opening at us.
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*
Care is the sweetest from of Love,
so when anyone say TAKE CARE,
its as good as as saying
I'll keep you in my heart
till it's last beat
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*
How can I Spell "S_CESS" without "U"?
Or "H_MBLE"? or "F_TURE"? or even "TR_ST"
What will I do without "U"?
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*
To love without Condition,
to talk without intention,
to give without reason
and to care without expectation
is the heart of true relation.
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*
He who fights monsters must take care
lest he becomes a monster Friedrich Netashce
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*
There's nothing you'll lose in last,
Retreat not in your fight.
Let them all go to hell,
Do what you think is right."
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*
It's your life, and you are supposed to be in conrol
Afterall, you won't get another chance to live if
you should miss this one.
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*
"Any tear that I can wipe, any smile that I can bring,
or any good that I can do... let me do it now.
For, I wont pass this way again."
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*
"To
the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the
world."
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*
In hard times dont every say, "Hey God,
I
have a big problem."Instead say, "Hey prob,I have a big God"
and
everythings gonna be ok.
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*
keep the smile leave the tear....
think of joy forget the fear....
Hold the laugh leave the pain...
be joyous dear till we meet again..
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*
When you are sad am lonely..
when you are happy am glad....
Remember that whatever you feel..
I feel it twice..
So if you are feeling sleepy
Hello!!! me more sleepy, Good night!!!
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*
Ther's no oil without squeezing the olives.
No wine without pressing the grapes.
no fragrance without cruising the flowers.
So when you are pressured,
God's just bringing out the BEST IN YOU!!
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*
Every
morning u r the 1st thing that comes 2 my mind.
I wish I could start my day with U in my bed.
I jus luv ur feel to my lips. U jus make my day. I love U
NESCAFE
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*
The night is dark,the moon is high,
i stop my car,u ask why?
I come close 2 U, U feel shy, i tell u those 3 words..........
Oh God ! Puncture !
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*
Ur smile can be compared with Flowers,
Ur voice can b compared with a cuckoo,
Ur innocence can b compared with a baby,
but in foolishness... You've got no comparisons
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*
Airhostes to Laloo : R U a vegetarian or non vegetarian Sir ?
Laloo : I m a Saggitarian!
Airhostes : Sir aap mansahari hain ya shakahari?
Laloo : Hum BIHARI hain...!
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*
God saw u hungry, he created Domino's pizza.
He saw u thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw u in dark, he created light.
He saw ME without problems, he created YOU !
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*
5 gr8 ppl: 1. Gandhiji-Woh to ab rahe nahin
2. Bajpai-Woh kisi kaam ke nahin 3.
Aishwarya-apni pahoonch ke bahar hai.
Baki rahe aap aur hum, so remain in touch
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*
When I C the moon I C U,
When I C the stars I C U,
when I C the Sea I C U,
get out of the way you are blocking my view.
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*
You = cute ; You = hot ;
You = sweet ; You = intelligent ;
You = amazing ; You = perfect ;
Me = liar Of Course!
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*
I have a confession to make,
ever since I have known u,
Its kinda hard for me to forget u.
Every night u appear in my dreams....
And I find my self shouting..... BHOOT !!! BHOOT !!!
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*
The rain makes all things beautiful,
The grass & flowers 2,
If rain makes all things beautiful,
Why doesn’t it rain on you?
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Get More...Click here
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*
Hindi
Message pe message bhejte ho,
bhej bhej ke bheja kharab karte ho,
bhejte ho toh bhi kya bhejte ho,
khudka bheja to chalta nahin ,
doosron ka bheja hua bhejte ho!!!!!
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*
Ek
arse se ye aankhein soi nahi, hasi nahi ,
roi
nahi,ek baat thi dil mein jo tumse kehni thi ke... jassi jaisi koi
nahi
Aapko miss karna roj ki baat hai, yaad karna adaat ki baat hai,
aapse
dur rehna kismat ki baat hai , magar aapko jhelna bade himmat ki baat
hai
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*
Nazar
jhuki to paimane bane,
Dil tute to maikhane bane,
Kuch na kuch to zaroor hai aap mein
Yunhi nahin hum aapke deewane bane
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*
Aapke khayalon se fursat nahin milti
hame ek pal ki rahat nahin milti
milto jata hai sab kuch
bas aap ki ek jhalak nahin milti
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*
Dil ki galion mein koi gam na ho
humari yeh dosti kabhi kam na ho
bas yahi hai dua ki aap khush raho
kya pata agar hum KAL HO NA HO
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*
Barsaat aaye aur zameen gili na ho
Dhup aaye aur sarson peeli na ho
Aye dost tune ye kaise sochliya
ki teri yaad aaye aur aankhen gili na ho
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*
Kisi dahadakte dil ke peeche
zaroor koi baat hoti hai,
kisi udas dil ke peeche
kisi ki yaad hoti hai
aapko pata hona ho
aapke har khushi ke peeche
humari dua hoti hai
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*
Likho to kuch aisa likho
ki kalam bhi rone lag jaye,
har lafz pe wo dard ho
ki wo pyar karne pe majboor ho jaye
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*
Charo taraf gam ki chaya hai
jisay dekho wohi paraya hai
gir pada hoon mohabbate ki pyas mein
aur log kehtay hain pee kar aaya hai
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*
Kitna pyar karte hain doston se,
kash unhen bhi ye ehsash ho jaye,
magar aisa naho ke woh hosh mein tab aaye,
jab hum gehri neend mein so jaaye
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*
Khuda aap jaisa dost koi aur na banaye
Ek hi anmol cheez jo humare paas hai,
wo bhi kahin common na ho jaye!!
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*
Teri har ada mohabbat si lagti hai,
ek pal ki judai muddat si lagti hai,
pehle nahin socha ab sochte hain hum,
Zindagi ke har lamhe me teri zaroorat si lagti hai.
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Armaan tha tere sang jeevan bitane ka,
Shikwa hai bas tere khamosh rehjane ka,
deewangi is se badh kar kya hogi,
aaj bhi intezar hai tere aane ka.
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*
Log kehte hain ki ladkiyan zindagi hoti hain maut nahin,
magar woh log kyon bhool hate hain ki dhokha bhi zindagi deti hai maut
nahin.
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*
Pyar karo to dhokha mat dena,
kisi ko aansuon ka tohfa mat dena,
dil se koi tumhen zindagi bhar kose,
aisa kisi ko mauka mat dena.
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*
Na chaho kisko itnja ki,
chahat tumhari majboori ban jaye,
chaho kisi ko itna ki,
tuhara pyar uski kamjori ban haye.
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*
Dosti ki ki tadap ko dikhaya nahin jata,
dil mein lagi aag ko bujhaya nahin jata,
kinti bhi dooriyan ho dosti mein,
aap jaise dost ko bhulaya nahin jata.
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*
Ek lamhe mein unhone zindagi sawar di,
ek lamhe mein unhone zindagi ujaad di,
kusur unka nahin humara hai,
jo un do lamho mein humne zindagi guzaar di
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*
Zindagi ek chahat ka silsila hai,
koi mil gaya to koi bichad gaya,
jinhe manga tha duaon mein,
wo kisiko bin mange milo gaya
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*
Aankhon mein aansoon aa jate hain.
phir bhi labon pe hasin rakhni padti hai,
yeh mohabbat bhi kya zheez hai yarron,
jis se karte hain usi se chipani padti hai.
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*
Waqt to aata hai chala jata hai iska aitbaar mat karna....
koi juda hoke yaad aye kisi se itna pyar mat karna...
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*
Tujh se durr rehne ki sochta hoon
to tere aur kareeb aa jata hoon,
tujhe bhulana chahta hoon
to tujhe aur yaad karne lagta hoon,
sochta hoon ki pyar na karoon,
par hadh se jyada karne lagta hoon (by Me)
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*
Teri ek jhalak pane ko dil betaab hai,
teri har ek baat jaise gulaab hai,
teri pyari si muskaan lajawab hai,
tujhe pana ek haseen khawab hai,
tujh se mujeh mohabbat behisaab hai (by Me)
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*
College mein school ki yaad aayee,
jawani mein bachpan ki yaad aayee,
kantoko ko chua to phoolon ki yaad aayee,
zindagi ko kareeb se dekha to dost teri yaad aayee,
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*
Dil se dil laga kar to dekho,
meri yaad mein aasoon baha kar to dekho,
SMS to kya call bhi kar doonga,
ek baat mere cell ka bil chuka ke to dekho
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*
Chiragoon se andhere durr ho jaate,
to chand ki chaht kise hoti,
kat sakti akele zindagi to
dosti naam ki cheez kyon hoti
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*
Bin badal barsaat nahin hoti...
Suraj dube bina raat nahin hoti...
aye dost kisi ka dil mat todna
ke dil tootne par awaaz nahin hoti..
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*
Ishq ke rishtey kitne ajeeb hote hain,
dur hokar bhi kitne kareeb hote hain,
meri barbaadi par afshosh na karo yaaron,
pyar mein sabke apen apne naseeb hote hain
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*
Gum ki anndhiyan aisi chali hum tum bichad gaye,
aansoon bhi humse poochne lage,
aapke saathi kidhar gaye
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*
Ek tanha raat mein teri yaad aayee,
tanhai mitane ko humne ek ciggarette jalai,
na jane kaise qayamat ho gaya
ki dhuen ne bhi aapki tasveer banayi
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*
Na milne ki khushi na bichad ne ka gam hai
na tanhaa na udass hai hum
kaise kahen kaise hain hum
bas itna samajh lo ki bahat akele hain hum
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*
Ishq ke charche bahut hai....
husn pe parche bahut hai...
humne bhi dekha iahq karke...
baap re baap is mein kharche bahut hai!!
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*
Ajnabi galyion se hum guzartaa nahin karte,
Dard-e-dil liya aur diya nahin karte,
ye dosti/dil ka rishta sirf TUM se hai,
warna itne SMS hum kisi ko kiya nahin karte.
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*
Allah ke naam pe ,maula ke nama pe,
tere biwi bachon ke naam pe,
koi mere is message padhne
wale dost ko paise dedo,
ye mujhe mesage nahin karta
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*
Durr hote hue bhi dosti ka rishta nibhate hain aap,
na jane kyon kyon dil ko itna lubhate hain aap,
ye kaisa karishma hai aapka,
jo humko itna yaad aate hain aap
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*
Adlines
1) Your parents are insisting you to get married to a girl and they
show
Photos of girls of their choice....
DHIKHAVE PE NA JAAO APNI AKAL LAGAAO --- Sprite
2) You would like to search for a girl on your own
GO FOR YAHOO SEARCH --- Yahoo.com
3) You are invited to a party where you come across a lot of girls.
WHENEVER YOU SEE COLOUR THINK OF US --- Jhenson & Nicholson
4) You are altogether confused, as all the girls are pretty
DOONDTHE RAHA JAAOGE --- Surf Excel.
5) At last you find a girl, whom you wish to propose, the chances are.
FIFTY FIFTY --- Britannia Biscuits.
6) At last you muster up courage and tell her.
I LOVE YOU RASNA --- Rasna
7) She stares at you for a while and says?
LET? S TALK --- MAXTOUCH Prepaid Cellular
8) During the ensuing conversation she politely refuses your offer...
ZOR KA JATKA ZARA DHEERE SE LAGE ----- Mirinda
9) And your heart break...
IT JOINS EVERYTHING EXCEPT BROKEN HEARTS --- QuickFix
10) But you still can't get her off your mind?
GO GET IT --- Visa Power
11) At last she relents, when you give her
CORNNETTO --- Pyar Ka Naya Funda
12) Next day you take her for a ride on your bike.
NEIGHBOURS ENVY OWNERS PRIDE --- Onida TV
13) While going on the bike her father sees both of you and now
TASTE THE THUNDER --- Thums Up.
14) But at last he also agrees as you are.
MADE FOR EACH OTHER --- Wills
15) Then comes your marriage and
EVERYONE'S INVITED --- Samsung
16) During the marriage the pundit recites the mantra?
YEH FEVICOL KA MAZBOOTH JODE HAI...... TOOTEGA NAHI --- Fevicol
17) You are anxiously waiting for the first night to come as.
YEH DIL MANGE MORE --- Pepsi.
18) During the first night both of you want to.
PLAY SAFE --- Bisleri.
19) So she says to you....
TOUCH TOMORROW --- Air Tel.
20) Next day comes and you want to.
UNDERLINE YOUR PRESENCE --- Van Huesen Shirts.
21) She also agrees because...
YEH ARAM KA MAMLA HAI --- Roopa..
22) And she says.
JO CHAHO HO JAYE ENJOY --- Co Co Cola
23) Then starts ......
THE GOOD LIFE --- Air Tel.
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Shayaris
(Funny)
"Teri
julphein hai ya Ghana Andhera.....................
..................JAANEMAN katwa de baal ...... Hoja ganji...........Aur.............Karde
savera"
"JUICE peene ka mazza cup mein nahin ........GLass mein hota hai
GREEting card dene ka mazza GHARwali ko nahin SAALi ko hota hai"
Wo larayeee hi kya JISME DO CHAAR Gaaliyan na ho .....
ARE Wo SASURAAL HI kya jahan koi Saali na ho!!
Kisi ki kishtion ko kinara nahin milta,
Kisi ko doodne se sahara nahin milta,
logo ki khushian bhi apni - 2
Hamen to gam bhi hamara nahin milta.
Jise dil diya woh dilli chali gayi
Jise pyar kiya woh italy chali gayi
Dil ne kaha khud kushi(sucide) kar le jalim
Bijali ko haath lagaya to bijali chali gayi
TERI JULF HAI YA ANDHERI RAAT KA SAAYA
TERI JULF HAI YA ANDHERI RAAT KA SAAYA
SAR MUNDWA LE TO SAVERA HO JAI.
Kaaash ke tere chehre par Chickenpox ke daag hote.....
Kaaash ke tere chehre par chickenpox ke daag hote.....
Chand to tu hai hi ..sitaare bhee saaath hote
ladka bola :
kash ein hasinao ke baap mar jate,
bahana gam ka hota, hum inke ghar to jaate.
Ladki boli:
Bewkoof, Yeh bolana bhi paap hoga,
kisi din tu bhi kisi hasina ka baap hoga.
Ladki boli:
Chandni chaand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi,
Mohabbat ek se hoti hai, hazaaron se nahi.
Ladka bola :
Chandni agar chaand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga,
Mohabbat agar ek se hogi to h! azaron ka kya hoga.
Chappal chhoti ho to
Panw me nahi aati
Biwi moti ho to
Bahon me nahi aati
*******************
A kalam rukja
Izzat ka mukam hai
Tere nuk pe mere
Mehbub ka naam hai
******************
O shayeri sunne walo jara
Gor se suno
Age ka nahi aata
Kisi aur se suno
******************
HUMNE AAPKI KHATIR AASUON KE TAB BHAR DALE
HUMNE AAPKI KHATIR AASUON KE TAB BHAR DALE
HUMNE AAPKI KHATIR AASUON KE TAB BHAR DALE
PAR AAP BHI KITNE BEWAFA NIKLE KI USME SE NAHA KAR NIKAL GAYE
******************
Gul
Gaye Gulshan Gaye, Gul Ke Patte Rah Gaye
Sare Shayair Mar Gaye, Tum Ullu Ke Pathe Rah Gaye
******************
Sheeshi bhari gulab ki, phatthar se phor doon
Pant wali mil jaye, to ghanghre wali ko chor doon
******************
Apple kat ta hoon knife se,
Paani peeta hoon pipe se,
Kya zamana aaa gaya,
Joote khata hoon wife se
******************
Anarkali teri zulfein hain raat ka andhera,
Anarkali teri zulfein hain raat ka andhera,
Ho ja tu ganji karde sawera.
******************
Maine tujhse pyar kiya heera samajh ke,
tere baap ne mujhe khaaya kheera samajh ke!
******************
Dharti so rahi hain,
AASMAN so raha hain.
DHARTI so rahi hain,
AASMAN so raha hain
Nonsense! Yeh sab kya ho raha hai?
******************
Khud ko kar buland itna....
Ke Himalay ki choti par ja pahunche....
Aur Khuda tumse puchche....
Abey Gadhey... Ab utarega kaise?
******************
Khud
ko kar buland itna....
Ke Himalay ki choti par ja pahunche....
Aur Khuda tumse puchche....
Abey Gadhey... Ab utarega kaise?
******************
Woh ladki kitni pyaari thi, jis ko aankh maari thi
Woh sendal kitni bhaari thi, jo us ney sar per maari thi
******************
Patharr kyun marte ho, pura pahaar maar do
Hum yuheeen mar jayenge, sirf ek baar aankh maar do
******************
Yeh tera chehra hai yaa keleka chhilka
Jo dekha to dil phisal gaya
******************
Kitne
Log They Tumhare Zanaze Ke Peeche,
Ek Mein hi Nahin Tha Tere Zanaze Ke Peeche,
Mein Hota Bhi Kaise Tere Zanaze Ke Peeche,
Jo Mera Zanazaa Ja raha tha Tere Zanaze Ke Peeche.
******************
Jee karta hai ki teri nili nili aankhon main dub jaoon
Jee karta hai ki teree nili nili aankhon main dub jaoon
Splash !
******************
Yeh aankhen hai ya neeli jheel?
Yeh aankhen hai ya neeli jheel?
So? What's the big deal?
******************
Unki
zulfoon pe pyaar aaya
Paas ja kar dekha to sardar paya.
******************
Duniya Se Jo Dare, Usse Kayar Kehte Hain,
Duniya Jisse Dare, Usse Shayar Kehte Hain,
Biwi Se Jo Dare, Usse Shohar Kehte Hain
******************
Gul
Gaye Gulshan Gaye, Gul Ke Patte Rah Gaye
Sare Shayair Mar Gaye, Tum Ullu Ke Pathe Rah Gaye
******************
Sheeshi bhari gulab ki, phatthar se phor doon
Pant wali mil jaye, to ghanghre wali ko chor doon
******************
Apple kat ta hoon knife se,
Paani peeta hoon pipe se,
Kya zamana aaa gaya,
Joote khata hoon wife se
******************
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