Laloo is convicted in the fodder case and the courts decide that all his property belongs to the state. He is left with nothing and is going around looking for a job. Eureka Forbes (the vacuum cleaner company) gives him a job as a vacuum cleaner salesman. Laloo decides to do well on his first day
itself. He goes to the first house in his territory. He knocks, a lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, Laloo runs inside and dumps gobar (cow dung) all over the floor and the sofa.
He says, "Lady, if vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning up that gobar right now, I'll eat every chunk of it." She replies, "You want salt and pepper on that? We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."
 

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Laloo becomes PM

Laloo becomes PM (if you haven't cut your throat yet, read on) and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Nawaz
Sharif. They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes. Laloo then emerges from the room. Reporters clamor for a statement. "Nawazbhai will make the
announcement." is all Laloo will say. Nawaz Sharif comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to give up all claims on
Kashmir, with no strings attached. The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50
years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamors. "Sab AKAI waalon ka kamaal hai," says Laloo. "Who
kehte hain na, TV loge to fridge doonga, video khareedein to
cellphone free... to hum bhi Nawazbhai se kehe diye: "Aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free
milega, bas!"

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Extract of Laloo Prasad thanks giving speech in English to all his guests at the conclusion of his daughters wedding festivities: "I THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING FROM BOTTOM OF MY HEART AND ALSO FROM MY WIFE'S BOTTOM

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Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied"65Kgs" and moved on...

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Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji.Could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas..."The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies"thank you" and puts the phone down.

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Laloo's family planning policy: "DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR"

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At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
 

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After having resigned as the CM of Bihar,Laloo decides to go modeling. Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo.
Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. Guess the caption!!
'Laloo, third from left!'

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Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, 'Bihar is an excellentstate. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan.' Laloo was very surprised. 'You Japanese are very inepicient (inefficient),' he stated. 'Give me three days and I will turn Japan
into the next Bihar!'

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A reporter asked Laloo "What the main reason
for divorce?" Laloo replies, "Marriage".

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When Laloo completed 25 years of his rule over Bihar, he wanted a special postage stamp with his picture on it.He asked Rabri,stressing that it should be world class. The stamps were released, and Laloo was pleased. But within a couple of days, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and became furious. He called Rabri and ordered her to investigate the matter. Rabri checked out at several post offices, and then reported to Laloo Prasad: She said:
"The stamp is really world class.The problem is, our Biharis are spitting on the wrong side."

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After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite Sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me only 5 months to do it," Laloo brags. "Five months? That's too long." the friend exclaims. "You are a fool," Laloo replies. "Read the box, It says 5-7 years."

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Bill Clinton decided to teach Laloo English,
So he invited him over to the US. Laloo arrives in full grandeur. Bill announces to the Nation that they should not be disturbed during the tuition. Inside The White house,
they are locked up in a room, and Bill starts teaching Laloo English.Days pass by and weeks pass by, but there is no
sign of them coming out. The whole country and the economy have come to a standstill, and press reporters from all over the world are waiting outside eagerly to find
the outcome.
At last one day, the door opens, and out comes Laloo beaming his pleasant white smile, looking cool and unruffled. However, Bill looks totally dazed, his clothes are torn, his hair is completely ruffled, and he has scratch marks all over his face. The shocked reporters ask Bill, "What happened Mr. President?" Bill replies, "Ee babua hamar kuchh bhi naahi sunta hai!"

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Anybody wants to know what Miss Yadav, Laloo's daughter wrote for her Medical Entrance Exam?

ANTIBODY - against everyone ,ARTERY - the study of fine paintings,BACTERIA - back door to a cafeteria,BENIGN - what you be after you be eight,BOWEL - letters like a, e, i, o, u,CAESARIAN SECTION - a district in Rome,CARDIOLOGY - advanced study of poker playing,CAT SCAN - searching for lost kitty,CHRONIC - neck of a crow,COMA - punctuation mark,CORTIZONE - area around local,courthouse,CYST - short for sister,DIAGNOSIS - person with a slanted nose,DILATE - the late British princess Diana,DISLOCATION - in this place,DUODENUM - couple in jeans,ENEMA - not a friend,
FALSE LABOR - pretending to work,GENES - blue denim,GROIN - to mash to a pulp / smile,HERNIA - she is close by,HYMEN - greeting to several males,IMPOTENT - distinguished, well-known,LABOR PAIN - hurt at work,LACTOSE - person without toes,LYMPH - walk unsteadily,MENOPAUSE - I no wait,MICROBES - small dressing gowns,OBESITY - city of Obe,PACEMAKER - winner of Nobel Peace Prize PULSE - grain,PUS - small cat,RED BLOOD COUNT - Dracula,RUPTURE - ecstasy,SECRETION - hiding, anything,SUBCUTANEOUS - not cute enough,SUTURE - Gujarati for "what do you want",
TABLET - small table,TUMOR - extra pair,ULTRASOUND - radical noise,URINE - opposite of you're out VARICOSE - very close,VAS DEFERENS - extremely different,VEIN - at what time?,VITREOUS HUMOR - both witty & funny

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