Love

Physical attraction and love

Physical attraction and Love

Almost everyone, scientist and nonscientist alike, agrees that sexual attraction is different from true love; but it also apparent that love, even after decades with the same partner, need not exclude sexual attraction. Love itself, if it is considered a desire for more than sexual intimacy, seems to be not one state but several. For example, the feeling of a young couple that they can do nothing alone can mature into a reelationship in which each is relatively independdent.

Yale Psychologist Robert Sternberg suggests that love had three basic elements: intimacy, passion and commitment. Typically, says Sternberg, passion is the key ingredisent in the early stages of courting but as the relationship matures, intimacy and commitment grow in importance.

The French writer Madame de Stael's definition of love is far more poetic. " Love is a symbol of eternity." She wrote almost two centuries ago. "It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end. "

The truest form of love is based on all three levels of attraction. If you can concentrate on your mate's higher qualities and respect both him/her self along with your own self, then there is every reason to believe this could be the "one" for you!

ALL ABOUT ATTRACTION

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The Attraction Factor Do Opposites really attract

Why do we get attracted ? Is it wrong to be attracted ?

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The Attraction Factor Back

When discussing the multi-faceted topic of attraction, there is a wide diversity of opinions and facts. Some well-known attraction cliches even tend to fall under the belief systems of many. "Love at first sight" is one such notion. "Opposites attract" is another. But true love can neither be formed instantly, without any underlying structure, nor can it be predominantly based upon differences. Physical, emotional, and mental attraction are each essential, but should work together to form a solid, enduring relationship.

True attraction comes more from within than from outward appearances. Someone could be physically gorgeous to look at, (at "first sight") but if that same person has no character to back it up, he/she could later be perceived as downright unattractive. Likewise, an average/plain-looking person could very naturally become more and more attractive as he/she begins to unveil his/her inner self. If we find that average-looking person interesting, adoration can be sparked and grow alongside the attraction. This gradual attraction actually can lead to a more genuine, longer lasting connection.

Do Opposites really attract? Back

Most of us all in love with those who we find most similar to ourselves, both in looks and in emotional temperament.There is thus a good deal of relevance in the words of the old song " I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old dad". Ths is not to say that men are always searching for a woman who is exactly like their mother; but it is a fact that the mother is the first woman a boy knows, and it would not be surprising if he felt comfortable with a woman who shared some of the mother's characteristics. Furthermore, studies have tended to support the idea that relationships are strongest between two people who are smillar to each other in age, inteliigence, attitudes.goals, and physical attractiveness.

However , it is perfectly possible to fall in love with one's emotional opposite, though such a couple may be in for some rocky moments. One family therapist suggests that we are often attracted to a person who we feel represents some underdeveloped aspect of our own personality. Each of the pair may feel more complete in the company of the one who seems tp supply what's lacking, and for a time both may modify their behavior to please the loved one. After a while, however, the old selves are likely to re-merge. This may explain why some people, after going out together for a few months, are surprised to find they have almost nothing in common. There has been gradual reversion to the personalities that existed before the two started dating.

Why do we get attracted ? Back

What's that actually which takes us closer to a person and compells us to make a relationship with them? Why do we feel like getting closer to a person and want be with that person more? No one has really been able to understand why? Writers, poets, film-makers and otehr specialists have all given their explanation of the phenomenon called love (an extended attraction?), but they have just romanticized it and never given a holistic understanding of the basic question- "Why does a person feel attracted?"

Interaction

When I am not near to the near I love, I love the one I am near "-E Y Hardburg, Finian's rainbow.Psychologists say that not just physical distance but 'functional distance', and the nature of the interaction, decide the level of intimacy in a group. Interaction enables you to explore their similarities, sense mutual likes (and dislikes), and percieve yourself as a social unit.

Anticipation of interaction

Proximity enables people to discover commonalities, and anticipation of interaction boosts liking. What will we talk about tomorrow? What will the other person's reponse be? Such a question and the anticipation of the answers result in more attraction.

Exposure

" What is your favourite letter of the alphabet?" Research reveals that the answer to this most often a letter appearing in the person's name. Mere exposure to something brings out top-of-the mind recal, and thereby proximity and subsequent liking. We tend to like a certain person more than another as we become used to proximity to him/her. this effect is used a lot in advertising and also by politicians who understand that by regular and repeated exposure effect on people. So the next time you get into the voting queque, remeber this !

Physical attraction

Do I love you because you are beautiful or you are beaurtful because I love you? What do you look for in a potential date? Looks? Character? Sincerity? Studies show that pre-school teachers trend to give a more positive response to bright and charming children.It has been found in a study that criminals who are atractive tend to get away with less severe punishment. "Even virtue is fairer is fairer ina fair body", said Aristotle. A beautiful face, attractive clothes a 'hitting' perfume -they all contribute to the 'love at first sight' phenomenon. These are times when this attraction makes you ignore other attributes, thus the term 'blind love' However this physical aspect, though critical in attraction, does not always lead to successful long-term reelationships.

What appears attractive to us ?? Why is that some people seem magnetic while we dislike others from the word go?When it comes to physical attractiveness, apart from the standards that media and models see for us, we tend to have our own preferences, which are affected by information about others.

We tend to choose partners who are a 'good match' in attractiveness and other traits. Also, the probability that one would be attracted to someone who is similar to oneself rather than to someone who is different, is definitely higher. Add to it the ' simlilarity breeds content' pattern. you know how it works when you find someone who shares youe ideas, values, and desires, and who likes he same music you do. this increases attraction and mental proximity. Liking is usually mutual. Intial attraction to someone is also influenced by the fact that the 'someone' likes us.